Hi Carmie,
My broadband has been acting up all weekend, I keep getting booted off my computer I hope I can post this correctly. I do understand when you said how anxious you're son is to get on the computer I have that too here my son loves his computer!
You are probably watching the SuperBowl. I am staying kind of clear of my guys right now, they are eating hot wings and the smell is bothering me. I had a mixed weekend, we had a garage sale, I thought throwing myself into a project would "distract" myself from myself but it actually caused more stress! We only made about thirty dollars and it was exhausting and tiring and in the process I lost my prescription glasses! I hope they did not fall in one of the boxes and someone bought them for fifty cents or something, I tore the house apart looking for them, they cost a hundred dollars, I am going to call the optomologist tommorow and see if I can get a replacement, I really need my glasses to see, I am due next month for a follow-up and I am afraid they will just tell me to come in for another exam, and its hard because they close at five and I dont have transportation till after six pm, I hope they will just order them, last exam I was very nervous and got sick afterwards, I have been very upset about these glasses and my hubby is mad because I lost them, I am upset too, they are necessary.
I do not know if I can handle, if I can even get a ride, to TWO appts next week, I wanted to go to ER to have a transvaginal ultrasound because of the ovarian cancer symptoms, I guess its better to get it done at ER than a GYN so if I hear "bad news" if I pass out or freak out or my pressure sky rockets I will be at a place where they can help me stabalize, I am so afraid to go, and I am terrified the results will be bad, and I have to do it alone, I guess I will get my glasses first then worry about the woman problem, one thing at a time I guess, I need to do bills and need too see, I am using old reading glasses right now, I am very nervous today, Carmie I am sorry, I guess its shows through my writing, I am trying too calm down..
Thank you for writing those symptoms due to anxiety, that helped me Carmie, I do have most of them, how I wish I NEVER EVER read bleching and gas and lower stomach pain can be colon or ovarian cancer, I have to be very very careful what I read, Somehow I must muster the courage to go to an appt, but I know its going to be very hard, the body symptoms have been bad this weekend, nausea, headache, eyeaches, stomach pain etc.....usually they hit me one at a time now I got the them all at the same time, and yes I know the nerves I making them worse, fear of the future and unknown and of a sickness that I will have too battle alone, to be sick is horrible but not having anyone nearby for help and support is frightning.
I am going to do some PMR now and try too calm down, my therapist comes tommorow but I dont know what help he can offer, my Aunt said he cannot really "pull the fear and symptoms out of me" would'nt that be nice? a magic wand but I know thats not possible. I am sorry I sound so nervous, how am I going to handle a terminal illness when I cannot even handle panic? I think that scares me that I will not be strong enough. I have to start thinking positive, hard with all these symptoms.
I am glad you had a good run Carmie, and beat down the anxiety, and how wonderful you got through the meeting!! How awesome and great, good for you! You are getting better and I am so happy, I hope I can get better too like you and Sunny and Davit and all the rest of the wonderful people on this site!!