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Memory: Something to cherish or not to obsess about?


12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It's not about surviving the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain. 

You can not go back. You will never be the way you were, good or bad. You will learn how to live with this to the point it will no longer affect you. You will be a new person, a different person, a better person but you will never be the same as before. You have too much knowledge. Once you know what panic attacks are how can you forget other than to learn how to not have them.

Even a broken leg is not the same once it is healed but it doesn't stop you from using it and you don't think about it all day long. Do the same with your panic thoughts. They will still be there you just won't let them affect you.

Hugs, That is pretty much how it is. The present influences the future but it also becomes the past which influences how we feel at the present. Memory dictates every action. 

The emotions and thoughts needed for survival still have priority. Unfortunately they are all negative. If you are just surviving your world will be negative. You need to learn to dance to offset it. Happy times and happy memories are as good of a way to do this as any. 

Davit. 

I am aware that the world around us is getting more difficult and more negative and often things are not what we want or can do anything about but perception is still ours. We can accept this and choose to find a little peace and happiness to build on or we can accept that much in life sucks and let it drag us down. Yes I know life sucks a lot of the time, I just choose to not let it rule me. 


12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,
So our goal it make happy memories, or make the most of the present, since it's all we really have
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Imagine the trauma for the people in a war when it ends. They go through the same thing. They should be happy but they have lost the forced routine and now have time to think all the things you think. Lost time, wasted time. I do this too with wasted experiences. I should be happy with the good times but I seem to bring up all the times life almost ended instead of thinking how lucky I am to have these experiences and how lucky I was to have the good times. I do miss them. My only regret is that there are too few pictures. It is hard for a cripple to imagine paddling a canoe for five hours or climbing mountains, but I did do these things. Yes it bothers me that I will never do them again. This is why I have moved on to things I can do so I will keep building memories. I also enjoy other peoples accomplishments. Like the lights in the crab apple tree that I did not put out and I know I could not have done. We went out in a snow storm yesterday just to see the lights when we came back.
Happy is a state of mind it has little to do with how you lived. Good memories help.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 517 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs, 
I know what you mean. I often curse my traumatic and negative memories because they take up the space for the good ones. And sometimes the good ones get me sad that they've ended. I often obsess about those negative things and become angry because of it. 
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi V,
Just about anything will pop into my mind, and it seems I can see it negatively.  I think I'll have to continue daily core belief affirmations, to get into a more positive frame of mind.
 
Work is still one area where I still have awful nightmares, but surely that has to diminish.  Hence the desire to wish to forget.
 
But can memory be selective, as you suggest, so I don't forget the good things like being on a beach, versus a toxic interractions with colleagues who had their own issues?  
12 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs4U,
 
I imagine a selective memory may be what most would want instead of having no memory(!)  Otherwise, you are right, we would miss great memories of friends and family! 
What is it about the past that you obsess about?   How does it impact yourself today?

Vincenza, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

I wonder how others feel about never having a memory?  I often obsess about the past, but wouldn't we miss the great memories of friends and family if we lost our memories?


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