Sid,
It sounds like being transported to a remote and emotionally charged past is bringing out many feelings.
Can you see us, the forum support group, as ordinary people who are not your parents?
Can you see the world as different from the world you grew up in?
I plan to return, and assert myself, since this is inappropriate behaviour.
At work, I found the same thing.
I feel visible when there is acknowledgement of some sort. Instead of using my last name, someone would use my first name. Smalltalk should be called bigtalk, since I feel bigger.
I feel empowered when I can assert myself. This is tricky since in new situations, one has to know their rights, and figure out boundries.
When I get out more, I think I feel less shame in my negative thoughts, since I believe most people I seek are more optimistic, and would encourage me.
Social groups can be inclusive or exclusive providing visibility or invisibility respectively.
If people are engaging me, then I guess I become real. It’s like drawing a figure on paper, so I slowly begin to take shape. As I get out, others show me I have ideas, and different aspects of being...