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Are You in Dreamland or Nightmareland?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Davit,

Great idea! Positive distractions are in order today..I am heading outside to work on finishing my privacy fence..

Thank you my dear friend,

Red....

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

Yes I understand. Take your time, it isn't going anywhere. Get some rest, do something to take your mind off it. Time heals all.

Davit

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Davit,

Thank you for the response..You are a dear friend and thank you for trying to help me..I can not comprehend this right now and I am sure you will understand why..My mind is just too raw from yesterday..I am going to come back and read this again when my mind has had a little time to rest and heal..I am sure my mind will be more receptive then.

Red....

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red.

Actually this is for everyone. You may not have control of everything in life but you do have control of your perception and your emotions although the latter is harder.

When something negative happens to you you can look at it realistically and see if it can be changed or if it has to be accepted. Take your fence. You can be mad because you have to do this for privacy or you can be glad because the situation has forced you to do something you always wanted to do. This is winning rather than settling for a happy medium. And remember it is still your decision whether you do it or not. Please do not settle for a happy medium, that allows an available path for the negative to push at the positive. Most of us developed this disorder because of negative tendencies so you want to remove as much negative stuff as possible and change your perception of the rest. Accepting something because it can't be changed and has to be worked around is positive. Accepting something because you have to is negative. They may look the same but in one you still have control through your perception and this is important if you have control issues as in Agoraphobia. Use the negative emotions as a gage rather than a fact. use them to give you something to build positives against. When you are mad, use your perception to find ways not to be. Same with all the negative emotions.

This way you don't have to settle for a happy medium. You don't have to settle for someone or something having control. Negative will still happen but what you do with it is still your choice.

This way you get to feel all the emotions without their negative effects if that is what they normally do.

Red, accepting a happy medium is like stopping halfway up the mountain. It is pretty good but not what being on top could be. A better view and no constant battle not to fall off.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hugs.

My perception now is that life can not be all positive or negative, good or bad, happy or sad..So I am now looking for a happy medium...

Red.....

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Thanks for your inputs on nightmares. I guess my perception is part of whether something is positive/negative, since no-one is all bad/good.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

I have some experience with dreams too..I had a wonderful dream once that I was in a beautiful meadow and there was no sadness or sickness or pain. I was a young child of maybe 9 or 12. The colors were so vivid and it was so peaceful there..I hated to wake up and tried to go back to sleep and to the dream. This was a spiritual experience for me and I felt that this was Heaven..I look forward to being there again..

I also have a lot of nightmares which I think are caused by ptsd where I am in a panic and have to wake myself up..

Yesterday I got a letter from the Dept of Veterans Affairs in relations to my benefits. They have now decided that my late husband could have had Parkinson from herbicide exposure. Anyway I was so upset because knew I would have to go to the Disabled American Veterans a service originations who helps veterans and their families deal with there claims and benefits..they are located in the Dept of Veterans Building. I starting having flashbacks and the memories of the years we spent going to the VA for help and all the trauma of his illness and seeing all the other sick veterans and it all came flooding back again..Last night was a very bad night of me and my dreams were different this time, instead of being in a panic this time I was sobbing in my dream for all of the veterans and their families and myself who have had to go through this type of physical and emotional pain. In the last dream I saw a statue of soldiers in combat on a flat bed trailer driving down the road and I just keep sobbing uncontrollably..So this time when I woke up I stayed up and spent the morning sobbing for us all..

Today I went to the VA to take care of the business I needed to take care of. I was so sad. I stopped at the 2nd floor where the help the veterans with ptsd and asked them if the could help me with what I went though, just like I asked them 8 yrs ago. There still is nothing they can do for me because I am a widow and not the veteran. They did try, I will give them that and gave me a flier telling me where I might find help..I wonder when does the pain stop when do we all stopping hurting and being haunting by War...

I look forward to and am waiting to return to that peaceful meadow again...

Red...

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I have a reoccurring nightmare that leaves me sad for hours after. It doesn't cause panic but it does ruin my day even though I have tried to handle it with attitude and perception.

In this nightmare, and it varies but the theme is always the same, I am healthy again. I am doing all the things I used to be able to do. Run, ski, climb my lovely mountains, ride my bike for hours, build things. Some times I'm on top a mountain, sometimes I'm touring. Then I awake and here I am, older, tired and in pain a fair bit of the time but worse, is the lack of range of motion movement keeps me from doing so many things. Attitude should let me enjoy the fact I used to do these things. Attitude should let me remember that I still have a good life even if some days it is with the help of Tylenol on top of the other meds. Perception should allow me to see that this is a normal process just a bit early for me. Perception should let me accept that I'm still alive and compared to some have a good life. (and it is going to get better)

But some days it sneaks up on me.

So when I am saying this or that works and you are saying easy for you to say I want you to know that some days it is just as difficult for me. Difference is I remember the alternative so I have the incentive to put in the effort. Time is ticking away, I can't wait for something to go away that I know never will without my help.

As for the nightmare, I am trying to look at it positively and expand and remember all those things I used to do. I'm trying to look at them as past pleasures not as loss.

Davit. Just venting :-)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Yes, but you have to want to and you have to have something you can use. It has to be positive to break the negative cycle/circle of thought, reaction, thought.

Interesting thing is it can be used in situations other than nightmares. Practically any panic situation. Even shopping.

Remember my shopping bag analogy. Filling the bag with positive to bury the negative. Now if you do this visualization often enough when you have the nightmare you don't have to make conscious thought. When I dream about culverts now I do the visualization automatic because it is at the top of the memory shopping bag from past placement there. That is what comes up first now. The other is still there but now I would have to go look for it. Very similar to brain washing isn't it.

Wish I could draw the triangle here, it would be much easier to visualize then how the three corners are related and work together to advantage, or disadvantage depending on a persons mind set. Negative breeds negative. The triangle shows why and how.

Maybe I can put it up as an ativar.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Davit,

Are you saying you change the dream by visualizing an aspect upon awakening from the nightmare, but visualizing or reframing it to your benefit?

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Are You in Dreamland or Nightmareland?