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CBT and childhood traumas

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees.

You sound very stable. The thing with being an orange is that apples can have an unwanted affect on us because some times it looks like they are the answer. But always it turns out wrong and passes. Like having a cold. It passes. It is not easy some times to be unique but I think it is worth it. I'm very happy to hear you sounding the way you do.

At least half the leaves have turned here and it is cold out at night. There is not much left in my garden. Days are still nice though. I'm giving away the apples I don't need and today I had people over picking them. Tomorrow I have another person coming. Some are oranges but the majority are not, still it is nice to visit and when they leave I go back to what I was doing. So far only one of these people would I want to spend much time with. Not your average apple. The rest are pleasant enough but not my cup of tea. That is life right. But there is a sort of lost feeling like I should join the herd. I could but it would not last. I don't want to be a sheep.

I have a few zucchini still and some late pumpkins that probably won't make it. I didn't get the plants out early enough and it was so dry. Part of my aim high and settle for what I get attitude. I'm not going to dig my Jerusalem Artichokes till after they freeze this year. I haven't been to the farmers market since spring so I don't know what they have. Fall can drag on here and then in a blink of an eye winter moves in. Winter is my rest time.

I'm glad you are going to discuss meds with your Doctor and some times they are necessary to get over the hump. I have no fear of you abusing them if you do try them.

Keep me posted, your progress makes my day.

I have found some one who will go with me for my cataract appointments so that has taken a load off.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Hi Davit,

An update. I have an appointment to discuss medication with my doctor.

My recent bout of anxiety has lifted and I am propelled forward by some realizations that things I have insisted are important to me are truly very important and I am not going to be told differently by anyone. I've had my core beliefs challenged a lot by people and circumstances. I know everyone does but there has been little counterbalance a lot of the time. Hence me expressing a lot of tiredness and exhaustion last week when I posted and talked with you here.

Anyways I wanted to let you know I am feeling better and I believe that your help was one of the contributing factors to being able to get here. I am getting better at not feeling bad for asking for help from people for things.

I am back to feeling confident and knowing I'd rather be an orange with fewer social events on my calendar than a busy apple with that disconnected feeling inside.

How are you? How is autumn where you live? Where I am the weather is quite nice still, and there is lots and lots of fresh goodies being harvested and we are up to our elbows around here with tomatoes and zucchinis. It is a really nice time of year.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees

The reason I don't like meds is that most change how a person feels or leaves them impaired. So here I am with a cellar full of wine and won't drink more than a glass because I don't want that impaired feeling. And the same with coffee or chocolate. But I think nothing of taking Tylenol so I can keep working. There is no cough medicine in my place because of the side effects. So it was nice to find a med with less side effects than most cough medicine.

So much of this is attitude. It is good to fear meds rather than just popping them for every little ailment but if one will improve the quality of life and probably will be short term then you have to weight the benefits against any possible side effects. Even Ativan which I hate is okay if kept to less than a month, but it never is.

Personally I think you will be okay and I am glad I am able to help. And if I'm wrong at least we tried.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Hi Davit,

Thank you so much. you have helped me to feel confident that this is worth trying. I have been considering trying medication again for about a month or so.

I feel a renewed sense of hope for myself.

My stance on medication for myself is that it is probably short term (meaning less than 2 years). I have made a lot of progress over the last 10 years, but the moods have hindered me.

I often think about the sort of health care I wish I had been a recipient of. My hope is that someday everyone who needs it gets teh care I imagine in my mind. Someone could have observed me years ago and identified the mood issues. They were there. No one took the time to ask or look for them. I am annoyed that at best, where I live, if we say we don't feel good we get screened for depression but those questionnaires are so basic and they screen for persistent depressed feelings. People like me fall through the cracks. This is awful and I hope it stops happening some day soon. When my mood changes, I no longer would honestly qualify as depressed but during a low mood I would qualify. My mood can shift very quickly. I still have work to do with myself and will do it alongside medication. My doctor believes in startnig at the lowest dose.

You have helped me gain some needed insights about myself. I have some better insights into why I have not been able to be myself and be more assertive around apples. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me over the last few days. I really appreciate it.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees

Betty Emailed me back, she said she never had any side effects, even the ones I had and I know she was on a higher dose than me, and for longer. She was an LPN till the job got to her as it does to so many.

This may not work but I think it is worth a try and you know my usual stance on meds. The only reason I don't like them is too many people don't do the CBT once they are on them.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees

A mood stabilizer does just that. And in this way works as an anti depressant hence the classification. But the side affects are nothing like SSRIs. SSRIs made me nauseous agitated and suicidal thoughts. Why am I going on thoughts.

