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Happy I found all of you!!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi upsidedown-

Congratulations on all your recent successes!! You're sounding so much more positive and that's great to hear. That's great that you had a good laugh with your husband, too - sometimes laughter really is the best medicine.

Enjoy those pies and keep up all the good work! But don't forget to celebrate your progress, too.

Keep us posted,

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

This is amazing. Since my med changes and coming to the Forum and doing the 'program'

I am already seeing changes in myself.

My panic attacks have lessened. I have even been able to catch myself headed toward one and

do some self talk to bring me back.

My OCD seems to be adjusting. I made home made mini pecan pies this evening and was making a hugh mess, I started to panic cause I felt out of control not being able to clean as I go and do all I needed to do at the same time. So I left the mess I was making except for puting away ingredients as I went along. The counter was filled with messy utensils and flour everywhere and dough for the crust. I could feel myself wanting to hyperventilate but was too busy to do it, so I stayed focused on getting the pies into the oven. It took quite a bit of time to clean up the mess but I got thru it and the counter looked nice and clean and bare which eased my mind.

We had a good laugh today when my husband told me how filled the mailbox was with mail when he put his in he could feel all the envelopes at the top. I looked at him and said in a humorous tone, with my OCD not to tell me that. When he asked why I told him when I mail letters I have to open the slot many times to know my mail really went down and no one can get to it. If I felt mail I would have have had an anxiety attack. So he backtracked and told me a story to change it and we laughed! Better to have been there to know how we use humor to get thru my quirks. In the past I would have made him feel terrible for doing such a thing! BTW - the pies came out great!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 221

Hi upsidedown,

Thank you for posting and sharing!

Sounds like you're going through a big transition right now, and accepting that you are middle aged. If you had a fear of becoming older, aging will likely create some anxiety. You mentioned that there are some major changes going on internally and physically. I would encourage you to check with your doctor to make sure everything is ok.

Setting goals for yourself each day is great! The program can help you achieve these goals. Work through the program at your own pace.

Helena, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hello upsidedown: Wanted to share that I can relate to the "beauty" thing. Mine started at a young age of 5 yrs. old when my mom complained because I wasn't blond like the rest of the family and asked the hairdresser to do something to lighten my hair. not kidding. Anyway, in later years I felt I could never measure up no matter what I did. Certainly leaves you with a negative core belief, but we know we can get rid of that. Right? So upward and onwards we go....we can do it. We're o.k. just the way we are. Keep posting.

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Thank you Davit and Red, for your support and comments. Glad to hear others are or did go thru same experiences with changes. I admitted to my husband tonight in one of his birthday cards Why I Love Him - and in it

among more than alot of reasons that I wrote, that I love him for the support he is giving me thru all these changes cause it scares me to death. I'm sure alot of it has to do with my mother constantly focusing on the outside only. She had been in Miss Bronx pageant at World's Fair way back in the 30s and she was beautiful. She played with her hair the way I now play with mine. She always, okay 90% of the time, criticized me for my looks. I couldn't walk thru the door without her saying something. I try my best not to listen to her voice in my head. I've had to make a joke out of it by immitating her in an exaggerated way.

Again, thanks. Seems it isn't only the physical changes of middle age, it is the (bad to horrid) memories and emotions that are resurfacing even with all the healing work I've done over the years. When I turned 57, all the symptoms for, oh, you name it I've got it, illnesses, conditions, etc came flooding out again. 'A'

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Hi upsidedown,

I got through the the mirror thing every morning too. I was just looking at my hair etc this morning. It's great you are taking some time for you and getting a makeover and getting some new clothes. This is very postitive. Have fun today.

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Been there, done that. Just turned 60 and the mirror tells me I'm old and wore out, not much good for anything.:-)

Keep posting, we want to share with you. If you break any rules (which I doubt you will) the moderators will let you know. Site has a time limit, If you don't do anything for a while or your post gets too long it will just log you out.

Here for you,

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Hi all,

I set some goals for myself - each day I will do atleast one thing' that I wasn't

able to do before. Yesterday I changed the kitty litter pan. It was abit difficult, I wanted it to be

perfectly clean so it took me alot longer then I would have lliked it to be. I wasn't able to hold back telling my husband I neded to wash it and I would like a cleaning utensil that doesn't have the spaces in it for 'stuff' to fall thru. It's just

disgusting, uchh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I took some time for me and actually enjoyed it. I'm doing a total make-over, already have done most

clothes. Today I had a consult for someone to do my hair, which is a major step for me. I know I am/was obsessive about my hair to the point of trimming it everyday, every piece had to be in its own perfect place. I put a note on my mirror reminding me not to cut my hair, and so far its working. When I turned 57 it began alot of fear/depression, like adolescence felt. There seems to be a major change going on internally, physically, mentally, etc. I have terrible fears of getting older and not being the person I was. I have a difficult time looking in the mirror and think I am ugly. All I see is my mother's face(not that she was ugly, if anything she was beautiful), which is a whole 'nother story. It's as if all of a sudden I was gone and I knew people viewed me as middle age now. It's a very interesting phenomenon. Looking out from the inside and knowing their perception is totally different from what I am, seems so strange. When it first occurred I actually stopped mis sentence.

Well, I've rambled on. So sorry. Don't yet know the rules, who'se who, what's what.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi Upsidedown,

Welcome! I'm glad you found us, too. This support group is definitely invaluable, because there is nothing quite like the encouragement of others who have been there and really understand what it is like. So please feel free to post anytime you have a question or a thought to share, or even if you just want to vent!

My biggest piece of advice to someone just starting the program is to not rush through it. It's tempting to want to get better NOW, but it is a process. I had to go back and start over and really do the homework and now I am seeing a lot of improvement.

Keep us posted on how you're doing,

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hi Upsidedown,

welcome to our site...you have come to a great place to learn and meet others without fear or judgement. All of us are either new, "cured" or somewhere inbetween.I've been here for 6 months, and have learnt so much, and made so many friends. I have done the whole program, and am working on the exposures. Learning how to use the 10 questions and about negative core beliefs has enabled me to overcome my fears and I am happy to say that I haven't had a panic attack in over a month! I don't worry all the time anymore, and the "fear of fear" that I used to suffer with has disappeared. Prior to this I had anxiety and panic for over 20 years, gradually increasing until I just couldn't function any more. That's when I found this program, and got a doctor ...I do take a SSRI, which I believe has helped me be able to be calm enough to really absorb the information here and attempt exposures. Feeel free to post whenever you want, we are here for eachother.

Juanita

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