Hi Donna,
Thank you for writing me back I had trouble getting online again something about the broadband I finally got online. You and I are the same age and that helps knowing someone going through this panic anxiety thing along with the change of life, sometimes I really feel like I will not survive it, like I am going to just die but I know that is negative and scary and I try so hard not to.
Before I felt like I was going to have a heart attack or stroke now I am just "convinced" I have ovarian or colon or bladder cancer, I have constant pain in my lower tummy, but I do not know if its from the anxiety and nerves or something worse, I use to go to doctors all the time now I am afraid too go, I am agorophobic and hardly leave the house, I will make an appt then cancel it, I know I should see a GYN I am just so afraid what I will hear, if I hear cancer I know I will have a complete nervous breakdown, I know that sound awful, a few years back I had horrible upper stomach pain for months and months and it went away I am hoping this goes away too, I read that passing gas a lot and belching is a sign of ovarian cancer and now I am terrified, but its also the symptoms of lots of other things, IBS anxiety etc....so I am trying not to think morbidly.
I have been taking klonopin for about five years, I started on half a tablet a day, then a whole, now I take a half during the day and a whole at night, never more than 1mg a day, I guess in five years that is a very low dose, the pharmisist says its a low dose, my nurse said I can take three a day but I am scared too, one at night and half during the day is all I will take, it does not completely take away the anxiety but it takes the edge off, at least I stop shaking and crying, but I do NOT want to rely on a pill too do that, but right now I need something, I do not drink at all, I do not want too take more klonopin if I can help it, I use to be on Paxil and it worked for awhile, now for some reason I can not tolerate them, but most people can, I did take paxil and klonopin together for awhile, about a year the phamisist and Dr. said it was safe, now I just take klonopin.
Its good you ask questions about you're meds, you are informed and that is good! and I do think you are very brave I wish I could work, do you pray ever? I just ask God to fill me with peace and calmness and good health, that is ALL I want and my family, its good you go to Doctors I wish I could, my husband take eight medications he is not in good health and I have a special needs son and life can be hard, but I want to live, if I could just get rid of the fear. Did you ever get lower tummy aches from stress?? My period is over so I am worried why I am still hurting unless I am just focusing so much on it I am causing the pain from my mind, I hope that is it and nothing else, I dont think I could take anymore Donna, I am barely hanging on now, I just hope that life gets better for all of us on this site, is so good to talk with people here that care, it is.
Thank you for writing me I am glad you made it through the night, I too get afraid to be alone, not so much as before but still I do that is why I sleep a lot, do you sleep a lot? I think I do just to get some peace, nothing hurts why I sleep. I you and I get through this menopause quickly! I have no hot flashes yet but they are probably coming. Thank you Donna.