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Took a Hard Fall

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

If it is a tore muscle then I have tore it some more last night because it is very sore today. One conciliation is that it is only one leg. Lab numbers are good and nothing shows on the xray. Not that that means anything, I once had a broken leg for two weeks before it showed. Now that hurt to walk on. I spent two months with a cast on.

I don't mind being alone, I have been for over a month now and have three more days to go. Nothing much I can do right now anyway.

I think you need a hobby to keep you occupied.

I just took a couple of muscle relaxants to see if that helps. They are making me dizzy. I better get some supper before it gets bad. I have some real good spaghetti sauce with lots of garlic and one cinnamon bun left. Missed out on coffee today and now it is too late. Yuk.

There might be snow on the ground tomorrow. I guess you don't get that. Better than mosquitoes I think. Most of my spaghetti sauce is from stuff I grew. Years ago even the meat would be. Now that is a good hobby. Growing stuff.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Davit,

How was you're Doctor's appt? What did he say? I hope you made it alright, I understand the fear of falling, since I fell in my bathroom I litterally tiptoe in it and so careful, my friend fell a few weeks ago and hurt her wrist and my mother-in-law fell last week and sprained her thumb and I fell and hurt my knee, lucky that the injuries for all were not too serious, it comes in "threes" so maybe the falling is over for us all, lets hope, Please let me know about core beliefs and thoughts, I'm curious.

I too am fearing being alone this week, I am not feeling well {I am going to post it on the ladies forum probably more appropriate, men dont wanna hear about those things!} I am going to be alone the rest of the week and I am sure Sat and Sunday they have plans for basketball and haunted houses etc.....So I will be going solo, and yes I am kind of scared, when you are weak and sick and scared its so hard to be alone, not they are much help but just the fact that someone is here is a little comforting, I use to LOVE being alone, now I dread it, this disorder has taken so much of my independence, I just hope I can get through it! Please let me know how you are feeling Davit, I hope everything went very well for you today.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora.

Every thing we do in our life past, present and future is controlled by things in our memory. So you can see that a person of fifty has more things to choose from than a child. The more of these things that are similar become core beliefs. Good or bad but none neutral. They have to be one way or the other to control our thoughts and actions. Short term thoughts that are based on these core beliefs are core thoughts. I won't go into the other types of thoughts in memory because they are not as controlling as these two. The strongest core beliefs are ones that have been built from early childhood and added to as we grow and age. Two identical children can have separate beliefs depending on how they were treated as children and later.

Twins that marry different types of spouses will have different core beliefs. If one child was Daddies favourite and another was Mommies they will have different beliefs. I'm telling you this so you know why you are different from your siblings if you are. It is not because there is anything wrong with you. In fact there is nothing technically wrong with you, you just have negative thoughts controlling your life. We all have different tolerances to core beliefs too so what controls one person might be ignored by another.

For most people core beliefs surround performance, looks and intelligence. But they can be anything.

At some time you have built a core belief that says you are going to get sick. If it has been around for a while it will be strong and you will believe it even if you don't want to. When you think about getting sick or you think about something that is going around you create a core thought based on the core belief that says you will get sick even if there is no basis or proof for this. This is not short term or present thinking that you can shrug off. This is core thoughts based on core belief influencing your short term present thought. The unfortunate thing is that short term present thinking if repeated reinforces the core belief. When these thoughts are not good they are called negative and the core belief is called a negative core belief. When they are good thoughts they are called positive. You can not remove either from your memory but you can decide which one will be on top. In other words more accessible and the one to control your thoughts and actions. Do you understand this? Any questions? I'm here to help with anything you don't understand.

Even if you do everything right the negative core belief is still available and the more times you use it the stronger it gets. This is why it is taking longer this time. And next time will be even longer unless you bury it so far that you have trouble getting to it and unless you build the skills needed to stop looking.