Trimipramine allows the unwanted thoughts to be shelved for a time you can better deal with them and in my case they just never came up again. I had to think on side effects. For me the only ones are a bit of trouble getting mobile and a dry mouth. I function, just slower than normal, reaction time isn't affected on the dose I took. On SSRIs I some times missed the intersection I wanted to turn at and would have to get the next one.

I will ask other people their experience on it. I know some. One for sure I can Email right away.

Except for the dry mouth I could not tell I was on it. In fact I never noticed any change even the fact that what had been bothering me was not there. I went happily about my work. In fact the one time I was on it and working for a living no one commented on a noticeable change.

Now you know that your body can react to foreign substances using this feeling as a trigger. In some people any med will trigger some anxiety till it is accepted as a normal feeling. In me it is some antibiotics. But not the Trimipramine. But it could happen. Which is why I say get the pills in the smallest dose and take two if that is what it takes to get the Doctor recommended dose. They are impossible to cut in half. 30+ years ago when my dad died I had to take it so I could handle the feeling and a job I hated and a woman that loved the coffee shop more than me. Well as you can see I'm fine although till doing CBT I had to still use it during high stress periods. I'm sure it made doing CBT easier.

Mood makes it impossible to concentrate and to think rationally. Mood can be very much like being drunk. A person can function drunk but thought is seldom rational. The biggest thing is mood robs you of a reason to do anything.

Sunsets will probably be more exciting.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Hi Davit,

I think I am a good candidate for that sort of help right now with my brain chemistry. I have hit limits in regards to what can and cannot seem to be overcome without more assistance, whether from better health care professional or medication. I had hoped that I could fix the mood issues I deal with on my own without medication but I am willing to acknowledge now that I could use some help. I think that without any further periods of using a medication for short term (6 months or a year) I would keep improving however hopefully medication can help me to improve more quickly and reduce the negative consequences of enduring so many mood disturbances. What are your thoughts on how mood relates to work with CBT?

I used to be anti-medication. I have changed my stance on this. One of the reasons, maybe the main one, why i was anti-medication for mental health issues is because it seems to me that the best medications are as targeted as possible. in other words, early medications for ailments tend to work in the ailment, but by affecting a myriad of aspects of our physical bodies, they go to work at such a broad level that in alleviating ailment x, they also affect all sorts of other areas.

I am curious about the experience one has when being on Trimipramine. and I will take into account we are all different. brain chemistry is so complex, we are affected so differently one to the other on the same medication. I tolerated the SSRI really well in terms of digestion and it not making me overly tired (it did cause weight gain though) , but it didn't alleviate the anxiety at all and I think I had more anxiety after being on it for a while.

To my mind, medication for physical pain (i.e. tendonitis) is so different from medication for brain chemistry. With tendonitis I want the medication to make the pain go away 100% ideally, with meds for mental health, we can't have a med that makes moods go away, that would be going too far. How does one feel on this medication? Does it allow for exposure work because it prevents the mood from crashing or anxiety from completely taking over?

I don't want to take something that blocks my ability to process stimuli whether it is the ability to take in a beautiful sunset or the ability to relate to someone who is talking to me about something important to them or to me.

I may start a separate post asking for anyone to share their experience with this medication too.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees.

SSRI's don't work for me and actually make me sick. I still had panic attacks. Because the majority of people can use a SSRI it is the first antidepressant used, often the only one. But when I lived in alberta in oil patch country among young highly wound workers Imipramine (before trimipramine) was more common. Often as a suicide preventive. and for sleep disorders. These people didn't need something to make them think better, no problem there. They needed something to shut them off so they could make use of the few hours sleep they could get. Not that I want to see anyone using it so they can sleep. It certainly will do that, more than you want at higher doses. You may find you don't come fully awake till noon. Till you adjust to it. My shrink told me the dose I had was too low and only would work as a pain killer but he was wrong, I am very sensitive, it worked fine.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

I have never heard of that. I am going to look into it. I tried an SSRI for a year and had more anxiety on it and found it didn' do anything so i went off it.. I sure wish I could get acess to a specialist and get proeper screening for which medications could help me best.

thank you.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees.

If you are willing and interested in it there is a medication for mood swings. It is mild, has almost no side effect and can be used only when necessary. And there is little or no wash out when stopping it. It works on dopamine not seratonin. Ive used it and know a lot of people who have. Side effects are a dry mouth and a tendency to sleep better and longer than normal.

This is a medication I like because it does not cause dependence like the Benzo's and although it is supposed to be used steady, it doesn't have to be. If you want to try it ask your doctor about it and get it in the smallest dose you can, the pills are too tiny to cut. It is the mood stabilizer Trimipramine. It is classified an anti depressant though but that is secondary.

Because of the rules of the site I can not recommend it but just say that for me it worked.

Davit.

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