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Not convinced its Cancer

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie and everyone,

I hope this is going to be a more positive post, for the first time in days and days I have a little hope! My voice coming back not quite normal yet but much better AND the pain in the side of my throat is still there but not as intense, anotherwards when I swallow I feel pain but not the sharp stabbing pain, could I be getting better? Oh that would be SO wonderful! Maybe its NOT cancer like I thought, just the thought of that is so relieving, there is a problem in my throat/ear but maybe its just not cancer.

I so hope this trend continues the thought of having a camera shoved down my throat terrified me to death! I pray I continue to get better, the voice returning is nice but if this pain goes away in my throat and ear I think I can recover, I finally have hope.

Could post-nasal drip or coughing or constantly clearing youre throat {and I am constantly clearing it seems many many times a day} could that cause pain? Has anyone ever had that? The fact that is a little better is good I think, I pray it continues. I am so exhausted from days and days of sickness and worry and pain, I need a reprieve of it, I am hoping these symptoms are something other than cancer and that is a positive thought. I am trying so hard to think up and recover, the only bad thing is I must clear my throat and cough and that causes the pain, I notice my throat is not as red, oh Carmie I will be so relieved when its over as you say, you have all been so wonderful to me.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Debora,

Hi - I think that this is one of your most positive posts! I am so sorry about your ear - but I am so grateful that you were able to talk to your aunt. She sounds awesome!

I think that you are creating a really good suitcase of positive thoughts. Keep up the great work. I love the story of your son's early beginnings. It brought happy tears to my eyes. I hope you get to hear his laugh today. I hope you find more joy and I hope that you will hear back from your doctor or get to a place where they can help to make your pain go away so you can continue making great progress on all of your goals.

Take care - I look forward to hearing from you later.

Carmie

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie,

I did take one tylenol and I am doing the olive oil and not swallowing helps but I am going to try to eat something soon.

I really like the you're description of you're family in you're post, the way you're husband giggled and you're son telling you he loved you! how precious, it reminded me of how my family was when we were younger, those were such very good days.

I imagine my best memory would be when my son started to talk, he was a very late talker and when he started we were so very happy, now he talks a lot but I would not change it for the world, I love hearing his voice and I love his laugh also.

I am trying really hard to remain positive Carmie and Hugs, its hard but I have driven myself to the point of a nervous breakdown and I had bad left arm pains all because of my worry and fear, that is no good, no good at all, all my worry and fear has accomplished is more symptoms I am doing my best to relax and forget about what I read on that medical site.

My Aunt called earlier, it was hard to talk with hardly a voice so I mainly listened she came up with some good points, she is a postitive person and that helps, she said this "ear pain and hoarseness" came on very very fast and right around the time when I had that cold and then broncitits, she said cancer wouldnt be that "quick" and she said maybe the antibotic caught the broncitis but not the ear/throat thing and its it viral it would not work anyway". That helped me hearing that, it gave me so hope that maybe just maybe its NOT cancer and it will go away and this will be like a bad dream, and I will feel somewhat good again like Carmie says! I hope and pray that will happen, I have too have hope, but I know I have too see a Doctor if I am not well in a day or two, its gone on awhile, I just took my last antibotic maybe that will be the miracle! Thank you. Thank you all for you're prayers, I so want to recover in all ways for my family, life is too short too be like I am!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Deb:

Are you able to take anything for the pain? Maybe Tylenol? I am sorry that you weren't able to get an appointment with the doctor but glad you've taken the steps to do so. Did you find something wonderful to think about, some little positive thing to make you smile? The night is young and you can still search your memory for something really wonderful to share, right? I know it's difficult because your ear hurts so and you are worried.

I have a couple of wonderful memories from today. Watching a funny tv show with my husband (I love his giggle) and my son telling me that he loved me in the sweetest, softest voice (you know how boys can be so loud, sometimes - I love it when my son speaks softly and says kind things). Those are my two things. Yours don't have to be from today if today hasn't been great. Maybe you can share a memory that really makes you smile?

Wishing you a good night - you deserve one!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Deb,

That's what we wanted to hear!

You recognized that this will pass AND you'll keep focusing on Carmie's mantra for a while.

