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Having to be home alone tonight

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi. Just wanted to say, Debora, I am so glad that Donna has joined us. She has such good information to share. I pray for both of you and all of us to find peace in our hearts.

It's so important to focus on the fact that your symptoms really could be indicators of IBS or other less threatening and more treatable conditions. Sometimes your symptoms get worse with stress or dairy and those are good signs that it could be IBS. I think it would be great, Debora, if you could make a post later today in Success Stories "Made an appointment". I know that it is a big step for you to do so but I hope that you will find the strength inside you.

When I am in my panic cycle, I focus on the past and the future more than the present. I think that's how I get into the cycle, really. I regret choices I've made and I worry about what might happen. That's when I realize I have to come back to the present. The present is my guaranteed time on earth when I can create experiences for myself, my family, and my friends. I have to remind myself is that each day is a gift. Every moment I have an opportunity to make my day count. These moments are right now and we have a limited amount of them.

I am hopeful about your next post. I am sending you lots of positivity from Maine. Thanks for giving me a chance to reflect on these things - it helps me start my day better!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Donna,

Thank you for writing me back I had trouble getting online again something about the broadband I finally got online. You and I are the same age and that helps knowing someone going through this panic anxiety thing along with the change of life, sometimes I really feel like I will not survive it, like I am going to just die but I know that is negative and scary and I try so hard not to.

Before I felt like I was going to have a heart attack or stroke now I am just "convinced" I have ovarian or colon or bladder cancer, I have constant pain in my lower tummy, but I do not know if its from the anxiety and nerves or something worse, I use to go to doctors all the time now I am afraid too go, I am agorophobic and hardly leave the house, I will make an appt then cancel it, I know I should see a GYN I am just so afraid what I will hear, if I hear cancer I know I will have a complete nervous breakdown, I know that sound awful, a few years back I had horrible upper stomach pain for months and months and it went away I am hoping this goes away too, I read that passing gas a lot and belching is a sign of ovarian cancer and now I am terrified, but its also the symptoms of lots of other things, IBS anxiety etc....so I am trying not to think morbidly.

I have been taking klonopin for about five years, I started on half a tablet a day, then a whole, now I take a half during the day and a whole at night, never more than 1mg a day, I guess in five years that is a very low dose, the pharmisist says its a low dose, my nurse said I can take three a day but I am scared too, one at night and half during the day is all I will take, it does not completely take away the anxiety but it takes the edge off, at least I stop shaking and crying, but I do NOT want to rely on a pill too do that, but right now I need something, I do not drink at all, I do not want too take more klonopin if I can help it, I use to be on Paxil and it worked for awhile, now for some reason I can not tolerate them, but most people can, I did take paxil and klonopin together for awhile, about a year the phamisist and Dr. said it was safe, now I just take klonopin.

Its good you ask questions about you're meds, you are informed and that is good! and I do think you are very brave I wish I could work, do you pray ever? I just ask God to fill me with peace and calmness and good health, that is ALL I want and my family, its good you go to Doctors I wish I could, my husband take eight medications he is not in good health and I have a special needs son and life can be hard, but I want to live, if I could just get rid of the fear. Did you ever get lower tummy aches from stress?? My period is over so I am worried why I am still hurting unless I am just focusing so much on it I am causing the pain from my mind, I hope that is it and nothing else, I dont think I could take anymore Donna, I am barely hanging on now, I just hope that life gets better for all of us on this site, is so good to talk with people here that care, it is.

Thank you for writing me I am glad you made it through the night, I too get afraid to be alone, not so much as before but still I do that is why I sleep a lot, do you sleep a lot? I think I do just to get some peace, nothing hurts why I sleep. I you and I get through this menopause quickly! I have no hot flashes yet but they are probably coming. Thank you Donna.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Hi Debora,

OK after I just spent forever typing up one of my usual long winded replies I'm notorious for doing only to be kicked out, I will just try this time for a simple reply :)

