It is called passive aggressive and those that have it react the same way you do although some that are stronger can keep the anger going for days. But it always starts the same way by trying not to argue or fight. Always with good intentions but always ending the same way.
It is far better to clear the air even if it means an argument. No matter how bad the day, never go to bed angry. At the least agree to talk it out the next day.
It is so ironic that I happened to read this discussion right now because I had a sudden anger moment last night lol. I was walking my dog and came inside to find that a neighbor that has been harassing me for several months was harassing a friend that had come over. She was trying to start a fight with us on the false pretense that we were being too loud when I am the quietest condo in the building. I reacted to her by using diffusing words like "Ok" and "alright" even though I was literally biting my lips so as not to unleash all of the things that she had done to me on her...
It really depends what the sudden anger is about. Usually my sudden anger erupts when someone is doing something unjustified and unfair and refuses to stop what they are doing/saying. It takes a while to crank me up but once it's there, it's there. I tend to deal with it by using diffusing words to the person and internalizing my anger until I can get to a safe outlet like wii fit boxing or playing my guitar. Anger can be a healthy thing as it gives us that burst of energy that we may need to adjust a situation and make changes to set things straight. It can also be very unhealthy when we turn on people or when we internalize it and do not have a healthy outlet for it.
Anger can kill you if you let it stay in your system and fester for too long. Being angry physically releases negative thoughts and hormones in our brains that poisons our bodies and causes stress when gone unchecked.
This is an interesting topic for me as I have had issues with soemthing like it. I wont call it sudden cuz usually its soemthing that has built up for months and months and I just suddenly cant handle it anymore and let go. Of course this is not all that trully horific for others around me because I usually only get about 3 angry sentences off at whomever triggered me to go off before i desolve into a hyperventalating puddle of tears huddled in the nearest corner of the room. I simply have not been able to express my anger without falling almost immediatly into a major panic attack. This has actually caused a great deal of problems. It means a lot of small issues that could easily have been fixed by a simple say spousel spat ended up instead with me avoiding conflict and months later snapping my husbands head off then retreating to a corner in a full panic without ever being able to fully communicate exactly what had me upset or why and leaving a very concerned and confused husband trying to comfort me.
Find the courage to end relationships where people continually ignore your needs. It is hard, but it is harder I think to keep living with these people and being frustrated by their mixed messages (i.e. saying they care about you only to ignore you when you express yourself). In those types of relatinships, anger is a sane response. Anger to me is relational, it rarely manifests itself unless it is a response to being ignored.
There are a lot of apples in the world and they make me angry.
My outbursts of anger are seldom spontaneous. They are usually in retaliation or because someone is doing something or something is happening over and over and I'm trying to ignore it.
It is true that we do not know what the person with the anger is thinking.
Take the case of two people talking. One person keeps presuming they know what the other person is about to say and cuts them off. Now that person has two choices. Get the other persons attention or just stop talking. Unfortunately stopping talking doesn't work so it usually ends by the one person getting angry. If some one is angry I look at myself first to be sure it is not something I did. But God help them if it is just them looking for an argument. I once lived with a person who played devils advocate. She would argue black was white just to make conversation. And I doubt she even realized she did it. I don't believe in the normal person there is such a thing as spontaneous anger. I believe there is an underlying reason, some nagging person or situation. Take shopping. If almost every time you go out you end up dealing with some annoying person or situation you will be set up to be angry even before it happens. And like everything else negative it will pick at you till you notice it or find it or use it.
Amazing how one little negative thought can destroy so much positive.
I too go do something else unrelated, usually in my shop, even if all I'm doing is cleaning.
Anger is best dealt with if it is aimed at a person or it will keep coming back and colour your whole day and world. But if it is just one isolate event I tend to ignore it. I'm a big boy, I know people get angry just like they get sad too.
Wow, I am really happy to see this question. This does happen to me from time to time and I really surprise myself. I am grateful for Sunny's response and any others who can offer suggestions. This is something that I would love to resolve.
Hi Ashley: rarely have outbursts, however if I feel anger coming - i can tell because sometimes i have sarcastic thoughts in my mind - I'll go to another room. Usually I can think about it there without saying something I may regret and make a situation worse, or I find something else to do and the anger goes away. So I suppose I remove myself from the situation for awhile, go do something constructive instead.
I know some who have outbursts which seem to be uncontrollable. I don't know what they are feeling, just seems to burst and hit anyone who is near. It's true that these outbursts are scary for those around. I've often wondered why they are that way. Seems that they were like this when they were very young too so thinking of a buildup of life stresses doesn't seem to be the answer. I still wonder why some are like this.
Sudden anger is unpleasant and scary. Members and
family alike feel helpless for a little while, amazed (and maybe
fearful) at what is happening, at how easy anger rises. It can take a
couple of weeks and maybe one memorable outburst to really alert you to
stop and take an inventory of sorts. As soon as you can, develop
adequate strategies. It may take a while to get everything right, but
everyone has to begin somewhere.
Remember your mind is going through many changes and it will
take time for the adjustment. This is a positive change in lifestyle and
being prepared for it is essential.
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
