Thank you so much for the kind words. It's good to know someone else is working through the same thing too, and that you're also switching up the order based on availability of others and scheduling. I agree, getting out there is the most important part! I actually don't mind the varying challenges - I do some of the "easier" days and it makes me better prepared to handle a harder challenge, but I also know I don't have to stay at the high difficulty levels day after day after day - facing a fear rating of 5 will help just like facing a fear rating of 8 will. Anyway I'm rambling now, but keep me posted on your progress too!
For me it was like peeling an onion by the time I got finished the first layers didn't exist any more but like peeling an onion there were tears. The tears are gone and so is the onion. For me once I could do one exposure without difficulty all the rest fell in place. I think it is a matter of confidence, because all of mine are related. All fall under Agoraphobia. Once I knew I could handle one situation I knew I could handle all of them. Mostly a matter of believing in me. Once I got to the root of my negative core belief and realized it was me thinking negative not so much the the situation being negative and that I could change the way I was thinking things got way easier. Once I became confident in myself the negative just faded away, I can't put a time or date on it, it just left. My therapist said that is how it happens, it just goes like clouds dissipating. No magic, no smoke and mirrors just fading a bit every day.
Some exposure days were hard, some days I couldn't do it at all, but I never concentrated on the failures, I just let them go and tried again, like setting the onion aside till the tears stopped and then trying again. One layer at a time, one day at a time. No shame in losing a day, no beating myself up. just plug away at it. You start out believing it can't happen but when it starts to it just speeds up. Just a matter of confidence and belief.
Me and the therapist talked about this. How I would pull over and catch my breath and then try again. Sometimes over and over till I could do it. Exposure was only me proving to me that I could do it, that it didn't have to be there.
First let me say how impressed I am with all of the exposure work you are doing! You are awesome! I am finding the same thing as you. Some days the level of difficulty is different depending on an event's schedule or availability of a friend or family member and their schedule. I don't think we need to get caught up in the order of things, as long as we are doing them. You are doing a great job, keep up with all the great exposure work. You are inspiring me to get out even more. I'm proud of you. Your friend, Shari
It is great to hear that you are working on your exposure plan and making the steps towards overcoming your fears! Ideally, as it is explained in the program, throughout an exposure plan each step should cause a little more fear than the one before. This doesn't necessarily mean the activity being longer in duration. It all depends upon you the individual. Keep in mind that each step is helping you work towards your end goal. To me it sounds like you have been doing great at taking steps and progressing well. Keep up the great work. Also, be sure to utilize the tools provided to help you along the way.
Members, how did you layout your exposure plans? How did the difficulty vary from day to day?
I have been working on my exposure plan for about a week now, and I had a question about the order you go through things on the list. I know ideally you would work from step to step through the plan as things progress, but what are your thoughts on doing exposure to things of varying difficulty on different days throughout the week?
Right now I am working on going to events like lectures, movies, etc. either with a safe person or by myself. The availability of exposing myself to these things depends on a set schedule of events that are happening, so I've been jumping around a little bit in terms of the difficulty level of my daily exposure. For example, last weekend I went to a movie (2.5 hours) with my boyfriend as part of my exposure practice. Tomorrow, I will be going to a lecture (1 hour) by myself. So, I'm doing exposure every day or at least several times a week, but I'm not doing the exact same thing over and over again. I just want some reassurance that that's okay!
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