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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Samantha offers good advice. See if you can get a new therapist, a better fit. I know I feel better with my female doctor. You are going through a tough time right now. Please know we care about you and what happens. Hang onto our hands. You are not alone. Keep posting whenever you want. We are listening.
I do think you can get better from this. I used to be so scared too and now I am panic free.

Praying for you,

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Samantha I am going to work on getting a new therapist this week perhaps a female so I will feel more comfortable discussing woman's issues. I had a very bad day today and I am sorry if I sounded in a bad way, I am sure as time goes on I will get better I just get so scared sometimes. Everyone here has been wonderful too me with their advice concern and compassion, Thank-you.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hello Debora,

Thank you for taking the time to write and reach out to us. I can hear that you are experiencing a challenging time. Please know that we are here to listen and to support you. Finding the right therapist can be a really difficult feat. I would suggest making an appointment with your healthcare professional and asking them if they might have any recommendations for an alternative therapist or counsellor. At this point it might be a good idea to try and see if you can find someone that is a better fit. In the meantime if you feel that you can't wait to talk to someone, I would make the suggestion of reaching out and phoning a family member or friend. You can also phone a helpline (the helpline number would differ depending what country you live in). This would allow you to speak with someone immediately. I'm extending to you my hand in support, please grab a hold.

Samantha, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

I am sorry I did not write back sooner. Today was very very bad. I had an attack that lasted over a hour usually they last 15 or 20 minutes nothing I did helped breathing praying distraction trying to journal I could not even read my toolbox because my vision was so blurred and I was shaking like a leaf, I was convinced I was having a heart attack or going insane. My husband is very upset, he took my son and left and that was even more scary being alone like this, I am so exhausted from it, I cried alot and I feel like I just ran 5 miles my body aches with exhaustion and I am so scared that its all going to start again tommorow, I wish I could tolerate the side effects of the SSRI's but I cannot the klonopin helps a little but I notice it depresses me and makes me tired and I sleep too much now, another one of my husbands complaints he does not understand that the ONLY time this goes away is when I sleep, I dont want to sleep so much but its only relief I get.

He wants to fire my therapist, he said for 7 months he has been paying this man and I am worse and I have to admit he is right, I am very limited to where I can get help, I dont drive and he works till after 6:00pm and its hard to get evening appts, my therapist never takes notes, and sometimes he laughs at my fears which I do not feel is right or helpful, he does not give me homework and sometimes says the wrong things, I feel like I have wasted so much time and money on this man, my husband thinks he is just in it for the money, and I dont mind paying him but he is not helping me and that is scaring me too.

Today I had terrible thoughts, I dont even know where to look for a CBT therapist, I have picked all the wrong people to help me, I even went to a christian counselor a few months ago she charged me $125.00 and told me "you are not exercising your faith in God" and then said to go on an anti-psychotic med which terrified me, is there any good help out there? I am so hoping that with prayer and this program I can get better, everyday I feel like I am dying, I am so afraid one day its going to get so bad I am going to drop over dead and my poor son will find me, has anyone ever felt like this and got better? is there hope for me? or am I a lost cause? I want to get better so bad but I keep failing and everyone around me is mad but noone is more mad at me than me for letting it get so bad.

I am sorry if this is such a negative depressing letter, all these months or daily panic attacks followed by crying have hurt my mind and body, I just want it to end, I hope CBT works for me I want to believe it so bad since nothing else has. Thank you for listening, I am hoping things will look up soon, my body cannot take this anymore at fifty years old. Thank you.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

thank you everyone for your kind words. I am having a bad woman problem right now and not in a good way I am trying breathe and calm down, I am all alone and scared trying NOT to call the paramedics. I agree "m" I should have a female therapist especially right at this minute considering what I am going through with my woman problem I could never call me about this not a man! I called him once when I was in a bad way and he was not much help, I think if I live through this I will get a female just to talk about female issues, I am sorry I am in a bad way right now and shaky thank you alll.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Ditto.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Hi Debora... I would just add that you should trust your feelings about your therapist. I didn't know how important this is until I went through a similar situation as you. It was with a male therapist as well. I saw him for 8 months! Always felt like a total loser after any session with him. I felt it was my fault that I wasn't feeling any better. It was so hard to even get out of the house but I didn't give myself credit for getting there. I just would sit in my car and cry and cry because I was such a bad patient. That was some 20 years ago...

