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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

The legal and cultural reasons for work life not changing according to our expectations are okay to talk about, but similar to that other thread, civility in the workplace is different from one place to another.

If you read the book by Robert Sutton, you'll find he describes civility and how to cope, but we can only deal with our behaviour and struggle with that.

Working with this program can move you at your pace, and we can support each other.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Kendra: Sorry about the stress at work. I had a part-time job like that once. I did resign after awhile because it was bothering me mentally. I hated coming into work. However, something which helped me was the thought that my boss was cranky, ornery for a reason. What was happening in her world to make her feel like that? I found out her son and daughter had been arrested for having a meth lab and needless to say, she was very worried and stressed herself. No, she didn't have to be a b---- to everyone else, but I guess that was her world at the time. Who am I to judge? You can't change someone else, you can only change yourself. How much negative can you take? and is it worth it to you for the reasons Davit has mentioned below. If you decide to stay, just know that your expectations may not be met - maybe forever, maybe just for a time. We don't know that yet. How much of a time period do you wish to invest in this job to see if things get better - 3 months, 6 months, until you find another job? In any case, your responsibility is to take care of yourself and it sounds like you are doing that. Just a reminder, have all sick leave documented and any meetings with your boss, write down the date and what it was about. Good luck.

Your friend, Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Kendra.

You need to weigh the job against your mental health. Why are you there? For the money, for the kids, for exposure?

For the money: Ignore everyone and just do what the job calls for and no more and ignore your boss. You are not there for her, you are there for the money.

For the kids: Do the job to the best of your ability, there is pleasure in achievement. You can only be a door mat if you lay there and let people walk on you.

Exposure: Do the job to prove you are a better person than the b...... . And keep looking for something better.

I have worked for some rather stupid ignorant people. You don't have to be smart or nice to be the boss, all you have to do is be the boss. There in lies the problem. In the bosses eyes the boss is always right. How they express it can make or break job satisfaction. How you tolerate it and why can make or break whether you stay.

Times are tough and she probably knows it. Keep your cards close and smile lots. Maybe something better will come along.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

I can totally sympathize with another post about bosses. I didn't want to take over the other post with my added issues so I thought I had better do a separate discussion.

My boss is cold and unreadable. I noticed that in the interview. I am usually good at reading people but with her it is different.

I started working in January part time. I don't mind the job too much I guess. I became ill in February and took a sick day. Then my daughter was sick, I again took one day.

Then in March I ended up in the hospital with horrible kidney/ovary pain. I called from the hospital and took 2 days.

And then things went horribly wrong. I ended up with food poisoning or the flu, throwing up etc. I had to call in. My boss was rude and hung up on me. I quickly showered and went to work sick with blood shot eyes. My co-worker said, no way. Go home! You are too sick to be here. My boss came into work and motioned for me to approach like I was a peasant or something. She was rude and inconsiderate. She pushed back my probationary period and was just a mean, cold person (I use the term "person" loosely :)

Since then I am nervous. I am afraid to do anything. I am terrified, can't sleep etc. I worry about everything but I am proud that throughout it all I am nice. But then again, maybe I am a doormat. I try to be kind to everyone no matter what. I think that is professional at least.

But now here I am at 9am worrying about work which starts at 1pm. I am afraid that I won't be able to do seemingly simple things. Like take the kids outside. (I work in a daycare). I am afraid the kids will go bananas or that they won't listen.

Yesh. It sounds bizarre when I read this back.

How can we get past these kinds of situations? Why are people such jerks?

I have applied for another job but I am sure these kinds of issues will pop up again. I am a Mother of a school age child. I will end up missing work once in a while because my daughter is more important than a stupid job. Am I too? I was genuinely sick and was called out on it. I even had a sick note.

Help!

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