It's working already

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie,

My husband let me sleep too late today because I was up all night with pain in my ear and fear. He called my primary and they never called back, I have too go see him then get a referal this could take weeks and I do not think I could take it I would surely have a heart attack waiting three weeks. My panic is so extreme, I never smoked much just 3 or 4 a day and now I have gone cold turkey and its so hard I am breaking out in hives from it but I never want to see another cigarette again, its what has caused this condition I know! I just took my last antibotic and I guess I better accept that it did not help, I am so confused.

My only option right now is too go to urgent care, which will not help or ER, do you think if I went to ER they could check my throat and ears? My voice is a little better but it fades quickly and the ear pain is awful, I have warm olive oil with a cotton ball in it now, it takes the edge off a little, my son is on spring break and has all these plans and I do not want too ruin it for him with a diagnosis of throat cancer, he has worked so hard at school and deserves some fun, I dont have a therapist anymore so I dont know who too talk took my nurse practioner said "see a doctor" which I did and I did not get better or any relief, I dont think I should wait almost a month for a ENT doctor should I? if it is what I think, and I pray I am wrong, it could grow more and be more fatal, if the ear pain would just go away I would feel calmer its scaring me so and the fact that I cannot get a specialist doctor is scaring me more, would ER doctors know what to do? could they diagonose? I dont know. Its almost like I dont want to hear the words what is wrong with me, I am afraid I will have a breakdown or hear attack, and then there is radiation and chemo and sugery which I may not survive, I dont want too leave my little boy.

I will probably go to ER tommorow, tonight I just want to rest and put it out of my mind, its driving me crazy. I am holding on too your words Carmie, "this will soon be behind you and you will be better" I will keep telling myself that, thank you.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

You really will feel great once this is behind you. I just hope and pray that it will be soon for you. Please don't forget the good advice of Vincenza - I think it's very good what she had to say about the mind-body connection and meditating/praying in order to get well. It really does sound like slowly (too slowly), things are getting better for you. I hope that things will pick up the pace a bit.

Did you call the ENT today? I hope your voice was well enough to do so. Please let me know what you found in your day that brought you joy? Sometimes we have to look hard for these things. I am anxious today for some unknown reason. My chest and throat are tight. I am going to look for positive things, too, and can't wait to post that the symptoms are gone :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Oh Carmie I wish I could just give you a big hug for all you're words of encouragment wisdom and hope. This is probably the worst I have ever been. I am trying so so very hard too think positive, I have a few more antibotics left too take the course is almost finished and I want to believe that they will still work, that is what I am praying too God for, I am probably being foolish but its all I have right now to believe in, the broncitis went away and my voice is a little better perhaps the ear pain will be the last too go, I hope so, the thought of going to ER and having a camera down my throat fills me with terror, I really do not think I will be able to do it, I would probably faint walking through the door, I am praying for a miracle and I know you are too, thank you Carmie, my husband is even worried and he never worries, the thought of throat cancer has caused such a setback in me.

I will try to remain positive Carmie, I have cried all day and it did not help one bit, all my worry and crying has not helped one little bit so I have to try and stop it. If I am not better by Tuesday I will seek more help somewhere and just hope I do not get a bad diagnosis. I am holding on too your words when you said the relief and joy and happiness I would feel when I was better, just like you with the strep throat, thank you for all your prayers and help, I am so grateful so very grateful. Deb.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Debora, hi,

I just wanted to say that I am saying a prayer for you and I really think that Vincenza's advice about relying on the mind-body connection. I have a mediation that I do oftenwhere I focus on positive healing thoughts. I will wish for health for you soon. I can't help but think about how wonderful it will be when you are finally well again.

I surely look forward to reading about something in your day that brings you joy.

I am so sorry about the ear pain. I wish that there was something that you could take for the pain. It sounds awful.

I really also think that the worrying and crying about the unknown has to be just terrible. I hope that Vincenza's quote will help (I am going to keep it nearby for when I find myself in the panic cycle).

Definitely praying for you - for your health and for peace in your heart.

Carmie

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Red,

I hope I can get help I went to a doctor and it did not help much I am as still sick as I was, I have very very bad luck with the medical profession and I so wish that were not true. I am just about ready to give up on doctors they do not help, I think the only one that can heal me is God because it does not seem like I am having much luck, I went to the doctor I took the medication and I am no better then I start to fear cancer, because if it were an infection it would of been cured. I just want to sleep now I am so exhausted from crying, thank you for praying for me. I am probably the worst of have ever been now, I have lost hope and I have lost faith in the medical community and that is so sad. I am so tired.

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Not convinced its Cancer