Hi all,
I set some goals for myself - each day I will do atleast one thing' that I wasn't
able to do before. Yesterday I changed the kitty litter pan. It was abit difficult, I wanted it to be
perfectly clean so it took me alot longer then I would have lliked it to be. I wasn't able to hold back telling my husband I neded to wash it and I would like a cleaning utensil that doesn't have the spaces in it for 'stuff' to fall thru. It's just
disgusting, uchh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today I took some time for me and actually enjoyed it. I'm doing a total make-over, already have done most
clothes. Today I had a consult for someone to do my hair, which is a major step for me. I know I am/was obsessive about my hair to the point of trimming it everyday, every piece had to be in its own perfect place. I put a note on my mirror reminding me not to cut my hair, and so far its working. When I turned 57 it began alot of fear/depression, like adolescence felt. There seems to be a major change going on internally, physically, mentally, etc. I have terrible fears of getting older and not being the person I was. I have a difficult time looking in the mirror and think I am ugly. All I see is my mother's face(not that she was ugly, if anything she was beautiful), which is a whole 'nother story. It's as if all of a sudden I was gone and I knew people viewed me as middle age now. It's a very interesting phenomenon. Looking out from the inside and knowing their perception is totally different from what I am, seems so strange. When it first occurred I actually stopped mis sentence.
Well, I've rambled on. So sorry. Don't yet know the rules, who'se who, what's what.