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Cant Make an Appt

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you so very much Red for taking the time to write me, I know you are not feeling well and having issues of your own so I am so grateful and appreciative you took this time and trouble too write me. You probably went too sleep which I hope you did too get your rest, I just saw your post, I layed down too, all that crying today exhausted me, I just collasped into sleep awhile.

Its going to be very very hard to get thru tommorow and I hope I can do it, I have been too three doctors in three weeks and recieved no help or relief so you can imagine how scary that is, and this breathing issue is scaring me. I so pray this doctor is gentle, kind, patient, and compatant something that I have not recieved from doctors lately. I guess my first main fear is getting sick in his office and having too bolt out and then him telling me something is terribly wrong, but I know if I do not go I will go mad with worry and fear, in a way I just want it over, either way, and someone to give me a "plan" to get better, does that make sense? I have not been out during the daytime in months and its going to be hard, I will have my husband with me but there are times he gets frustrated and mad at me, and that is overwhelming on top of the fear, I have a wonderful Aunt but she is out of state, how I long for her just too put her arms around me and take away some of this terrible fear.

I am going to try now to take a hot bath and go too bed too get some sleep for tommorow, I hope I can sleep even worst would be going without sleep, I am going to try and just sleep so the hours will go by quicker, so I do not have too think about it. Thank you for your advice about the appt I will do it, just take my time and I will let you know what I find out, thank you so much, Deb.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Debora,

One last thing before I go..I hadn't read you last post before I responded..Try not to worry..I know easier said than done.

Since you have to get referrals it might be a good idea to follow up with a appointment with your primary care doctor as you see the ENT..Especially if you are not happy with how it turns out. If your primary is the one who gets you the referral to the specialists than it would be a good idea to see him too..

Well as you know I am pretty sick if you have been reading posts lately..I am not sure when I will be back on again but I wish you the best as always..I am very tired so I am going to have to go now..just wanted to encourage you to continue to what ever you need to do to get well..

Good night and God Bless Debora..

Red....

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hello Debora,

I just want to stop by and give you a little support. I unfornately know these thing can be very scary. I too was afraid to go to the doctor and it took me about a year of working the program here before I could call one just like you..I have been coming here for over 2 yrs now and it was still very hard but I called this time just like you did and yes I picked up the phone many times before I could make the call just like you did..What matter is that you did call and that takes a lot of courage. So you see, You have made a lot of progress even if it may not seem like it to you it is a major deal. Take it from one who knows. So give yourself credit and be very proud of all you have accomplished. I know I am. These things just take time. Sometimes is it takes longer for some of us than it does for others and that is ok. I too suffer from agoraphobia and know how disabling it is. I have to tell you when I went to doctor and later for some tests I was very anxious and when the tests were over. I kept telling them I wanted to leave and go home..I had to stay for 2 hrs after the biopsy I kept asking to leave and even thought about taking out my own IV and you know what they didn't sent me home they just kept listening and talking to me until it was time for me to leave. I really believe the doctor will see you not matter what you do and will not send you home without helping you first..

What I have been trying to do when it comes to my fears about my health issues is take it one issues at a time. Breaking it down into very small steps. Like you did making the phone call..Than getting dressed and ready to go to the doctor on the day of my appointment. I start out in the morning with coffee and slowly work on getting ready if it is a late appointment I have all day. I like the late appointments they give me more time to ease into it..Same thing with the doctors and tests just take it one test and one doctor at a time. Try not to worry about cancer just yet..Just focus on getting to the doctor. I found taking things one day and moment at a time helped me a lot..This way I don't become overwhelmed with to much at one time. Actually I was relieved when I was finally given a diagnosis and yes it is not what I wanted to hear and it made me sad and yes I am scared, but now that the doctors and I know what is wrong we are working on getting me better..So you see the doctor you are going to see can help you if not he will sent you to the specialist that you need to see..Thats what they had to do with me and there are several doctors working together and with me to help me get well. They know it is stressful for us when we get sick and that we have a lot of anxiety about it..They are very understanding of this..Just try to focus on getting up and getting showered and dressed the day of your appointment. Take your time and see if that helps a bit..The is light at the end of the tunnel..

Red....

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I really need some encouragement guys. I went online to print out the directions and map to the ENT's office and his "reviews" upand they were not good. A few said "bad bedside manner" "misdignosis" "rude and in a hurry" and "overcharged" Now I am really scared, in my state of mind I need a doctor who will not hurt me or be mean too me, I am sick too my stomach now, I wish I had not read these reviews, if I do not go it may be a week or longer before I find someone and this has too be done by referral anyway, I hope these reviews are old and not right, I remember when I got my therapist last year he had glowing wonderful reviews and that turned out awful! What should I do? Still go, or wait for someone else? I so want this over with its driving me crazy with panic and tears, but I dont want to pick a quack I have a knack for doing that. What should I do?? I am so confused and even more scared now, I dont want him to hurt me.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I just went online and thank you all. I am trying so hard to get the courage to go to my appt, if I pass out or get sick I am afraid he will send me home, I pray this doctor can help me, the other three did not and that is scary and I am so afraid I have laranx cancer and I just know I would not survive that, I could never put my family through that hell, I have been crying and panicking all day not only because I have to go tommorow but because I am terrified what they will say, its not normal to be so sick for over a month, none of the antibotics helped and then I get too thinking because its cancer or something fatal, I am driving myself crazy with these thoughts but I am unable to stop them, and the grief too my family is causing me such heartache and guilt.

