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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Time out is now in overtime


12 years ago 0 59 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for your support and suggestions they are very much appreciated, the problem is I live in England and he lives in Ireland, 200 miles apart, whereas I am more than willing to compromise, he seems less willing, since my last post things have escalated and I now fear all is over.

I have come so far with this program now I feel the ground has opened up and swallowed me.
12 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello museluver,
 
I can see that this would be a tense time for you. Relationships are so complex that we have an entire session (session 11) on relationships and session 12 on resolving disputes. Read through these sessions, do the homework you may be able to find something there that will help you manage this situation.
 
On another note the holidays can be tricky for being able to spend time with everyone. Your fellow members have provided some good options or suggestions. Hopefully you will be able to find a good balance and enjoy the holidays as peacefully as possible.
 
 

Samantha, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I likes Red's suggestions.  May I add another?  How about you go to your family's Christmas Eve (I realize it may not be the dinner and other family members attending) and spend Christmas Day with him and his family?  Just to show him that you care and you will be there for him.  It may help him see that you care very much for him, no matter what.
Problem here is, we don't know how far you live from either, so might not be feasible.

I remember my partner and I used to alternate, one year my family, one year his.  Especially when you have children and the grandparents want to see them.  Lucky for me my family also gathered on New Year's Day so I didn't really miss seeing them during holiday time if it was his family year.

Good luck, hope it goes well for you.

Sunny


12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
museluver

Please don't take this wrong or critical. Some times those that can have too because the other just can't. I understand the frustration. Don't give up if there is even a small hope that this will pass. My advice would be to not ignore even if he ignores you. He might think you don't care. It is so easy to misinterpret under these conditions. 
Even cats that scratch need some one to cuddle and love them.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
museluver,
 
Is it possible that the two of you could take some time out for each other and say celebrate Christmas together on Christmas eve..instead of Christmas day..Maybe a nice dinner together at home that evening and such..Just pick a day and make it your special Christmas together. If this doesn't work than maybe the two of you can go as a couple together to each others family functions..and let them know you will be spending time with both families this year..A couple hours with each of the families or maybe one on Christmas eve and one on Christmas day..This are just some ideas to consider while the two of you try to figure this out..
 
Red...
12 years ago 0 59 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
For the last 3 days my partner has been having his "time out", by this I mean he has gone to sleeping in the spare room and is being Impasse with me, when I suggest we talk he digs in and won't reply. I have just tried to have a discussion with him, he has now taken his time out, out of the house and to the shops, didn't even ask if I wanted to come along.
I am getting to the stage now where dissolution seems the only option as he will not sit down and discuss what is happening in our relationship.
When we do talk he does the whole kitchen sink, counterpunching and digging in and I am getting nowhere quickly. We do love each other tremendously, he has just been put onto prozac for his depression and I am trying to cope with his mood swings just as he did mine, but I don't recall mine ever being this bad. We have the Christmas season coming up and once again I will be spending it with my family whilst he goes to his own, he will not even consider compromise. I am not being passive-aggressive, I am looking at this from both our points of view.

I  really need some words of wisdom here please, since losing my husband 9 years ago I thought I would be single forever, I have been with my partner for 4 1/2 years and in that time we have never spent a holiday celebration together, I don't want to give up on him as he is a wonderful loving man & I love him dearly. I am not afraid of being alone again, so that is not the reason I am staying with him, I just need to see some compromise on his side, as I'm the only one who seems to be giving anything to "Us" at the moment.
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