That is what CBT is for. CBT is changing unwanted thought (negative) for wanted. (positive)

That is changing thoughts of "I'm going to get sick" to more realistic to start with such as " there is no proof that I will" Or, "I might but it won't be that bad" Or better yet "I didn't last time so I'm just worrying for nothing"

CBT needs some help too. When the thought or the chance of getting sick passes you can't just move on to the next thing. You need to use that to reinforce or build if you don't already have one a positive core belief or you are still leaving the negative one to accessible.

So when the knee is better you have to keep going back to it and looking at it and saying, "I was wrong it is and was okay, I worried for nothing". You have to do this over and over. This counters the tendency to worry that you are getting from the negative core belief and builds a positive one to bury it.

Same with the mosquitoes. "It was a legit concern but I didn't get West Nile so I worried for nothing" Repeat it over and over. Repeat it when you start thinking about something else even.

I'm not saying you should drop all concern, I'm saying you need to stop it before it becomes worry.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora.

More later, I have more questions and a few thoughts. Do you know anything about core beliefs and thoughts?

I have to go to the doctor today. It is the first day that I can walk good enough to chance it. I too fear things when I'm sick. I don't want to fall in the parking lot. I have home support helping me at home but once I'm in the car I am on my own.

I'm starting the day with happy thoughts to see if that mood will carry through the whole day.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Davit,

Sorry I did not write sooner today, its been kind of a bad day and I am trying very hard to remain positive as I know you and Sunny and all the others would want. My "woman problem" arrived which is never a good time for me, I notice I kind of "fall apart" during it because of the pain and other symptoms, also my knee is very sore and throbbing and I have had a toothache all day and feel very very tired and blue! I just keep trying to tell myself "this too will pass" I wish I could move up the days to Saturday or Sunday when my woman thing is over, but I know you cannot so I just have to deal with it for awhile I guess.

You had asked me if anyone in my family had my health phobia's and honestly, not really, they get concerned when they are sick but not too my extent at all, my brothers and Mom, when she was alive had "random" panic attacks, but not the disorder I have, it was not everyday, and I am glad they did NOT suffer like I did, but I see there is a genetic link to all this. My Mom and Dad never instilled in me to be a hypocrondriac thats what I do not understand, noone in my family has my health anxiety, my Mom was a worrier but all the women in my family were, when I was sick she would put me too bed with hot tea and soup and let me rest, but most Mothers DO do that when their kids are sick so I do not think that caused it, and my Dad was very very strong and stoic, he always kept going when he got sick, he hated Doctors, I think my fear of Doctors stem from that maybe but most of it is I feel Doctors never really helped me, I mean if I needed antibotics or a shot or something but not with the emotional problems in fact they shy away from it and kind of shun it, if you know what I mean, its always like that.

My Moms' worring perhaps made me anxious and nervous, but I left home at 19 and made my own way and was alright, this only happened ten years ago, I did not really have this disorder early in life, later in life, maybe it would of been easier to have it earlier at least I would have youth on my side and I know that helps sometimes, they say as you get older you get wiser and I so want that too be true, I seem to get weaker and I dont want that. I dont know why I got health anxiety and my other 3 siblings did not, especially since I lived at home the least amount of time, I dont understand it, I dont know why I am like this, I wish I could figure it out, it would be wonderful to live without fear worry about sickness and dying, a better life.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

See you can do it. This is much more positive with your concerns staying concerns and not running over to uncontrolled worry. This is CBT. Concerns are okay. They are like a positive way to get rid of the worry, because they are realistic. All through this program you will come across things that can be negative or positive. Some so close together that they seem the same.

When you get to core beliefs look for things like your mother telling you to be careful playing because you will fall and scratch yourself and get infection. Or dress warm or you will get your death of cold. These things seem innocent but if they are repeated often enough they become core beliefs and influence our later life. Some such as hand washing can become OCD or they can just become a fear of catching something in a restaurant.

If you can find a core belief that is causing your health anxiety then you can change it and all your health fears will change with it. They will go from incessant worry to a healthy concern that you look at and drop. Anxiety breeds anxiety. Getting rid of this will get rid of other forms of anxiety. Does anyone close to you have this health phobia. That can contribute to your core beliefs.

