It started after my first experience with marijuana--huge mistake. Huge, huge, huge mistake. I thought I was dying and had a big panic attack-the first one i've ever experienced. When I woke up the next day, it was gone. A few days later though, I woke up and felt a tingling in my back. I thought nothing of it at first, but when I stood up out of bed all of a sudden it felt like my whole body was numb. The only way i can describe it is i felt like how i felt when i was high, but my mind was normal. A couple hours later though, i felt like i was full-blown high. Not the "fun" kind of high that everyone seems to think marijuana gives, but a scary, lost, confused high. I felt like i was watching myself and as if my mind was not attached to my body. Everything moved slowly as if i was high. I was afraid to walk around because i knew i wouldn't be able to feel it and i thought i would knock into things and wouldn't be able to control my movements, but when did i seemed to be able to walk normally. It lasted for an entire WEEK and i talked to my mom about everthing that was happening (all truthfully-we're very close), but then i started a new job (my first job) and worked full time during my spring break, knowing it wouldn't be appropriate if i was freaking out at work, it was as if i had snapped out of it and it seemed like it faded quickly--by my second or third day of work.
A few weeks ago though, i did have some major life changes. I officially enrolled in the college im attending next year and realized how much my life would change, and my boyfriend, for a year and a half, and i broke up. I was experiencing so many emotions. I was feeling excited, scared, and the wrath of my first heartbreak (and i still am). Now i've just been having this constant, 24/7 feeling like nothing is real and everything that once was familiar looks foreign and i've been having a lot of experience with panic attacks lately. At first i told myself that this would pass just like the depersonalization did and it seemed to be working, as if it was slowly fading away, but now i feel like it's getting worse. My memory has just gone down the drain and i often find myself overanalyzing my senses and questioning reality--again, i feel like i'm high or something. I have no motivation for anything and have no grasp on my perception of time! I went to talk to my doctor about it but it really made me mad because when i explained everything to her, about the marijuana and anxiety and said how things "didn't look the same" she looked like she was saying "aww" in her head and told me that it's a part of growing up. Ugh! She offered a prescription for anti-anxiety pills but i didn't take it because i feel like it won't do me any good.
I've just started taking a multi-vitamin, magnesium, and l-theanine supplements but i'm not sure if i've seen any change yet.