I don't mind you asking at all. My doctor wrote out the presc. for Klonopin a month ago for 0.5 mg. taking 1/2 a tablet twice a day as needed. He also wrote out a presc. for Metoprolol ER Succinte which is a beta blocker to help with blood pressure and lower heart rate. Bottle says to help with anxiety which is a big joke cause it doesn't. Even pharmacist says it doesn't. It amazes me how doctors will make up as they go along what the meds. they prescribe will treat.....just add to the list, it will cure all.....LOL. I always, always check with the pharmacist as they know more about the drugs than the doctors. I was having to constantly call the pharmacist to ask about how far to space apart my meds. since I'm also on Hydrocodone for the chronic pain from my back surgery of last year. It's been a challenge trying to space this stuff apart plus having my work schedule. The metoprolol really hasn't done much and after a bad day yesterday of it not even bringing down my HR or help with the anxiety, I had to suffer at work with only taking a Tylenol for pain (which did nothing) so I could wait for the time to take my Klonopin. Can't take that with the Hydrocodone and I needed my anxiety to come down more. With fast HR and high BP, I did not want a 3rd episode of having the paramedics come out to work, especially with our site mgr. from CA in this week. That woman had it out for me year before last and she kept trying to find ways to get rid of me so last thing I need is for her to see another one of my panic attack episodes. I know you said I am brave to be working but "brave" is an undersatement. The fact that I still have a job and even want to try to be there considering what all I've been through....must be a glutton for punishment. Actually just trying to hold onto a job in a world with severe economic instability and double digit unemployment rates.

I'm going to my doctor tomorrow as followup and plan on telling him the Metoprolol doesn't work and since he is already going to write out another presc. for the Klonopin, will ask him if he can up the dose from 1/2 to full tablet. At least with off the Metoprolol, I can feel safe to start taking the Paxil he prescribed the week before. I refused to take it when the pharmacist consulted with me when I went to pick it up and said it could possibly interract with the Metoprolol I was taking with heart palpitations. I just thought great, just what I need with already suffering from daily anxiety so I wouldn't take them. Called the doctor about that and nurse said that doctor said he didn't know why pharmacist told me that but to go ahead and take it....duh. Even on the website drugs.com it shows a moderate interraction between the 2 drugs. This is why I prefer to ask the pharmacists as well as the doctor.....they know more about the drugs. Don't get me wrong, we should ask the doctor about our meds. but when they start prescribing all kinds of things where some could interract or a drug that doesn't even originally treat what they diagnose you with, it's time to check with the pharmacist. At one time I felt I could trust my primary doctor, been going to him for awhile, but now I'm beginning to wonder if sometime in the future I may need to be looking elsewhere. Obviously not now since he is only one prescribing what is needed for my anxiety.

OK, still made this one wordy but answers your question. Just a word of advise from someone here who is tapering off an opiate based presc. med, I've been on for a little over 7 months......withdrawals are no fun at all and one of withdrawal symptoms is anxiety so need to go with taking Klonopin with precaution. That drug is listed on detox websites just as well as my Hydrocodone, but they do state giving patients something for anxiety but don't know what it is. I know that once I'm completely off the Hydro. and withdrawal period for that is up, I will then need to start tapering down some from the Klonopin. Doctors don't bother to tell patients of long term effects of these drugs, just that they want to get you off them. Long term effects of taking opiates is that the body stops producing it's own natural painkillers of endorphins because it now recognizes the opiate as the painkiller. So the long process of tapering down not only involves withdrawals but also increased pain as my body is slowly starting to return to normal and start producing endorphins again for the pain. I told my PM doctor on Mon. when asking for the next, and lowest dosage, that I want to get to the point of being on a non-narcotic pain med., maybe an NSAID. Yes, there are risks with that as well but no addiction or physical dependancy.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

HI Donna,

I was wondering how much klonopin you take daily? I am not trying to pry or be nosy I was just wondering what dosage helps you daily, if you do not mind me asking. Thank you for all you're help and advice, I am glad you are doing better, thank you.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Thanks Sunny. They don't seem to work too well during a full blown panic attack but I was spared of having one of those and the breathing seemed to work fine this time.

Donna

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi ncladyfromva: welcome to the site. Glad you made it through the night :-)

I use those breathing and relaxation techniques too.

