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How To Make Friends

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Cleo

You are funny.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hi My Friends,

Sheri....another thing we have in common. When I was young in College I met other girls and we socialized a lot. I moved around too much in my High School years to ever develop friendships. But then when I met Hubby and had my kids I got so wrapped in up in the everday business of life that there was no time for friends. It's only been the last few years that I feel the need for friends, once agan due to the Role Transition of mother to Empty nester. I am lucky here that I have a job where I have met some women in the same position, but before moving here last year we were living in a small town down east , I couldn't find a job, my oldest had just left home, hubby was away alot... there were times when I was depressed for sure. But then I saw an ad in the local paper for a walking club. So I went quite regularily, and it was better than nothing. Most of the peole were elderly..so I got all the town's gossip! And the walking was slow..so I didn't get too tired., ha, and I felt young! (I'll be 47 in Dec. ) I'm not feeling so young at my job here...I had to go on a computer course the last few days, the other LPN's were about 21, and they just whizzed through the stuff..me, with my one finger typing and limited knowledge...well...I slowly got though it! But the worst thing was the new GM...a man probably in his late 30's, came into the classroom...directly over to me and made some comment about my age!( not being in the computer world age) supposedly a joke, and that was ok, but later on when I was kind of down I thought about it again and felt really old! But then I thought..hmmm..who would he want to take care of him if he was sick? Maybe I don't know computers but I have alot of experience taking care of sick people. That thought made me laugh at myself, I realized that I was jealous...then I felt juvenile, got over it and picked tomatoes...then my back got sore so I felt old again! haha...You get the picture. Whew!

Did you think I'd ever stop? haha

Cleo

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Hi Davit,

I think of you as a forever friend. You are way too young to be like a grandpa or uncle to me. We're only 11 years apart in age. We are more like piers (in age). I'm sure you have more knowledge about anxiety and panic and coping skills, having been on the successful side of it longer. Your friend, Shari

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Shari

Let me echo you. Age is just a number, I will be 60 shortly. And I am not a fair weather friend.

An uncle or grandpa if that is how you want to look at it but still a friend.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Thanks everyone for all of the great ideas! You are all very kind and helpful. I'm going to look into some things when my daughter leaves for college next week. I'll let you all know what I'm up to :)

Teebs, I am not a fair weather friend and I will be happy to be your friend forever. Age is just a number, I will be 48 next month, but I think friends of all ages are fantastic. Everyone can learn from each other whether you're younger or older. I think you are a great person! Your friend, Shari

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

Hi shari,

Some great recommendation here. I would like to just quickly suggest looking at classes again, even if they are at night. For many of the reasons outlined, it is a great option for meeting people with similar interests. I know it may take up one of your evenings with your family but they will understand if you talk with them about why you need to take this step.

Please let us know what you decide.

Jason, Bilingual Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Hi Shari,

This is a great thread - I think a lot of us anxiety sufferers end up a bit isolated, especially if our anxiety deals with social situations. I feel like "coming out" with my anxiety has resulted in finding out a bit who my real friends are. Quite a few people I would spend time with have sadly had not much to do with me during this tough time - fairweather friends, who may be there to do things with when I'm doing better again, but that's not that great! A few people have really let me know they're there for me and that's great, but I also would like to meet new people and make new friends.

My situation is a little different in that I'm younger, but I don't like the typical young-people hang outs like bars for meeting people! Classes or workshops are a great idea (could also be a great exposure practice if you're like me!). One thing I've also done is reach out to older friends (from high school in my case) that I've lost touch with. This has resulted in rekindling some old friendships, or at least having some people to exchange letters and e-mails with. One of them actually deals with some anxiety issues too, so that has been a nice support.

Let us know what else you come up with and what works for you!

Teebs

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

They have continuing adult education classes where I live. They have quilting, crochet, needlework, jewelry making, a book club, photography, creative writing, exercise, guitar, piano, gardening, dance,computer classes etc etc. I took a quilt class and met some really nice women people there. They also have classes at some of quilt and yarn shops and craft stores. I am not sure if they have this where you live. You may want to check it out on line. I have been checking out the quilting and sewing classes on line today and there are some starting soon in my area. Also some of the stores that sell sewing machines have classes also. This is the way I have been meeting new people with similar interests. We had a tea party on the last day of my quilting class and it was a lot of fun. I am looking forward to seeing everyone in class when it starts again in Sept...

I hope this gives you some ideas. Happy Hunting!!!!

Your friend,

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Shari

I have had a computer for little more than a year, it is a very powerful tool. One time when I was looking up information an add for a dating site kept popping up on the side. I though what the.... I have nothing better to do and could use a laugh. Most of them are a joke and some are phoney. But there is one called 50plus but although it is a dating site, it is full of people that are empty nesters who just want to chat. There are 18 (I think) people mostly women that are getting together in there area for a two day meet. But more so we (yes me too) are friends that talk on the phone and email pictures and jokes and just socialize. I have added quite a few people to my friends list. The chat room can be very serious, trading recipes or grand kid stories or a bit risqué, after all it is a dating site, but most of the people on this one at least are like you and me, we just want a friend to talk to. Socializing is very important and my therapist has pushed me on this one point. I live in a small area and I have the same problem, My friends and neighbours all work. So this is how I made new friends, One person told a storey of finding his next door neighbour on a chat site. Only one warning do not give out your phone or address until you are sure. There are people on there who sell them. Oh and if you find me remember I'm there for fun and am not quite the same as here.

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

I am truly grateful for all of the friends I have on this site. I wish we could all get together for coffee, tea or lunch. I am a housewife and I don't know how to make friends. It seems that everyone in our area works or has friends and family that live close by and don't need to make friends. Some people are just not friendly or are suspicious. I just feel odd going up to a person and saying, "Hey, you wanna be friends?" I'm trying to find people who have the same interests and hobbies, like a club or something. But, most of them meet at night or on weekends and that's the only time I have to spend with my husband. I wish I could find some empty nesters. It was easy making friends when I was in school or college. But, I am isolated, not by choice, because I just don't know where to go to meet new friends. All of you have helped me so much with all of your ideas which trigger more ideas in my mind. I wondered how you all make friends and meet people. I appreciate you all, more than you know. Thanks.

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