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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 122

Hi Davit and sunny123

Davit thank you for your reply I have written down some positive

statements about me and driving, and I am going to record them and

listen to them several times a day to start a new positive core beliefs

I have also put in what to do when I stop at a traffic light and about

not worrying about the cars behind me. I also brought out my goals

and exposure list so that I can start on them in a few days after I listen

to the new statements so that I can build on them by doing. wish

me luck.

sunny123,

Thank you for your reply I have to say I laughed at what they

told you in Bermuda!! really I was grinning from ear to ear

but it made sense! I plan to get some exposure time in and if all

goes well I will be going in know time.

My Best To All

sweatbee

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Sweatbee: I used to worry about those behind me too, especially if it was a cop car. Then I would really be nervous. The more I drove the more confidence I built up. It really was that simple, more practice until I felt quite comfortable behind the wheel and it became easy without a thought. Perhaps a relaxation session before you go would be helpful and don't forget to reward yourself when you get home again. It's a good positive reinforcement.

In Bermuda I rented a small motorbike. The first rule I was given was this: You drive on the other side of the road as in England, the left side. AND, most importantly, in Bermuda, you only worry about what is in front of you. The guy behind you worries about what is in front of him, and on and on.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sweatbee

Remember though that you don't have too, but it is best if you can. In the mean time. You know that it is a false belief, your family knows it is a false belief. I have to start writing names down. There is fellow that says if you look in a mirror three times a day and say some thing positive and really mean it it will imbed itself in your memory and become a positive core belief. It will actually bury the negative one and unless you go looking for the negative one you will bring up the positive every time. I only have a few very small dragons to fight, so me doing it might not be accurate. I already do it when I need it. I am good at telling my dragons (negative core beliefs) where to go. Do not hide from any reason that you might have for not driving, this is avoidance and it will only get worse, instead bring it out and prove to yourself it is wrong. And believe it is wrong. Look what believing has done for Shari. She believes she can change so she can. A minute here to think about this, ask her, she will tell you it is not always easy but it can be done, and does get easier. And there will be times you will back slide, after all we are only human. but in the end you will be able to drive because you will have no reason not to. Been there too so I know this works. It also helps if you have some one to tell you they have faith in you, that they believe too and that they really do. I have faith in you but I'm not family, I'm not close enough, but it doesn't stop me from believing.

Here for you,

your friend

Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 122

Hi Davit,

Thank you for your reply it gives me alot to think about I have

been dealing with this fear of driving for so long that I'll have to

try and pin point when the negative core belief changed to this

in the beginning I remember having a dizzy spell while driving

and that I think got it going, but over time it changed. I will

think on it for a couple of days and see if I can root it out.

all my best.

sweatbee

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

sweatbee

Core beliefs can be built at any time in your life. You say you are a good driver, but do you believe it. Think on it, do you really believe it. If some thing happened at the time you found it difficult to drive, you have used it to build a negative core belief. Now you might go looking for something to do with driving and that may not be it. It is more likely something that shook your confidence. Driving is just a side effect of it. It could also be some thing to do with driving but then look at where you start to have trouble driving. Exposure will not work if you have a negative core belief telling you steady that you can not do it. Is there a reason why you think you can not drive. Mini negative core belief here: because you will get in an accident? Is this true. Look in the mirror when you answer this. If you say it is not true and frown then you do not believe it and it will come up as soon as you drive. But on the other hand if you can smile and truly mean that it is not true, you are a good driver and will not get in an accident then it will not come up when you drive. A little practice and you will believe it and then when you drive you will have nothing to panic over. If you can not say this and truly believe it then you have to find the trigger that built this negative core belief and turn it around. What caused you to think this way, what caused you to lose confidence. If it is something you are ashamed of you will hide it even from yourself. It will be hard to find, but believe me there is something that you are building this negative belief on. Find it. Change how you look at it and you will be able to do the exposure to reinforce it. Enough exposure will build a positive core belief to bury the negative one but it takes longer this way. Besides if it is a case of confidence then you will dispel a lot of related negative core beliefs at the same time.

Here for you,

your friend

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Hi Sweetbee :)

I have had tendencies to look in my rear view way too much and see what everybody's up to back there. My daughter always says, "Mom, it's none of your business what they're doing back there." I feel pressure from people pushing me from behind, so I just force myself not to look in the rear view and look ahead. It's safer. I just think, there's another lane, so if they want to go around they can just do it. I would just counteract the specific negative thoughts with positive thoughts. "I am a good driver and I will not cause a wreck.", "I don't care what other people think and I will not embarrass myself.", "I am still a good driver, I will not do something stupid." Honestly, repeat that over and over, infinity and you will succeed. Regarding being embarrassed, I have found that even if something embarrassing does happen, people are so focused on themselves that they do not dwell on what other people do. I promise you that. I hope this helps. You will do great and get better with every try. I believe in you. Your friend, Shari

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 122

Hi All,

I'm looking for some advice to a problem I'm having every time I Try

driving exposures, Let me start by saying that my daughter asked

me to try driving today and I gave it a try( i know she was trying to

help in her own way). But every time I get out on the road I have this

fear of another car coming up behind me and that freaks me out! I

really don't know why this happens! I"ve been thinking about this and

part of this might be because I know that if someone is behind me I might

do something stupid and either embarrass my self or cause a wreck.

I have always been a good driver in the past, so I can't figure out why

I started doing this. Does anyone have some thoughts about what I

can say or do to overcome this?? I start out sitting in the car like

the exposure model says and then I go up and down the drive, that goes ok

its when I start on the road this fear hits. today I just had the attack but kept

driving but their has to be something to make it a better experience. any comments

would be helpful. My best to all.

sweatbee

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Thanks for sharing Teebs. It sounds like you have put a lot of effort into preparing yourself for the drive and are ready to use positive self-talk to help you get through it.

It is great to hear that you are filling out the exposure sheets and even making important observations through this experience. What tips do you have for other members working on the exposure sheets?

Members, how has the exposure session been helpful to you?

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Red and Ashley - Thanks for this discussion. I'm also starting to challenge and redirect my mind chatter more often. I have a long drive coming up by myself tomorrow and I have been worrying about it for a couple weeks. Whenever those worrying and what if thoughts come up I try to redirect my focus. I try more positive self-talk and tell myself I really want to go on this visit! One thing I have noticed when filling out my exposure worksheets is that the anxiety preceding the event or immediately before it is often worse than the anxiety when I'm actually in the experience. Red, I think it is easier to get yourself to do something for exposure when deep down it is something you really want for yourself, like in your case taking this quilting class. I bet you can make it to the store and to the class and you'll be really glad you did!

Teebs

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

I think you are right. I am uncovering the authentic me. The qualities I would like to see more are : The confident me,they outgoing me, they laughing smiling and happy me. This is something I have seen in pictures taken of me in my quilting class. At the class tea party and in the travel trailer traveling down the road. This is the happy child in me excited about learning new things, meeting people new people and seeing new things. I have experienced these feeling and gotten a glimpse of the authentic me on several occasions since I started working this program here. I am finding the authentic me again and I like what I am seeing and feeling. I like me.

Red

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