last night my friend carina went to go pick up her cousin from the ferry terminal, on her way the windshield wiper motor in her broke down, as it was raining pretty hard last night she left her car there. her boyfriend jeremy called me today, eplained the situation and i volunteered to drop them at the ferry terminal and help fix the car.
as soon as iput the phone down i started having a panic attack. my first ever panic attack was in the car driving on a highway over a bridge, that was 8 months ago and stopped driving for 7 1/2 months and only recently started drivingf again locally. the ferry terminal is a 45 minute drive on the highway over TWO bridges, something i didnt consider when i made my offer. i have a fear of losing control on the highway and crashing.
i calmed my self down a bit and headed out, prewarning carina and jeremy that i might a bit agitated and anious. the drive there wasn't too bad, lots of traffic so we drove slow, making it over both bridges with incredibly sweaty palms, almost made it to the ferry terminal but eventually had to pull over and ask carina to drive the rest of the way, we were only 3 minutes away lol
after four hours her car was fixed and carina took off in her car, she loaned jeremy to me for the ride home, jeremy doesnt have a licence so i started panicking again because there was no one to bail me out, i had to drive all the way home. jeremy was really good, helped talk me down and we made it home safely. i feel relieved that I DID IT, easily the biggest fear that i had. i havent reached the exposure part of the program yet but i feel that i had to conquer my biggest fear today even though i am super tired and have a massive headache from grinding my teeth all day, sacrifices i will gladly make to beat this.
just thought i would share that with everyone
Sunny II
. 
I often found the relaxation and visualization technique before doing something which produced anxiety a great help. 
