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An interesting exposure.

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An interesting exposure.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

jSquared.

I used to be afraid of the dark till I lived in a small cabin with no power. That fear is buried now and I don't know if I could revisit it again as I have not had a reason to. But if I sit here and think hard enough about being in a small cabin in the dark I can make my skin crawl and my anxiety go up. Why now since it never bothered me then? Because our memory is not perfect there are blank spots we have to fill in. I can fill in those spots with the beauty of a full moon or the fear of the dark, even though there is no reason to fear. I can use imagination to bring on fear or beauty. Fear is easier. Fear is an escape route.

So you think the confinement of the shower digs up the memory of that fear of being under the blanket. Subconscious maybe, and you are filling in the blanks with fear because you remember there was fear. But of course this would not happen with a bath would it. Unless in your background you nearly drowned or some one held you under water. And at that it would have to be more than once to imprint strongly.

Some very obscure things in our past get stored as core beliefs only to pop up when conditions are right.

So when you became a teen you were too big to have to put up with the blanket. But the memory of how it was is still there.

How would you feel now under a blanket? See this is what I mean by the trigger is not always what it seems. If it is that subconscious memory then your exposure would be to the blanket also to get rid of the distorted memory of the claustrophobia caused by filling in the blanks with fear. Proving to yourself it is the thought rather than the fact.

Just the thought of a mummy sleeping bag raises my anxiety level and to this day I can not stand the sheets or blankets tucked in. I don't know why either. and I have some other unexplained fears too.

Here for you.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

And Davit, I forgot to mention that I used to have a problem with claustrophobia. From since I can remember when I was a kid until I believe my mid-teens. When I was a kid I remember freaking out when parents, uncles, etc. would throw a blanket over me cause they were just playing around with me. This might have a little to do with it also.

Stay positive :D,

jSquared

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

Hi Sunny and Davit. Thank you for giving me more ideas. Davit, my agoraphobia with the shower right now is mainly do to the fact that I've associated the shower with panic attacks. But I am trying to figure out what any of my thoughts are about taking a shower that could be making me anxious also. And Sunny, when I take a shower I have the water hit my shoulders and back, the only time I stick my face in the water is after I have cleaned my face, so I don't think thats really a trigger for me, but now that you mention it, it does bother me a bit when I have to do that, something I'll have to work on. Thank you for your suggestions, they are really helpful, they give me some other ideas that maybe I haven't thought of. :D

Stay positive :D,

jSquared

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi jsquared: Just wondering if having your face full into the water feels like your breathing gets cut off. I had a gf who felt like that. Could you maybe sit on a plastic stool of some kind, have the water falling a little to the side, rather than straight onto your head/face. Just wondering.

Your friend, Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

jSquared.

For some people there bathroom is a personal space. Did you ever feel in all that stressful time that you should not be using there shower or were you made to feel like you were imposing. I'm looking for a reason other than claustrophobia, because you used to use the shower before the stress. See if the problem is a core belief then you have to do thought exposure rather than physical exposure, you may have to do both, one to stimulate the other. For me physical exposure does not work because my core beliefs kept saying it wasn't working. But thought exposure did, and very fast, a couple of exposures was all it took. If physical exposure to the shower does not work try thought exposure.

Just a thought, as not everything is as it appears.

Here for you,

Davit, who could not go into grocery stores without panicking.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

Hi everyone, thank you for the ideas, really great ones here. But I'm looking for a way to do gradual exposure work. Lets take the grocery store for example, people usually have small steps that lead into actually entering the grocery store and so on until they can go in, do their shopping, and then leave. Well, my agoraphobia with the shower is about just as bad as this, I think I need to make gradual steps towards taking a shower. The last two times I tried taking a shower, I think I was in it for about 5 minutes and was trying to cope with the panic feelings, but I ended up having to get out and I was hyperventilating and my heart rate was really elevated. So I think gradual exposure work is what I need in this situation. Because I can still take baths to get clean.

And Davit, I know stress is a form of mental trauma, so I guess its pretty much saying the same thing. But I'll share what I was going through the first time I had the really bad panic attack in the shower. I'll try and sum it up. A friend and coworker of mine died about 7 or 8 months before. The painting company I worked for lost it's contracts so the whole crew and I got laid off due to no work. I couldn't pay my rent so I got evicted the same month. I moved in with a friend who couldn't make rent and he acted stupidly and decided to not pay, so we got evicted from there after I had only been there for a month.(around this time was when I had the attack in the shower) Then I had to go stay with a family "friend", who we now no longer associate with because he's an a-hole. But it was very stressful there, he yelled at his sister a lot and would keep asking me to do things around the house, and not just regular chores, cause I don't mind doing housework. I mean stupid ish, like clipping blackberry bushes from his backyard, which covered his WHOLE backyard, a lot of work, I filled up his yard waste bin every week for two months and still didn't finish, lol. Damn, now that I look back on it, that was a LOT to go through, no wonder I had a panic attack. But I believe the attack in the shower was the first time I had the depersonalization feelings and thoughts of going crazy. Cause I had some attacks when I was a teenager but they were a lot more mild and pretty much just included me focusing on my heart beating faster and me thinking I was having a heart attack. Ah, it feels good to get this stuff off my chest! Thank you everyone for being so supportive! I'm glad that we're all here for each other, it makes going through these rough patches so much easier.

Stay positive :D,

jSquared

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

jSquared

What do you consider stress, and how do you separate it from mental trauma?

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

I jsquared,

Have you thought about having a couple of showers a day...maybe one at night and one if the morning?

This would increase your time and exposure to the whole process.

Keep sharing your insight into how to best overcome this trigger.

Jason, Bilingual Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 58

jsquared

i can see why you would feel a bit agoraphobic about the shower, i had my first panic attack in the car and i didnt drive again for months. you have subconciously associated that place with the feeling of panic.

i think a good idea would be to go in the shower with a positive affirmation in mind and keep repeating it and just tell ur mum to give a knock on the door if you're not out in 20 minutes.

possible affirmation : i am cleansing my body of all forms of negativity and will leave the shower a more positive man

Sunny II

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 152

maybe you feel like you cant breath in the shower because it is so hot and thats why you panic, i have a glass door on mine and i have to leave it open a bit to let some air in, you could do that or open a window to let some fresh air in, if you cant take a long shower for exposure because of the water running out, take three or four shorter showers each day, for a couple of weeks you will eventually get bored with it and it may now be so bad

your friend Debi

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An interesting exposure.