thank you CVD for your help! I also have trouble going to church. Although i really want to go and prayyyyyyyyyyyyy.......i just end up going and THINKING all the time about my panic lol. The last time i went to church, i ended up sitting in the car for the whole service cause i thought i would pass out. I have not been back since that time. But i promise i will go back. I really just didn't have time cause of my studies. But i really want to try and go back. I think it would be a healthy decision! Dont' be hard on yourself. The fact that YOU WENT TO CHURCH is amazing. That is a big step forward and i'm proud of you. They teach us in this program to not judge your success on the way you FELT in the situation. Just judge on the fact that you actually WENT and did it! I promise it will get easier. I wish you and everyone all the best! About the shutdown.....ya i feel that too. I feel such a disconnect with reality sometimes its unbelievable. My mood does a 360, and i'm just totally shut down. That happens at times. Dont worry, we will get through this! ;)

Cvd, It is great that you are actively working to succeed. Keep strong and take it step by step. The support from your mom is exceptional and you can do this. Let us know if we can help, Keep Strong, Josie ______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

Hi Angel, I am feeling better this morning. Thank you! I made my first attempt at my exposure work for my Agoraphobia this past Sunday. I've longed to go back to church for a very long time. My negative thought process was working overtime. I just could not muster up enough strength to face a huge crowd of people. My only support is my mom. She invited me to go to church with her since I already knew several of her friends that also attend there too. She thought this would help me being I wouldn't be around total strangers. The more we talked about it, the more I began to believe it myself. Boy was I wrong! My anxiety began at home at about a level 4 while I was getting ready to go. By the time I found myself walking in the front door of the church, I was at a level 6. I sat down with mom and told her I was trembling so hard it felt like my bones were gonna' shatter. The uncontrollable crying had already started. I was past my first symptom already. 'This is where the focussing came in.' I told her I needed to find a focus. I looked around at THINGS, something stationary, something that wasn't human. I looked up at the lights that were extended down from the ceiling. They had a gold cross on them. I chose one of those lights and kept looking at the cross. In my mind, I kept asking myself questions. How big is that cross? What's it made of? How did they put it on there? Basically asked myself anything about that cross to take my mind off of what was going on with me. By the time the choir started singing, I had peaked to a 10. Panic had hit so hard I couldn't hardly stand it. Again I was so embarrassed! I waited too long to find my focus. I should've began to focus the minute I sat down. (In spite of the fact that mom was so proud that I was there, she just had to introduce all of her friends to me.) I forced myself to stay through the whole service. But I'll tell you what, as soon as everyone was dismissed, I was looking for a way out RIGHT NOW! Another way to focus is to think of one object, place, event or person, anything that gives you a feeling of happiness and calming. When I feel the FIRST symptom of panic, I close my eyes and think of that only. I use my Shepherd as an object of focus. He literally saved my life. But that's an

Hey CVD. Thanks for your post. I hope you will gain control very soon! Dont feel so guilty, and dont' put yourself down so much. LOOK WHO IS TALKING lol....i always feel this way. But i'm really working on bringing myself up at bit. we really have to stop beating ourselves up. We have to have faith in ourselves. WE have to start believing that failure is a positive thing..........we just gotta keep trying! Also, about the focussing thing. what do u focus on? Can u give me an example? thanks so much! hope u are feeling better :)

I'm new to the forum. I too, can feel the panic attacks coming. Usually my first system is a feeling of uncontrollable trembling right down to the bones. (literally) But the symptoms come on so fast, sometimes I don't have a chance to confront the first one before the next one hits, to get control before the attack escalates and peaks. If it peaks, my fear level is way off the charts. Before my therapist told me about this exercise, I did the same thing that others have done. Ride it out. When I just ride it out, I'm extremely worn out physically, emotionally and mentally by the time the attack subsides. I feel ashamed of myself because I couldn't control it. I find myself apologizing 'every time' for something I have no control over. I'm not being fair to myself feeling guilty for having these problems. With my therapist's help, using CBT, allot of praying and allot of work on my part, I know I will eventually be able to gain control of my life again. I long to feel like a normal person again. :( I have been working very hard on this new exercise for me, using CBT with my therapist. 'Focussing' For me, focussing helps me to gain control. If I don't gain control, then the panic attack will control me. Finding a focus when I'm at the peak of a panic attack is an extremely difficult thing for me to do. When my therapist asked me to focus the first time, I felt like it was an impossible task. My thoughts when she asked me to do this was, "You've got to be kidding me?" "I'm sitting here, shaking so hard, I can't breath, my heart feels like someone is squeezing it with vice grips and racing to beat the band, the room is spinning, I'm sick at my stomach, crying uncontrollably and you want me to focus?" :gasp: But she was right. For me, when I first feel the panic attack coming on, I try to find a focus. It has worked for me with positive results for my last two panic attacks. I was able to stop them from peaking. Each one of these two attacks happened in different places and under different circumstances. The first one, I was at home. It came on unexpectedly. The other one, I was in public and it came because of a situation that I was in where I could not be in control of what was going on. I anticipated this one was going to happen. But I was stil

Thank you all for your support. I DID not have a panic attack! woohooo However, i just felt the discomfort of heavy breathing.....especially when i was laying down trying to fall asleep. But all in all, i know that nothing is wrong with my lungs. I am healthy. So, this morning i am feeling better than yesterday. I did use a relaxation technique which i tend to use every night. I put soft music in my room as i'm falling alseep. It helps me calm down. Thank you all for your help. U understand me sooooo well even though you have never met me. I find that amazing! thanks

New_angel is now Change_InProgress

Hi, Angel...it's the new angel(not that I'm calling you old or anything-god, I should change my name again!)I was reading your post today, in regards to 'feeling the panic coming.' I hate that feeling, too. I went to the doctor for the first time to see about my anxiety and panic, i'd never actually told anyone in authority about my anxiety/panic. I felt the panic in my legs first...the tingling in my muscles, then I started to think,'if only i could let this excess adrenaline help me fight off the panic!' Rather than cause it, I was trying to find ways to let it help my panic. It sounds bizarre, and needless to say, the adrenaline didn't really relieve my panic or anxiety...at least not that time. Instead, I spent most of my time in the waiting room feeling fuzzy and telling myself (internally), 'it's just panic, i will be okay.' I tried not to fight it, but I was afraid that I was going to faint or vomit. I am trying to get my hands around 'acceptance, ' in regards to the feelings that come.

Angel, How are you doing this morning? Did you try relaxation techniques? This can be beneficial for you. It can relax you and make the attacks less severe. Do some research on what relaxation techniques you would enjoy. Have a list and pick form it when needed. Let us know, Josie ______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

Hi Angel! You know what the best thing you can do right now is? Just keep on feelin it coming! It won't hurt you at all and you can sit quietly and if panic wants to arrive, just let it! I bet you are so exhausted from fighting it off so much that it may be a relief to know that you can just sit and let the uncomfortable sensations wash up and over you. It can't hurt you because you are so much stronger than it! Just let it come and know that you are never truely alone. I'm having a hell of a day too but I feel much better tonight after I let everything bubble up and over and had a good cry. Things will look much brighter as soon as you stop letting the panic control you (I KNOW how friggin hard that is and I'm still on that road,) but nothing can hurt you! You are strong! Good luck and let me know if you want to talk! Jen