The big problem with panic is that what we are doing exposure to is things that we are supposed to be able to do. The celebration of a success and its reward is two fold. One is the celebration of a success but the other is that it is a reminder of the success. It is a building of a positive on top of the negative. There fore I think the reward should be something you can associate with the success even when you are not doing the exposure. Such as a smile. Or taking the time to smell flowers, a bubble bath, a trip to the restaurant with a friend. Something you can consciously or unconsciously associate with the success.
Ashley put it right by say to appreciate every goal we achieve. An example: After a hard day in the garden I like to sit in a lawn chair and look at all I have achieved in a positive manner. It is hard not to say "oh God how will I ever finish this", but a person must focus on the positive. This achievement is for me another form of reward.
What ever or how ever the reward it is still there as a celebration of the success.
Now also, If you really want something, buy it don't wait for it to be a reward or feel guilty for doing it. That positive feeling of doing something for yourself is a good feeling and you have a right to this good feeling.
It sounds like all of you are on the right track. Rewards are different for everyone. Find what works for you. Whatever you need to do to celebrate and be really present to the successes you are making is so important. In today's society people often go from one goal to the next in the name of productivity. But by not appreciating every goal we achieve we are actually being counter productive. Take a moment right now to take a deep breath and really feel, appreciate, know, embrace and breath in all that you have achieved.
Doing exposure work is such a challenge in its self I can not imagine doing it just so that I could give myself a reward..I can't imagine anyone doing it for this reason.
I see a reward as looking at the positive and that if you give yourself little rewards for a job well done that is a positive thing;
unless you feel that you do not deserve to be rewarded for your efforts..
I know that in the past I have had a hard time giving myself credit for a job well done..I think of it as learning to love yourself and I think I deserve to be rewarded for all the hard work and effort I put in to working this program...Learning to give myself rewards has been a very positive step for me..It means that I think I am deserving of a reward..It has to do with my self esteem..
I agree with David here. One can end doing the exposure work just for the reward because of the power of association, and in this way the exposure work could not help one with their fears.
Of course giving some rewards from time to time is good, but shouldn't be a norm.
This makes sense...but I don't think it hurts to get yourself something nice one in a while if you can afford it...Like when I was at the grocery store...I decided to stop at the store on the way home from my walk at the lake. We had thought about eating breakfast out but I decided to eat something healthy, so I stopped to get some peaches and milk for my cereal..Going into the store was exposure work for me..I happened to see these pretty flowers when I walked into the store and they made me feel good and I felt no anxiety at all like I thought I would, and said to myself you know what I deserve to have those flowers and I bought them for myself because they made me feel happy...
Sometimes I think we over think things to much and just need to go with the moment and let ourself be happy and enjoy life just because we can...
A reward can be as simple as a smile. Or a kiss from your partner. It is the thought that it is a reward that makes it a reward. One must be careful not to make the reward an excuse for doing something. A reward after doing an exposure is supposed to be a celebration of the success. Can you see the difference. It is a bit of a fine line. Although for some knowing you can have something you want if you do something you don't want to do can be the incentive to do something. It can become a crutch where as doing something you don't want to do because you are supposed to be able to is a better reason to do it and then you celebrate your success with the reward. You may have to start off with using the reward as an excuse but once you get a success you should change to celebrating the success to keep it from becoming a crutch.
Yes I always reward myself, but some times it is as simple as walking around with a smile on my face because of my success.
I like a glass of wine with supper and some times when I am tired I will use it for a reward for a successful day. But I would never use it as an excuse to have a drink I would only have it because it goes good with a meal. Or it goes good after, sitting under the apple tree.
Keep that in mind, is it a reward or is it an excuse.
Just my opinion.
Davit.
Ps. If you want some thing and can afford it, buy it. Don't force yourself to do something so you can have it. It takes all the pleasure out of it.
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