Hi everyone, thank you for the ideas, really great ones here. But I'm looking for a way to do gradual exposure work. Lets take the grocery store for example, people usually have small steps that lead into actually entering the grocery store and so on until they can go in, do their shopping, and then leave. Well, my agoraphobia with the shower is about just as bad as this, I think I need to make gradual steps towards taking a shower. The last two times I tried taking a shower, I think I was in it for about 5 minutes and was trying to cope with the panic feelings, but I ended up having to get out and I was hyperventilating and my heart rate was really elevated. So I think gradual exposure work is what I need in this situation. Because I can still take baths to get clean.
And Davit, I know stress is a form of mental trauma, so I guess its pretty much saying the same thing. But I'll share what I was going through the first time I had the really bad panic attack in the shower. I'll try and sum it up. A friend and coworker of mine died about 7 or 8 months before. The painting company I worked for lost it's contracts so the whole crew and I got laid off due to no work. I couldn't pay my rent so I got evicted the same month. I moved in with a friend who couldn't make rent and he acted stupidly and decided to not pay, so we got evicted from there after I had only been there for a month.(around this time was when I had the attack in the shower) Then I had to go stay with a family "friend", who we now no longer associate with because he's an a-hole. But it was very stressful there, he yelled at his sister a lot and would keep asking me to do things around the house, and not just regular chores, cause I don't mind doing housework. I mean stupid ish, like clipping blackberry bushes from his backyard, which covered his WHOLE backyard, a lot of work, I filled up his yard waste bin every week for two months and still didn't finish, lol. Damn, now that I look back on it, that was a LOT to go through, no wonder I had a panic attack. But I believe the attack in the shower was the first time I had the depersonalization feelings and thoughts of going crazy. Cause I had some attacks when I was a teenager but they were a lot more mild and pretty much just included me focusing on my heart beating faster and me thinking I was having a heart attack. Ah, it feels good to get this stuff off my chest! Thank you everyone for being so supportive! I'm glad that we're all here for each other, it makes going through these rough patches so much easier.
Stay positive :D,
jSquared