My friend from another city came over today and was horrified at my condition, she thinks I have had a complete mental and physical breakdown and the doctors have just let it go, she said the therapist I was seeing should be reported{I am not going to do that of course} that he actually made me worse, she looked really scared about my condition and she does not scare easy, Hugs said many people would not have survived my situation and that gave me some hope, maybe I am a little stronger than I think I am, I had a bad experience early this morning, I could not breathe, I finally fell asleep, thats all I want too do is sleep and I know that is not healthy, I pray the ENT does not have bad news, I have nothing left too fight with, I just want this too be over, for 15 months I have been emotionally ill now for a little over a month physcial sick and nothing is working? I am praying to accept this cross but its hard, I just want too live again for my son, I hope I am given that chance, I think we all deserve a second chance, and I hope I get one, somehow I have to draw on what little strength and hope I have left and try too recover, I do not want to die, not like this, One day I hope and pray I can write I am better for all of you who have helped me so much. I am sorry I am just so scared of the appt tommoror, the procedure and results, and you have all helped. I know Red has gone through similar to what I am and somehow she is getting through it, thank God. I am just so tired, I feel like my body is giving out and I do not want that, I want to live too see my son grow up. I pray I have that chance.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Debora,

I agree 100% with what Sunny has shared. You should keep the appointment and keep those positive words from your aunt at the forefront of your mind. This is so important. Keep those positive ideas going - they are what you should be ruminating - on the good things that you will do when you are well and good things that you can do even while you are sick. A mental inventory of good things will keep the bad ideas away from the front of your mind.

Wishing you very well,
Carmie

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

HI D: I hope you are starting to feel a bit better. I would keep that Monday appt. As you write, it is time to find out what is needed to get you well. Hang in there, and keep the faith.

As for the wheezing, I have mild asthma, so I use a puffer too once in awhile and it works well for me.

I'm sorry you are going through so much right now. You can do this D. Remember we are all here cheering you on. Nevermind the negatives from other people. You know you have the power within you. Get rid of any doubts, they are not serving any purpose except to make you feel agitated and frightened of unknowns. If it's not 100% true, .....you know, the 10 questions. Use as many coping skills as you can to get you through this.

Saying a prayer for good results on Monday,

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I am sorry I did not write right back. I wish I had more positive news too tell. I am very nervous about my appt Monday, I am afraid to go and afraid not too, I have been having a lot of panic and wheezing, I want to go back to ER but my husband said, we have done that three times and they just made things worse, I dont know if they made things worse but they did not help.

I melted down yesterday when my friend called me, I was in the mist of a panic attack and wheezing terribly, she was not sympathtic, she said "that if God wants you too suffer more, there is a reason and you must just suffer more" that about floored me and sent me too bed for the day and night, I have suffered so much for a year with panic and depression and now for five weeks with this physcial ailment that has brought back the panic so bad, I think I have suffered, her telling me that really upset me, it like saying "God is not going to help you" I dont want to talk to her anymore, her negativity made me worse than ever.

I did not walk too my primary yesterday, It was pouring rain and lightning and thundering, so I could not go and my husband could not get off work, I really wanted to go, this constant wheezing has got me so scared and I have lost my voice completely, there is a bad problem and the doctors cannot find it, and that is scary, if they do not know I sure do not know.

I am on day five of the antibotics, I am not coughing as bad but the wheezing is worse than ever, its when I inhale and not exhale, has anyone ever wheezed on inhaling?? I know SUNNY mentioned she did, if you are there Sunny did it last a month? and was it inhaling? I know there is a problem and I want too get well, but I cannot get a dignosis, I hope the ENT doctor can help me, and I pray its not something terrible. I am sorry I am in a bad way, I have been so sick for so long I am losing faith and hope I can get well, seeing three doctors and a nurse should of helped and it did not and that is what is scaring me, they are professionals, I am so afraid I am dying and no one will help me! I am sorry if I sound negative, everyone around me has "given up" even the doctors it seems, I dont know where too turn, I have a teeny little ember of hope I can get my life back, my Aunt who has been wonderful says "Deb if you can get too a GOOD doctor and therapist too help you this can all be turned around" I am hanging on too that. I just want too walk out of this and back into life.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Deb,

I'm sure you see nobody's given up on you. Sometimes the closest thing we can muster is less negativity instead of what another might see as positivity.

I wonder how many people would have survived your situation.

Hang in there

Spiritual grace is the acceptance of our cross...

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Debora: Just a little note to say that I am sending you all sorts of the positivity and strength, wishing you well today. I was really proud of you for making those difficult phone calls. You are much closer to your goals! Keep treating yourself well - you deserve happiness and peace and to be yourself!

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