My pain in my leg has moved so it is looking more like infection than a crack.

How is your knee. Better I hope, it will take a while I think. I look like hamburger from all the bruises I got working on my deck. They will go, but they look bad. Arthritis has left me hyper-clumsy.

Glad your husband has his stitches out. When I had all my teeth pulled that was the most annoying part, a mouth full of threads. yuk. I have to go in for a fitting when I can walk more than ten feet again.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks Davit for thinking of me and asking you're therapist about health anxiety and treatment for it. It makes sense that CBT and the program would work for that too, here I thought the panics would be hard to decrease {and they were} but this health thing might take some time and I am hoping it does not, it would be so liberating and free and peaceful NOT to worry!

It was hectic around my home but I got through it, my husbands stitches came out and he is in a lot of pain and my son is having some problems and me with severe PMS but I got through the day without losing it or panicking, kinda close but NO cigar and thats a good positive thing. My therapist came this evening, I have had to cut him down from once a week too once or twice a month mostly because of finances and also we probably have gone as far as we can go, he does try I know, but he cannot "pull" the fear out of my brain nor wave a wand I must do the work myself, and I know you have mentioned this in the past, maybe its starting to compute at last. I don't feel too well, lots of body symptoms because of a delayed monthly and my ear hurts but I am trying not too dwell and just go on, I hope you're hip is feeling better today. My knee is still very sore but I keep telling myself thats normal and it will heal, and that helps, maybe more practice is needed I think.

The program is helping but I know I have a ways too go. My therapist said tonight "I want you too live not just exist and endure" and I want that so much too, I think life should be happy and joyous at least sometimes, my prayer and my goal!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

I had a talk with my therapist on how to deal with Hypochondria. She says CBT works and to use it the same as any of the other anxiety disorders. It is about changing your negative thoughts and taking back control of your thinking. Just like you would for any trigger. There is hope, stick to the program and it will work.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

Very good. Keep that thought when you look at your knee and don't be afraid to look because the more you can convince yourself the easier it will be with the next thought, whether negative or positive. This is similar to when you had panic and didn't have time for the negative thought. The only difference is that instead of no time for the negative thought you want to have no negative thought to have time for. When ever you start to think about how something could go bad reach into your memory and find how many times it didn't.

An example. Every time I get up my hip hurts. Instead of thinking "I'm not going to be able to walk on it" I think "I did it even though it was not good so it must be getting better".

Some studies have even suggested that you can speed healing by thinking it is healing. And the opposite. Back when I still used to get the cold and flu if I thought how miserable I was going to be I was. If I was too busy I got better faster. It might not have been so but in my head I thought so.

Interesting fact is that I have not had the flu since being diagnosed with Arthritis. Not a good trade but better than having both.

Davit

Ps. The other treatment for hypochondria is exposure. Not being exposed to the flu but by being exposed to the thought of the flu.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I don't feel like you are nagging me Davit you are just trying to help me get well as I know all the others on site are helping.

I fell in the bathroom about seven months ago, it was long before I joined the panic center, it was actually a worse fall, I hit the doorknob on the way down and had a horrible bruise on my back, luckily I fell on my butt where I have some padding! I was upset about it but my panic attacks were so severe then I was so focused on them and my heart and everything else I did not worry too much about it, believe it or not, it was like "yeah the fall was bad but I have worse problems" But that time, seven months ago the floor WAS wet and I was rushing, so at least there was a reason this time the floor was dry, I do NOT want to develop a falling phobia, I have enough phobias already, I am just going to be super-careful in the bathroom, I don't want to add another fear on me, I mean people fall and they are alright, I just know I am going to careful, probably, "too careful" knowing me, I never really feared falling that was never one of my fears, and I dont want to have it now.

The positive thing today Davit is that my son and husband went out for a few hours at night and I was alone and I did NOT panic, I just tried to relax and it worked! I got through it, and you know how I felt "next time it will be easier and then easier after that" I know that is positive and I am glad I was! I am sure my knee will heal, and I will be more careful in the future.

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Took a Hard Fall