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Negative Core Beliefs - Part II

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Negative Core Beliefs - Part II

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

angst

Welcome. There is a lot of information here. I know all about that waking up feeling.

Here for you

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Hi Ashley,

I read one of your posts regarding the difference between negative thoughts,assumptions and negative core beliefs. Your explanation prompted me to wrote down my negative core beliefs related to my current negative thoughts and assumptions. I discovered that it was 36 years ago when the first negative core belief was planted in my life and although I was always aware of this unpleasant event, I had no idea what an impact it has had on me. I feel as if I have been asleep for a very long time and now I am awake. Thanks - angst i am

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Loves trees: Your post reminded me of the "geography" cure. You know, when someone ups and moves thinking that the new place will be better. What they forgot was that they brought themselves along and the same old patterns reappeared.

Yes, you can live panic free. Davit and I do, we may get some symptoms (those dragons lifting their heads) but we can sort them out quickly enough. Keep practicing the relaxation techniques faithfully and the breathing. It does work. Even if you can't figure out all your behaviour patterns/core beliefs just yet, the coping techniques will help along the way. I truly believe this. Keep the faith.

Your friend, Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees

At the hospital today I had a nurse giving me her ideas on how to cure my panic attacks not knowing I don't have them any more. See even they can not believe that I don't. All they see is the way I was two years ago. It is burnt into their memory and I will always be that person to them. But I am not that person any more. I am free. Having had panic attacks will always be a memory, but they are getting harder to visualize. I have to work pretty hard to remember how it was. This is part of our pain pleasure system. Think on this. Pain, you can remember having had pain but the actual pain sensation you can not replay. It does not get stored for your own sanity. Pleasure is similar. We can remember having had pleasure but to actually replay the sensation, no. That is why we seek it out. Remembering having had it is not even close to having it. To get back to pain. Because I can not replay the actual sensation I would fear actually having pain again if I would let myself. A fear of fear. Life is complicated.

Yes people do actually get over panic attacks but the percentage is not as high as it could be because of two things. People don't want to work this hard. ( it is hard work ) and it is too easy to just take medication. Too many people stop too soon and settle for coping only. Coping is not cured. It is about half way I would say.

Here for you.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Loves Trees,

To answer your question, yes, people can certainly overcome panic attacks. Keep working on the program and you will get there. It takes time remember so try not to be too hard on yourself.

Try not to look at panic attacks as set backs. They are part of the healing process. With each one you can learn something. Just think how much you have learned already!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Hi Davit,

thanks for the encouragement. Yes you probably did look silly arguing with a computer. We've all done it. The new ones are not as big and heft as the old ones you could tap like an old tv to see if that would work (it doesn't but we all try it i think).

Well I have to admit for many many years I tried to go along to get along. Then, and you used this word before, i cauterized or performed intense surgery in my life by ending several important relationships all at once. Thinking that the relatinships (stress inducing for me) were the source of my problems and that all would be well as soon as i got these certain negative people out of my life. Then for a year or so i went numb, or underground. I didn't let anything sad come to the surface for fear it would kill me. I tried to pretend (and got lots of reinforcement from people around me on this one) that you can ignore the grieving period and fast forward straight to authentic living. Ha ha. I'm starting to feel better this AM because i now see how funny that idea was. You can't skip over resolving your pain. I see that for myself now. People will encourage you to skip over it if they are avoiding pain also. Which most people in my life are. But i have to stop concerining myself so much with them.

Do people actually win the war against the panic attacks? I would like to live without them. The grieving, the loss, the sadness, the anger, I can work with the fact I have to heal these things and grow positive thoughts like tending a garden within. But the attacks are setbacks on all levels - emotional, mental and physical as I have trouble eating the day i have one.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees

You will get it, it takes time. I'm still doing it and some days I get caught off guard. It is a good wake up call for me. Yesterday I was so mad at myself because I couldn't get my computer to work that I couldn't force a smile for anything. Today's look in the mirror was "man your getting fat, you better do something about it" I'm almost 60 so that is rather a funny thought. It still is even though I'm slowly working at losing the weight. Another smile is, "do you know how stupid you looked arguing with a computer". Leaves are turning colour, I have to go enjoy them while they are here. About the mirror. At least you know why you are having a tough time. You have a bigger battle with yourself than you thought. We all misjudge how bad we are and how far we have to go. You will win though and I am right here for you. If you want a smile think about me, a fat old man who wants to be twenty one again, a rather funny thought.

Here for you.

Your friend

Davit.

Young in my mind!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Ok. I tried the mirror thing that Davit suggested in an earlier post here.

I couldn't find a positive thought that I actually believed. The best I could do was say "i'll go eat a sandwich and try it again later". All I could do was cry when I really looked at myself. I tried saying something good to myself but I just couldn't this AM.

It was powerful to do though and i will keep trying at it. Thanks for posting about it Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

I can't add much to this discussion. I just wanted to share something. Have your ever noticed that a wife or husband can complain about their partners but if someone else says something derogatory about their mate they defend them? Or how we can criticize our parents (let's say) but when we hear someone else doing it, we feel uncomfortable?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees.

You are going to be okay, you are already digging up negative core beliefs.

About your friend, you stole her thunder. If she accepts it then she has nothing to complain about. Also you put her on the defensive, to protect the ones she is not happy with. Does she do this often. If you lost her it is because she can no longer use this form of conversation and has no other form or is out of practice. It is not what you said but how she took it. It is her negative belief not yours, you were being honest and trying to be helpful. But what do you do, Unless you become an apple and see the world through her eyes how do you know what is appropriate to say. Also if you become an apple too often then becoming an orange again becomes harder to do and you just become another sheep in the flock. I do not think you want to become a sheep and I would hate to see you become one.

Here for you,

your friend

Davit.

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Negative Core Beliefs - Part II