Red, I apologize... I am guilty of not responding to each of your posts. You have been sounding so solid and certain of what you are doing and content with the positive choices you are making... I just didn't feel like I had anything to add... I do read your posts and am always happy to see your contributions to the forums. I will try to get better at letting you know that... Could you maybe try letting us know when you start feeling badly so we can reach out before it gets so bad you just want to disappear.