Thanks for helping Davit. I wanted to take the afternoon to think about this, but your insight here is probably all that's needed.
Shari,
What hard is the ability to keep your senses since the heart wrenching decisions that have to be made, like long term care, are best made when you're on level ground. As a caregiver, I find I'm sometimes dancing as fast as I can, or tip toing around something, or walking through fire or walking a tight rope so it takes a lot of fancy footwork. I've learned to just repel some things.
I was reminded by a geriatrician that our parents know all our "buttons", so I was going to draw a diagram today to figure where they are! On the other hand, I wish to be vulnerable.
I wondered if I could learn that training which professional caregivers in institutions have, but we differ in a distinct way. We can't walk away from the "job" after a shift, and go to an accepting community.
So I suppose I'm supposed to keep building a community, and make a back up plan, I was told.
Let us know how you're doing Shari. I was told "I'm a person too", and that really resonated with me