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Creating a Stress Plan


11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sunflower

Thanks for your prayers, because they've already worked :)  My daughter called and was concerned about me.  So, although she doesn't keep in touch very often, she calls when it really matters.  So, I am grateful for that.  Well, my husband may get laid off from work.  He's applied for a job that is close to my friends and family in my home town, so if he gets that job, I will be able to fill my social needs that way.  If he gets laid off and does not have a job, then we have to short sale the house and both move into my parents house in Florida until he finds work.  I've decided to wait and see what happens.  It would be awkward for me to move in with my parents and then have my husband move in later.  I can't base decisions on speculation.  Before my daughter left for college, she was great company.  We used to talk and do things together and when she left my world fell apart.  Usually, when kids leave the nest, spouses do things together and get closer, so it's an easier transition.  But, when she left, my husband didn't talk to me or do anything with me, so her absence was deafening loud and unbearable.  We'll see how this pans out, but there is hope I will live near friends and family.  I'll let you know when I hear anything.  My anxiety level is very low right now.  Prayer works :)  

Thanks again, Shari 
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hugs4u

I think by practicing the coping skills learned in this program is how to manage it.  The reason why I've been anxious again, is because I am not putting into practice what I have learned here.  I think you get to the point where you're comfortable and think you can let everything slide.  And, then you are taken by surprise when anxiety shows up again.  At least that's what happened to me.  I'm reviewing everything I've learned from this course and putting it into practice once more.  I'd like to hear what other people's opinions are on that excellent question.

Thanks, Shari
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
A followup question I wished to ask was how do we modulate this thing called anxiety, so we live life optimally, instead of being overwhelmed
11 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Sunflower,
The book's title by Susan Jeffers reminds me  of adivce(and I've had so much) which I've forgotten.
 
Anxiety is "normal" to some extent, so accepting helps me use it to function.  I wonder if I get overwhelmed since I reject this natural response to life, and then give up.
 
I was feeling overwhelmed this morning since I was trying to decide whether to take a course about gardening, with the fear that I'd lose my focus on other things, such as home management and caregiving.
11 years ago 0 250 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am praying for you too Shari. I am sure we will get through this too, it just takes time and a plan.

Thanks

Sunflower
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you so much Sunflower.  I appreciate your encouragement more than you know.  I just ordered the book you mentioned and I can't wait for it to arrive in the mail; it gives me hope on handling things better.  I will pray for you to feel peace going to work.  I know how you feel.  My stomach was bothering me yesterday from stress.  And, if I leave, I will have to work too.  I know we'll make it, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes :)  Thanks for your support.  We just need to keep going.  You're right, when I look at everything at once, it's overwhelming.  But, when I break it down into dealing with things step by step, I do feel less stress.  Thank you again.

God bless you, Shari 
11 years ago 0 250 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Shari,

I too am afraid of change. I am so afraid to go to work today and my stomach is like a heaving ocean. 

I am sorry you are going through all that, maybe you could make a plan on what to deal with first? Breaking down problems makes things a bit easier to work out. Maybe figure out what this mornings or afternoons issues are and address them.

I found reading "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers really helped though I have to read and re-read it often because I forget the techniques.

Take care and remember that you are always stronger than you think.

Sunflower
11 years ago 0 1071 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, It's Shari.  I was cured of panic attacks, because of this program.  I'm having a lot of stress in my life which is causing anxiety.  I will go down the list of questions that Ashley posed.  1) The biggest source of stress in my life is my husband (my daughter is second).  2)  It's a long term stress.  3)  I've reacted to this stress in kindness to my own detriment.  4)  My reaction is appropriate to the context.  (I am told to feel free to get a job and earn my keep.  He makes decisions and I have no say in anything.  I have to pay for my pets, my clothes, and my food from the allowance he gives me).  5)  I don't think my reaction is helpful to me in the long run. (I just try to keep the peace and make things work).  6)  My other reaction is to move in with my parents in Florida and get a part time job.  My biggest fear is being homeless and alone when my parents aren't around anymore.  I stay and take the control and abuse, for financial security reasons.  I've been a housewife and mother my whole life and I've never been financially independent.  I'm an artist and it's not really a marketable skill that pays well to support yourself.  I raised my daughter to be independent, so marriage is a choice, not that she has to, because she can't take care of herself.  (I'll be 50 this year and was raised that you grow up and get married and a man takes care of you).  My daughter is so independent that she doesn't keep in touch.  No calls, emails or visits.  I don't think she would help me when I get old.  She said she was determined to be the 100% opposite of me which hurt me to the core.  She is more like my first husband's family (I'm in my second marriage).  They have the same sleep patterns and are workaholics.  I thought my life would be different and that I would never be divorced and my child would visit and keep in touch.  My husband was kind and generous when we dated for two years and after we got married he said we weren't going out anymore, because we have to save for the future.  My parents love me and I wonder why do I still stay with my husband when his actions speak louder than words.  I don't like change and I am afraid and have anxiety about starting my life over in Florida with my parents.  I'm not 20.  I think sometimes being alone is better than being in a bad marriage, but it's scary.  I wish I could find some one who was nice to me, but I don't know if I could trust again.  I know I'm in the what if's.  I just don't have anyone to talk to about this.  I feel alone.  
11 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Stress is a normal part of everyone's life and there are healthy ways of dealing with it. You can change or avoid the sources of stress. You can change the way that you respond to stress and you can learn to relax by utilizing your stress plan!

Answer the following questions to get started:

1.    Name the biggest source of stress in your life?
2.    Is this source of stress short-term or long-term?
3.    How do you react to this source of stress?
4.    Is your reaction appropriate to the context?
5.    Is your reaction helpful to you in the long-term?
6.    What other reactions could you have to this source of stress?

In question six, you are asked to choose an alternative behavior. Your challenge this week will be to try it out.

Let us know how it goes and tune in Sunday when we will give you more suggestions!
 
Ashley, Health Educator

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