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Lack of Direction

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Teebs

If you are like most workaholics you can drive yourself because every thing comes easy. The work becomes a safe routine and every thing else becomes work. Just the opposite of how other people do it. For them the rest is the safe routine and the work is the challenge.

Are you avoiding the rest time because it is foreign and you don't know how to do it? Treat it like a challenge, make it the work! Make it the highlight of the day! Make it a requirement of the job. You are good at what you do, see if you can do this.

Tough love.

Here for you

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Sunny - I feel much the same way, and I agree that productivity can take different forms. My problem is enjoying the time when you can/should stop and relax. Everyone keeps telling me it's okay to pause and take a break from pushing myself so hard, but that internal drive is so strong sometimes that increases the anxiety. Finding the balance is the key - and in my case maybe adjusting the balance to enjoy more and "work" less.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sunny

I like routine because it takes some of the stress out of my life. Eg. Get up have breakfast, water the greenhouse and so on. But I also like change to keep from getting stagnant. I can not do the same thing over and over well. I like to learn new things and even new thing in the same old routine. Take woodwork. I don't force it. I make what is in the wood. Some times I will make what appears to be the same thing, but there are variations in technique or material that make it different. I probably spend more time on my computer than any one. I have only three sites and mail but I use it to look up recipes on the net or in my stored cook book. I have a journal also, and now I am writing my book. But I don't let it rule my life as I know it can. It has it's place. But then I have a disability so it is not taking away from other things if it is all I can do at the time. Balance, all things in there place.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

The feeling that you're wasting time - that's what produces anxiety for me. I find if I'm not productive in some way then I tend to feel that I'm wasting time. This "productive" can be just about anything, art, cooking, gardening, etc. Yet I understand about balance, I also need to be able to relax and enjoy the day, just sit and enjoy what's in front of me. I can do it, but sometimes when sitting around too long, have the niggling feeling that one wants to be productive. If one doesn't meet those expectations then one may feel something is missing and thus feel the anxiety. Since I don't have to go work every day I have tried to contribute in other ways, still be a contributing member of society. This gives me a satisfied feeling, confidence and friendship, a role in life. This role may change every now and then - the transitions we go through in life are examples of this happening. Each transition may produce some stress/anxiety as we approach and familiarize ourselves with the new role. That's pretty normal for everyone.

So what's your new role?

Just thinking out loud today.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Ashley,

The class I am getting ready to take is another quilting class. This time it will be at a quilt shop where the class is structured and has some direction. This is one of the directions I am interested in going in. The other is I would like to take a creative writing class or maybe a literature class. One thing I know for sure it that I spend way to much time on line, which I am working on changing. This is not the direction I want to go in with the rest of my life thats for sure. I feel that if I get more structure in my life I will have less anxiety and I will be able to pursue other things I am interested in and in turn I will have a direction in my life. I really need to be doing something I enjoy where I am able to use both my mind and body. This way I will be living a much more enjoyable and productive life. Well that is the plan for now. I stayed off of the computer most of the day today and got a lot done. It was a very productive day and I am feeling no anxiety. It has been a really good day today.

Red

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Teebs,

Thanks for the response. I thought maybe I was the only who was struggling with finding a direction to go with there life. I also feel much better and have a lot less anxiety when I have more structure in my life with a direction to go in. This way I feel I am making progress and being productive. I also like photography, just as a hobby though. It gives me a lot of pleasure. I think if you could do be profession that would be wonderful. I want to applaud you for pursuing your dream of having a career in photography and also for showing a interest in going back to collage. This is a very positive step.

Follow your dreams,

Red

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Red -

I never realized it so clearly until I read your post here, but I think lack of direction is playing a huge part in my anxiety. I graduated from college 3 years ago and have been trying to find "my path" since then. In the meantime I've been returning to the same job I had in the summers during college which has left me feeling in a rut and with no way to grow - maybe that's part of the reason I've developed so much anxiety around my job? I am extremely self-motivated so the lack of direction has been very hard for me. I don't know if I want to go back to school for a more advanced degree or what exactly my calling is. It's especially hard with the economy the way it is and not many people hiring in my field. My problem has been I have all this motivation but I don't know what to do with it! Someone asked me a few weeks ago, "What is it, if you could do anything, that you want to do?" The first thing that came to mind was: wildlife photographer. So, in addition to taking steps through the program here, I am working on taking steps to expand my photography career.

I like Shari's idea of making a list of childhood dreams (or current dreams!). Maybe now you have time to do that thing you always put off - learning another language, learning to play an instrument, learning to raise chickens! I should be taking my own advice here.... :)

Thanks for posting this topic. It's really shed some light on my own situation! Let's keep the conversation going on how to find direction and motivation.

Teebs

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Red,

Interesting discussion topic. I could certainly see how having lack of direction could affect anxiety as having direction often leads to confidence. Being confident and self assured may assist with managing anxiety.

Don't feel alone in what you are expereincing. Everyone feels they are lacking direction at some point or another. Discovering your path in life often can take a lot of work, some people even hire Life Coaches in order to find that direction!

Can you tell us a bit about the class you are taking that you think will help you find direction? I am interested to hear about it!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Cleo, re: chicken diapers, I know, that was TMI (too much information), right? :)

Red, When I stay home too much, I get depressed. Some days, I force myself to put on some make up and go to a couple of stores. There's one where I know all the teenagers that work there and I'm known to hand out small knitted kittens as computer pets for them. I'll get a cup of coffee or snack and sometimes I can talk to a few of the kids and sometimes they're busy. Some days it's only saying, "Hi" and "Thanks" to a cashier, but at least I got out. I like going to the pet store and looking at the pets. I always feel better afterward. And, if no one had time to talk, I call my Mom, or get on this site and feel connected with friends. I do have a childhood friend, but she lives far away. Our families get together, at a half way city, once a year. My family all live far away, so it's a once a year visit as well. I try to keep in touch with relatives, but they're pretty wrapped up in their own lives. I will hear word from them once in a blue moon. Everyone, on my Italian side of the family, got into a big huge fight and now no one talks to each other. Sad, and rediculous. My bird lady friend, is more of an aquaintance, since we've only gotten together once or twice. But, I'm not giving up, I know there are potential friends out there somewhere. :) I also thought that there is a reason for everything. And, maybe right now, it's good that I don't have friends to go out with. If I did, I wouldn't have found this site and wouldn't spend as much time with my friends here on this site. So, that's my blessing, all of you!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Cleo

Over 10,000 words and 21 chapters. This is rough, I will fill it out a bit with some anecdotes and humour or it will be a small book, It will anyway I think. The plan is to get a feeling for what panic is and how to cure it and then itemize the specifics, but it will not be a work book, it will be a little book that shows what panic is for beginners and intermediates. It will not replace work books or this site. It will give people the knowledge they need to seek out sites like this one and seek help. It basically will just take the mystery out of anxiety and panic and show people there is hope. Sort of a this is the real thing to counter all the five minute cures. With the help of my therapist I will put in some information on medication so they have the right questions for there doctors. Also the pros and cons of using medication.

You realize I am doing this for my sanity. It may go no where. But it is motivation and it is fun.

Davit.

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