Here is what I've learned since... (oh, and these are just my personal opinions based on my experience). First I think it is very important for women to see female counselors. That said, I believe that by 6 months you surely should be feeling some relief. Good therapy is hard and painful and no quick fix.... however, a good therapist can teach you how to contain your fear and anxiety between sessions and make themselves available by phone 24/7 for emergencies (including severe panic).

Of course, any threat of physical harm requires getting immediate medical help... but you should still be able to call them when needed otherwise. How often and by what manner is something that should be covered in the initial sessions.

If a therapist does not bring them up, then you must. Even if you thought your current therapist is fabulous... 6 months is a really good time to stop and evaluate the therapeutic relationship. Making a list of questions for your next session can be helpful... if you are like me... then it is mandatory because I get so nervous about this sort of thing that I would forget everything when I was face to face.

I can give you some examples of questions to ask and how to do so if you are interested. I'm sure other members can offer suggestions as well. My main point is that YOU KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE... and your health and well-being is in your hands... you have the final say. Don't ever forget that you are the consumer and your therapist is a person hired to provide a service. It is entirely reasonable to evaluate their performance.

I know that is hard when you feel so awful and scared. But you need to do this for you... not just give all your power away to other people (husband, counselors, doctors) like I did. I still struggle with that tendency... but am better about catching myself. I currently have a wonderful therapist who won't let me abdicate my responsibility for myself.

Sorry this is so long... but I do have one more point. As in all relationships... the therapeutic one may not be working simply because your styles or personalities don't mesh. It happens. No one's fault. And it's OK to keep looking for a good match.

I hope this helps some. we are here for you!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Keep reminding yourself that the fears you feel about ill health are the result of your anxiety/stress levels. It will get better. Don't give up and keep doing the program. As Davit wrote, it will get easier to understand and to start using the things you will learn in the sessions. As any course you take, you can't learn it all in one day or even a wknd. I reread the program at least 3-4 times. I went over the chapters which I needed to learn more than once. The first time is all new. The second time, things sink in better, I really understood and it all made sense. Like pieces of a puzzle fitting in perfectly.

Keep up the good work and believe in yourself, you can do it.

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks Davit. I am hoping that is what he meant by what he said but this has been going on for so long and getting worse I dont know if I can stand anymore misery if you know what I mean. I guess I was hoping after six months of seeing him I would at least slightly improve but that has not happened, sometimes after a session with him I feel much worse than I did before and I feel like he "doesn't know what to do with me" does that make sense? I know he has no magic wand and he cannot cure me instantly its just so much suffering day after day especially with the health anxiety and thinking I am going to get some terminal disease or drop over from a stroke or heart attack, I am hoping this program will help dispel these scary horrible thoughts and let me have my life back, I even worry about my child constantly and husband, I just do not want to worry anymore that is probably what is damaging me more than ever. Thank you for you're support and saying I will get better that is so nice to hear and my goal and is what I want more than ever, just a little peace and happiness, I think we all deserve that. I know that I am up late I cannot sleep good anymore, its nice to know someone is always here day or night.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

If what your therapist meant was "it is okay to be unwell for a while as you do the CBT" that is fine. It is to be expected and is acceptable. But not to be actually miserable. That is negative and will make CBT more difficult.

I'm only a member but I think this is a very good program if followed. It works. Especially the parts on relaxation techniques.

You are not severe. I have seen worse, including myself. You are just confused, it is a normal state of this condition in the beginning and it will go away as you gain knowledge. And the best way to gain that knowledge is to do the program. It has every thing you will need.

Keep asking questions, we are here to help as best we can. And we are here for support with our experience if for nothing else than to prove it works.

Davit.

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