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Dropping in to say hello

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hello Everyone: Thought I was done with all the parphenalia but it still looks like Christmas here with all the pumps and monitors. I still have three i.v. pumps attached to me, two are for food and one is for antibiotics. This is no way to lose weight. Not even allowed a sip of water in the last 12 days. Basically everything is o.k. except I still have a hole in my intestine and some very large stitches in my abdomen. Never been cleaner in my life. Two dressing changes, two baths, new bedding at least twice a day. I feel fine but am very weak and have a lot of pain still. Constant feed low-dose painkiller 24/7. Very bored, actually not that hungry, weak and restless mostly. Not allowed to sit or stand on my own. Will be in a sling from the bed to a chair to get me up for awhile and off my back. Infection gave me major hallucinations. Could have been worse but CBT got me through it. I survived horrendous panic attacks anyone could imagine. They are still in the background but most parts CBT works, unfortunately the only benzo I can have is the dreaded Ativan. It is the only one I can do sublingual. I cannot have others, no water allowed to swallow it down and do not go under tongue. This is one of the situations where the load is so high I have to have some medication also, so I can sleep. There are side effects to the med. Otherwise, all goes well. It will just be a long haul. Hope the fact that I can do this is inspiration for you. Sunny is typing this for me because I can barely move. My arthritis has flared up badly. I am auditioning for the Pillsbury Dough Boy because I have so much edema from fluids pumped in.

I want to thank everyone for all their prayers and good wishes.

Til later,

Davit

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Thanks for sharing Sunny. I hope you continue to feel the peace you felt and continue to smile with fond memories of your mother. Deborah said it so well - she must have been a great woman & mother to have influenced and inspired the wonderful person you are.

I hope you are feeling better and getting your energy back! Great to know you have Davit to care for you as well

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 424

I am so sorry to hear of your loss,but i am very happy that you were fine through all of this!

It had to be a very difficult time for you,big hugs to you both!

Hope you get to feeling better soon..

Bren

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Beautiful Sunny! Thanks for sharing.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi: It's really very simple - I wanted to do it. When you want something, it's just easier to go for it. When you are hesitant and unsure, the what if's come up and too much time pondering over it sometimes causes anticipatory anxiety.

I dislike flying but have no trouble doing it. I suppose practice makes perfect as the saying goes. I've done it often enough that I know what to expect. Sometimes it's the unknown which causes anxiety. If someone was afraid of a crash, let's say, I bet they'd be perfectly happy to go if they knew they would arrive safely. Trust issues come to mind here.

The feeling after giving the eulogy successfully was one of love. I loved my mother very much and I wanted to do this for her. I wanted to share with others the areas in which she had influenced us with her wisdom and creativity, love, etc. When I carried her urn out of the church to the waiting car to go to the cemetery, I was smiling, just a little. I did cry too, but I was just happy to do this for her, I was filled with love. I think she and Dad would have been proud of my brother and I and that makes me very happy.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Sunny,

Wow, I'm very impressed with how strong you are. Everything you have just went through and accomplished would be challenging for anyone. It is amazing that you were able to get through it with out anxiety. What do you think made this possible? If you would give advice to another member who had to do the same thing what would you say?

It was very nice to read you were happy with the eulogy you gave. How did it feel to be able to give this gift to your mother and her loved ones? What will you remember about this moment?

Thanks for the update Sunny. It is always nice to hear how you are doing.

Post again soon!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Dear Sunny,

I am sorry I did not know you're Mother passed away. I am very sorry. I am sure she was a great woman like her daughter.

I did not know you were sick, what was wrong? I hope the antibotics cured you quickly. You are very very strong Sunny, you traveled many miles, sick, and delivered a eulogy without any anxiety, how wonderful. I hope you are resting, I know I was on three rounds of antibotics in two months and they do tire you out, I hope you are napping and resting and you are better quick.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi: I'm safe and sound back again. My trip was very nice. Flights were great - could see even from 40,000 plus ft. below as the skies were clear and the sun was shining. Beautiful.

Absolutely no anxiety, not even a twinge.

The night before leaving for my trip I had to go to ER as I was feeling so sick. I had to make this trip no matter what. They found I needed antibiotics and started me with an i.v. of antibiotic as this goes through the system faster. I then took antibiotics for the remainder of time. Though uncomfortable at times, I did quite well and am feeling just fine again. Unfortunately I was very fatigued for some of the visit and needed to lie down every now and then. Still, I kept positive thinking that it would soon pass and it did.

The day of my mother's funeral was a beautiful sunshiney day and everything went very well. Some of you may know I get nervous giving speeches but on this day giving the eulogy for my mom I didn't feel any nervousness at all and was quite eager to do it. I wanted to do it for her and I focused on the message I wanted to give. It went very well and was complimented. I'm so happy that I was able to do this for her.

Well, now it's back to some work. Davit and I will be very busy planting our veggies. My dog was so happy to see me again - that's a wonderful feeling too.

On another note, my meds for bp will be changed again next wk. Not looking forward to that but....thinking positively, I will feel even better than now. :-)

Sunny

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