Basicly it was just that..self talk,,at first i felt kinda put down,as to say..not needed,and felt all the self doubt,fear and anger setting into my thoughts..so i backed away from those thoughts,and looked at things from my Sons perspective,and my Daughter in laws too...were not in the same state or town as they are,and they have some family and friends there,that would love to help out....I could see a familer thought pattern i was having...and after rethinking it all out,i do understand more...
I would still like to be there,but only if they need me,and i am sure they will be fine,yes it is the parent in me..thats ok,just means i love them,and thats ok too,,,,
I can understand how you might be a little disappointed at first. As a mom, I am sure it is in your nature to want to nuture and be there for your family. But I'm glad you also saw the positive side of things too - it sounds like your daughter in law will be well taken care of.
How were you able to step back from the situation and see it objectively? The self talk sounded like a good strategy.
Have not been here in a while,but wanted to share something...for the last week,i have cut my one celexa in half,to try to ween away..but then i started to feel bad,so i went back to the one whole one....that was a test for myself...i do have problems with being co dependant at times,and i caught myself yesterday,and had a long self talk..my Daughter in law is facing neck surgery for a bone spur on her spine...i started looking up everything i could for her about it,and told her i would be there to help,and i do want to help out...yesterday,my son always calls me on his way to work..and he said he was taking 2 weeks off work to help,and that friends and family there would be helping too,at first i was a little upset about this,and after really thinking on it,he is right,and i felt better about it after thinking it through..i am sure if they need me,i will go and be there..i just wanted to share,that some times i jump before i listen....
I am doing very good after my surgery,all is well,it cold here,and staying in and keeping warm....
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