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Woohoo, I actually made it through the night. Then found out yesterday that my roommate was staying another night at her nephew's house so there I was facing another night alone. I took a Klonopin before bedtime which helped me to relax and fell asleep. Woke up shortly after experiencing anxiety and heart palpitations but was able to get them under control with my breathing technique and just thinking things through to calm myself down. I also found out today that it's that time of month for me so that probably increased things. I'm in menopause so nothing since Nov. so just having this happen was probably overwhelming for my hormones. I have always (even before menopause) tended to feel a bit anxious prior to my period so maybe by tomorrow or next day it will subside some.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Thanks Josie. I actually soaked in the tub this morning. I have to soak in epsom or dead seal salt daily for my pain anyway but earlier this year I started getting into aromotherapy so I now add a few drops of lavender oil to my bath as it has a calming effect. On the weekends, like this morning I will treat myself to a full mineral milk bath, put the laptop on the counter to play some relaxing music and just lay back and relax and soak for 20 mins. The reading sounds like a good option. Have a book by my bedside called "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer I haven't finished.

I like the idea of the earplugs ;) I actually have some but I usually fall asleep with sounds of relaxing music from my laptop. Maybe I could use my earbuds for the laptop and hope they don't fall out during the night :)

Donna

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Donna,

Welcome once again!

Do continue to post with us and ask for assistance and support! As you can already see if your previous posts the members are very helpful and understanding. We are all here to assist and support once another.

Take this alone time to recover some you time!

Relax in the tub, clean, read, stretch, write a letter. You do need to sleep so do help yourself along with a nice relaxing shower or bath or read a few chapters in bed.

Try investing in ear plugs to blog out that dog!

Josie, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 28

Hi everyone,

I am new to the site and forum here and I am so glad I stumbled across this site. The only people I have to reach out to are my therapist I just started seeing a week ago and that is bi-weekly. Other than that, I have my massage therapist who comes to my house weekly and she has been very encouraging to me, both with my pain issues and anxiety. I suffer from not only anxiety but chronic pain from a failed back surgery in June of last year. Those are the only 2 people currently in my life I see and talk to. I have a roommate but she is disabled and stays in her room almost the entire day. All of whom I thought were my friends pretty much walked out of my life last year when too much time went by and I was just unable to go out and socialize with them, go on trips, invite them to my house for dinners.......the typical "fair weather friends". So it's nice to have an outlet, other than Facebook, of people to communcate with and have/give support. Only so much I would want to post on Facebook on my anxiety as there is nobody there who really understands.

Even though my roommate sticks to her room mostly, she does come out on rare occasion to talk. We talked more when she first moved in but as time went by she retrieved to her room more. She is disabled and suffers from depression and sadly doesn't realize that isolating herself to her room to sleep and watch TV is just adding onto the depression. Nothing wrong with watch the telly from time to time but we as humans were created to have relationships and companionship. Anyway, she has left for the night to go to her nephew's house to spend time with his wife and their newborn daughter they had last week so here I am alone. I already had a major panic attack this past Fri. which landed me in the ER and had the paramedics here at my house last night due to having some withdrawal symptoms/anxiety from where I've been trying to wean myself off the pain meds. It's not like I've never stayed in my house alone before. I've had roommates the majority since getting the house but still times in between getting someone new to move in or a roommate being gone for nights at a time. Just that my panic attacks I first had 20 years ago that were major then, but have been kept under control until about 3 months ago are back again and what seems to be even worse than they were back then. So grateful at least my son is grown and don't have to deal with taking care of him as I somehow managed back then, and was even engaged back then too so I dealt with a dating relationship as well. I've not slept since waking up 6:00 a.m. yesterday morning (thanks to the neighbor's dog barking to wake me up so early) and I didn't get enough sleep that night due to trying to recover from ER visit. Bloodwork turned out fine....another diagnosis of anxiety/stress. I'm trying to not let my mind focus on being alone as being negative, but it is hard. Just started the CBT so I'm trying to go back and re-read the lessons I've been through. Just hoping that once I take my Klonopin tonight, that along with sleep deprivation will override all anxiety to where I can fall into a good deep sleep.

Donna

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Having to be home alone tonight