I am having a lot of trouble distingushing between the physical and emotional. I don't know anymore if its fear and anxiety OR something terribly wrong with me physically. I was very happy about going out over the weekend, I actually went shopping for my son's birthday and out too dinner with my family for his B-day, I was nervous but DID not freak out or have an attack, and that does please me and gives me hope, I am just having a lot of trouble ridding myself of the other problems this disorder brings like depression and health anxiety, especially the health anxiety, it seems to actually of gotten worse instead of better.
For example I woke up three times last night coughing very badly actually wheezing, its better now but it really scared me I coughed so hard I got dizzy and it hurt my chest, I was in a deep sleep when it happened, so now I am thinking I picked something up like a virus going out so much, I have been so housebound the last eight months I rarely left the house, and now I go out and I am afraid I got sick! I am trying to push it out of my head. I thought when the panic attacks pretty much went away I would feel so much better, but the health anxiety and fear keep lingering, why is that? I thought I would feel better.
Maybe I should just be grateful about the attacks and not expect miracles right away, through I hate to live in fear, this cough is scaring me, I dont want broncitis again it was so hard and then I start to think "lung cancer" its so hard to push these thoughts from my brain. How do I do it? Is it normal when the attacks decrease that the health anxiety should go up? I thought it would be better, I have learned through the program that I will not die of an attack now I am just scared of dying or something else? Is there hope for severe health anxiety, I heard its very very hard to cure, and I dont want to live like that.
