Thanks everyone, I'm going to take these ideas to heart! One thing I like doing is jigsaw puzzles, and I haven't done one in awhile, so I'm going to look for one to work on while she's gone. I know myself, and I think the hardest time will be the first few days, but once I survive those, I imagine it will get easier. I hope so, anyway. I can't imagine a month of this high anxiety so I'm trying to tell myself it won't be that bad!!
Ah, relationships ... always hard, and so much more so when one person is struggling with anxiety/panic/agoraphobia. The person I was with when this all began was a good guy, but unfortunately the relationship did not last the strain. Especially because at that point, I could not even leave the house and he had to do EVERYTHING. It's a lot for anyone to handle, and I understand that completely. I think, sometimes, that no matter how much I wanted someone to be there for me, the more he tried, the less I could be there for myself, and that's what I really needed to do. Agoraphobia is a really solitary disease, it seems to me, because it's hard for others to really comprehend what a full-on panic attack is like until they experience it.
Also, selfish is relative, because at heart everyone wants what makes them happy. The trick is to find a way for both peoples' happiness to coincide. It's not always easy and sometimes one or the other has to give, and it can be really hard for a person with anxiety to do that, because, at least for me, control is first and foremost on my mind. Control is what I use to keep the panic at bay, even though it's an illusion, and letting someone else do something that makes them happy but puts them out of my control (like my daughter's trip!) is hard for me to bear, even though I do want them to be happy. So, Cleo, I sense we are similar in that way :)
I'll keep everyone posted as things progress, though I am not a frequent poster!
