Hi, I'm new here. My nicname is Nestkeeper.
Almost five years ago my appendix ruptured. I had my first panic attack when I was very near death.
Since then I have lost several loved ones. My best friend (heart attack age approx. 48), then my sister (liver failure age 42), followed by my mom (breast cancer age 69), and then my other sister (drug abuse age approx. 48), then another close friend (heart attack during elective surgery).
I also lost my father on Christmas Day (cancer age 60) in 1999.
The holidays are especially excruciating for me.
I panic several times a day. Sometimes I panic because I'm afraid I'll panic and I feel like I'm bringing it on myself. I fear dying, but oddly I death, just the process.
I'm on several drugs to control depression and anxiety.
I'm looking forward to some relief. Glad I found this site.
Sincerely,
Nestkeeper