There was a time in my life when i didn't ever want to share anything with anyone, I became really resentful and defensive and bitter. That is one thing I don't really share with others.
Now that I'm starting to like myself, I'm starting to want to share. It's nice when I can make someone happy.
Anerol, I was reading your last post and it made me think. I normally wouldn't share a personal experience but I really think it applies here.
I too can be a pretty shy person and in the helping profession this can really hold you back. I often had trouble expressing myself to people I didn't know. I have done a lot of personal work around this issue and now I try to look at being shy in a different way. Now I think if I cannot be 100% authentic, open and present (without worrying about what others think) then I cannot really help another person. I need to look past my fears and shyness in order to help others to the best of my ability. In a sense, I need to be brave for others. You can apply this to every situation. I believe we are all unique, important and have something to contribute to this world. If we are being held back due to fear or shyness then we are in return not sharing our beautiful authentic selves with the world! We have so much to share! If you can let shyness not hold you back, you are not only helping yourself but helping everyone you meet! And when you think about it don't you really appreciate the most open and authentic people? You know, the ones that let their quirks and imperfect, non pretentious selves out to play with the world. I know I do
What are you not sharing with the world due to shyness?
I've been analyzing a lot about my shy behavior and have concluded it is very selfish too. I think it is because of BIG ego problems of looking 'silly' or making 'mistakes'. I have created this image of what i should be and am afraid of what would happen if i don't follow through with it. It is a big problem of my not letting go. I do enjoy conversating with people who I can trust though and i do find how I really enjoy it and I can like myself when I do, and I always smile and say hello if i ever meet eyes with anyone, but it's true I do fear it.... lately after my anxiety disorder and divorce, I've become a lot more self conscious and have a big grip on something. When I used to work, I really liked to conversate with the customers and other people, but I have made this wall in the last few years. but I know that is my excuse, and I do plan to break it. I always have this craving to learn so I enjoy the opportunity i can get from learning from every being I meet, but a lot of the times I get these thoughts like 'will i sound/look funny' 'will i make sense' etc... and end up fretting on things that haven't happened yet.
My typing has improved too. I seldom use spell check any more. I too worry about these people, are they doing the program silently or have they taken the easy way out and gone on meds only. All we can do is keep posting so if they are out there watching they will see it works. I check the who is on site bar to see if any of them are visiting. There was some one from a few months back who was visiting and I am kicking my butt for not asking her to post how she is doing. I won't make that mistake again.
One for all and all for one! I'm so glad to hear that you have got a new lease on life....speaking of cheering and crying with the people on here...I find myself wondering about some who write in and then seem to disappear...like Eric and Valppmommy (if you guys are reading this...post...there are many of us here that care about you)
I plan on being here too ...at first I didnt think it would be helpful but thats changed quickly.. And my typing has improved! ok, maybe thats not true...
I have just gone through a rough day, and I too have normal ups and downs like all of us. I am trying not to become a mother hen but I have to be honest the highest point in my day is coming here to see how every one is doing. When you cheer I cheer, when you cry I cry with you. There is nothing special about me I am just an ordinary guy who has pretty much made it. Now I want all of you, all my friends to do it too. I came to this site with nothing to lose. Life was down the tubes and I didn't care if I lived or died. All the people here have given me my life back. I have something to live for.
You will never know how much I have leaned on your shoulders. My only regret is that there were some I couldn't help. There were some I couldn't stop from giving up. Some I think will be back again because even on meds anxiety is not a way to live. But this time I am not alone. We are a group, we are one. One for all and all for one, yes. This is why we are being so successful.
I don't embarrass easy any more since I accepted that I am normal and even with my faults I like me.
You and every one else can say anything to me. You can criticize me. After all how do I know if I'm right if I'm never wrong. And I have been surprised here with the wealth of information you people have and may not even know it.
Keep doing what you are doing. Together we will succeed.
I didn't want to cause you any embarassment...that was the furthest thing from my mind! I hold your opinion in such high regard , even your opinion of yourself...I look forward everyday to see what you have to say to people! No pressure there eh? Like Sunny123 says...I too would probably dropped off of here if not for your great encouragement and advise.
Davit: I like it too! Keep it up, what would we be without you encouraging everyone on this site? I bet some of us would have dropped out by now. I would have.
Anerol: It is ok to be the "quiet" one too. You don't have to be chatty all the time, just some daily interaction is all that is needed. A smile, a wave, a good morning, how are you doing? This is a good way to start, nothing formal or intimidating to start with, just as you experienced with the library checkout girl. That's a good start. You can do it - you already did! Congratulations.
You would not believe how shy I used to be. I was so scared to talk to any one. I was afraid of looking stupid. A teacher caught me scribbling some stray thoughts in a book and when she read them I wanted to die. She set the book down and asked if they were original thoughts or if they were some one else's. I had to admit they were mine. She said "no wonder you are failing, you are bored, you should be in a class with some challenge." Ever since then I have looked for a challenge. It surprises people how much I know. And me too. I bet you would be surprised at what you know and what you could talk about if you just let go. People may be not looking at you critically they may be just amazed. Weather is always a good opener and a safe subject which I use to get shy people to open up, because I want them to see the pleasure of talking. Maybe not as much as I talk, I am a bit of a blabber mouth now, but I like it.
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