Hi Sirius: just a quick note, yes, I made the quilt. Thank you for the compliment. I'm still an amateur. I do these "scrappy" quilts during the winter to keep me busy. It's creative too. I like to recycle, so most materials in the quilt are leftovers from something else, but I think you can still make something nice from leftovers! Glad you like it. I'm explaining the quilts in my blog - Red sometimes explains her photos in her blog if you want to know more about them too.
Saying a prayer for you, keep the faith and believe.
Sunny123 is right its the antipation that is the worst, i also have problems with this, when the anxiety gets to much i try and think past it. So try and think past your operation, think about how much better your life will be when you are feeling well again, start planning what you want to do, maybe start running again, go on a holiday, think about everything you want to do after the event.
I hope everything goes well and i look forward to hearing all your wonderfull plans
I was so scared I did not tell any one except one close friend how scared I was and she got me through it for which I am eternally grateful for. I am glad I had the operation even though it was nothing like yours. I just want to say how proud that you could share with us it makes you a stronger person than me. I am a little embarrassed that I could not share my fear with my friends here who I knew would be there for me.
I am trying really hard to be positive and remind myself that this surgery is supposed to take away these flutters. I keep telling myself just a few more days and this will be gone..... and then, of course, what if it doesn't work sneaks up on me again. But, I am trying to remember the benefits of this surgery like you mentioned - it does help.
I was freaking out at work today and I went in the bathroom and sat down and meditated, concentrating on nothing but my breathing for a few minutes and imagined all my worries melting into the ground with each breathe out. It was so relaxing and felt so good! Anyone reading this should try it sometime.
Thanks again for your support and letting me "hold your hand" while I go through this!
Great advice and support from everyone. Take this with you and know that we are here for you. Doing this is going to help you immensely and the doctors are there to assist you, so take them up on their support and knowledge.
Grab my hand too...I am here for you ... great advice Sunny.
Can you try to change to a positive answer to your "what if I wake up and the flutters are still there?" to "what if they are gone forever and I feel great!! "Ya...everytime the negative thought creeps in, try to change it to positive..I know first hand how hard this is to do, but it's a great way of distracting too. .
Never worry about rambling here, thats what this place is for.
I think I am mostly angry at myself over this. I've had these flutters for probably 15 or more years and they have always been the anxiety trigger for me. I've always had the social anxiety and crowd anxiety and that sort of thing, but the heart flutter anxiety has always been "The Big One" for me. The doctors have always blown it off as just anxiety and now that they have confirmed that it is my heart, my anxiety has just sky rocketed. I keep telling myself that doesn't make it any different than what I've always experienced and that it's only worse now because now that this surgery is coming up it is constantly in the back of my mind. But still - it doesn't mean it's more dangerous now than it's ever been, which apparently it isn't according to my doctor, two cardiologists and the heart surgeon who is a specialist in this kind of thing! ARGH Round and round it goes......
I think my biggest fear with this surgery is that the flutters won't stop even after it's done. At which point (I remind myself) that I will keep working on challenging the anxious thoughts as I have learned to do here and will get over it and live with it as I did before. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to this surgery in the hope that this will be done. But, it still scares the snot out of me! - Hee Hee Hee -
PS
Your quilt is absolutely beautiful!! I don't know if you made it yourself, but the color scheme and the stitching is gorgeous!
Good morning Sirius: Go ahead and vent as much as you want. The last few days before surgery can be so nerve wracking eh? Anticipatory anxiety levels are sometimes at their highest. Just think, in four days, it'll be finished and you will feel so much better. I know my friend did. Is there something you can do to keep a little busier than usual, to try and keep occupied? Are there friends or family members who can visit and just hang out with you? There is light at the end of the tunnel, almost there. Hold onto our hands and don't let go 'til you are ready. We are here for you. I will say prayers for you.
My heart surgery is in four days. I was fighting anxiety about this since I've known about it but now it's almost like a constant high level of anxiety and panic. I keep getting these episodes of flutters and I down some Maalox and take a Lorazepam and it kind of helps but then after a couple hours it kicks back in again.
I'm looking forward to this surgey because there is a good chance it will take the flutters away forever. But, it keeps crossing my mind - what if they fix the heart problem and the flutters don't go away? What if they get in there and I get the classic, Well, we didn't find anything wrong so you'll just need to find some coping skills. I'm so sick of this. I don't want to go through this surgery and have to keep dealing with this.
And I'm so angry at myself because I know the flutters are happening more because I can't stop thinking about it and I know that the more you look for something, the more you will find it. And because I'm so anxious about it, it's causing my stomach to go crazy, which makes the flutters happen also. I am having an extremely hard time making my mind stop.
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But, I am trying to remember the benefits of this surgery like you mentioned - it does help. 
Round and round it goes......
