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Literally, left out in the rain

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Literally, left out in the rain

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Kael_Bean,

You did an excellent job of clearly explaining what happened to you. I could identify with your effort to come out of the panic attack (caused by the thought of going to the art gallery) by agreeing to go to the store only to have it all end in a disappointment. However, you did take the steps towards living life - that was courageous, as is the fact that you are even in a relationship.

I have avoided relationships and the result is I am alone all the time. I hope to get to the point where I can have a relationship again and your post reminded me of what is takes - allowing another person to know who I am and trusting they won't hurt me for it, but instead will reciprocate by allowing me to know who they are.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Kael_Bean

Wow.... that was a rough evening for the both of you. I agree with everyone here, getting your partner educated about anxiety /panic, that will help. If he can understand that you have a real health problem, just as though you had say, a bad knee, and had to rest it often, or low-blood sugar that made you dizzy. You can and will get better, you will find what you need here to accomplish that. As you go forward in the program maybe you can teach him what you have learnt, or like suggested earlier, do some chapters together.

We are all here for you, take care..remember...positive thinking!!!

Cleo

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Kael Bean

I don't really know what to say other than that I am real sorry that happened to you. I'm not usually at a loss for words. I have tried to think of a way to explain panic to your partner but there really is no way to explain it to some one who has never experienced it. It is real. It is very real. If he reads this I can tell him only two things he needs to know. One is that what you feel is real and painful and the other is that we are going to cure it for you. Actually you are going to cure it, we are going to help you. And it is curable. It just takes time.

Here for you.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Kael Bean: Sounds like a hard night. When reading past posts you will see that it is rare for a partner to "get it" at first. It's hard to understand when you don't experience it. Is there a book on panic disorder your partner could read? I think doing the program together is a good idea - chose a topic which might interest the partner. You did well by going out, give yourself a pat on the back for that exposure. Have you been practicing the relaxation techniques? I do one or two before leaving the house if I'm feeling anxious. Keep posting, we care.

Your friend, Sunny

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Kael_Bean,

I am glad you posted this. It sounds like you feel a little alone right now. I can really hear the hurt, it can be incredibly hard when the people we love most do not understand what we are going through. Know that we understand and know that you are not alone.

I am sure you already know this but I want to make sure you hear it again: you did nothing wrong and there is nothing for you to be ashamed of. You are not your anxiety. This is something you can manage and take control of. It will take time and patience with yourself but with this program you can overcome this.

This situation is really hard because individuals who have not experienced anxiety can have a difficult time really understanding it. It is hard because unfortunately the anxiety affects his life is well. Try not to take his reaction too hard, be there for him the way he tries to be there for you. We all have days when we need support and it sounds like he may need to talk about how he feels regarding everything. It is always a good idea to keep communication open. Try to tackle this as a team!

How are you doing on the program? Perhaps do a few sessions with your partner? Having a bit of knowledge around anxiety may help him support you more and understand you more.

What do you want to learn or gain from this experience?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Kael Bean -

You are always welcome to post anything at all here - I'm glad you were able to share this.

It is so tough when a partner doesn't understand what we are going through. Is he willing to read a little more about it to gain a better understanding? Maybe have him read Session 1 to get some more information about what it is that you're dealing with.

I hope that he will become a great supporter and cheerleader for you during your recovery. We had another recent thread (can't remember where exactly - sorry) about how support people are so great but that ultimately your recovery is entirely in your control. Regardless, you will find great support here, and know that we are always cheering you on!

It was a big step for you to leave the house, so don't lose sight of that as an accomplishment in all of this. Try to keep working through the program and do fill out the worksheets - I find that part really helpful.

Feel free to vent here anytime!

Teebs

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

I am not really sure if this post would go here, or if this is specific to homework, but I needed to get this out here.

So yesterday my partner suggested we go out to our favourite art gallery (where we met, lots opf fond memories there, etc.), and at first I was really happy because we had not been there in awhile. But moments later anxiety took over and I spent the latter part of my day on the couch or on my bed replaying how the night would go and whether or not I would have an episode. I got so worked up I was vibrating and could feel my heart trying to throw itself off a cliff.

When my partner returned home from work however, it was pouring rain and so we decided just to go to the store down the street (2 blocks, 3 max). Being with one of the people I trust most in my life I felt I could do this and would get me out of the house for the first time in 4 days. Making our way there all seemed OK, I was trying some deep breathing, and concentrating on the person I was with and not the situation...made it to the store!!! Our return was not so smooth, halfway back I started to shake and tear up a little, then jokingly my partner said, Just for the tears we are going to walk an extra block, (I know my partner and it was said only as a joke through and through) but I burst out in to tears in the middle of the sidewalk, had to sit down in the pouring rain, and try my best to re-grab on to the reality of the situation. After a few minutes the worst of whatever had happened seemed to be over. Still anxious and panicky, but able to move so I didn't become drenched beyond recognition.

For some reason THAT is not the part that bothered me, seemed more common place than anything (which may be an issue unto itself, normal, really?!?) When we got home my partner ignored me and tried to be everywhere where I was not, after a while He came out on the porch with me and we had a talk. He said he was sorry, but he doesn't understand or comprehend the situation I am dealing with. At that point I felt so bad, because I truly don't know what is going on inside me, and so felt helpless that I could not describe or help one of the people I truly care about and depend on in my life.

Sorry this is so long winded, but I needed to get it off my chest, share the worry with the class n'such.....

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Literally, left out in the rain