Hello again everyone,
I have been reading over the panic program, and while it's helpful I know it cannot be everything for everyone. In reading some of my posts, I am sure you know I do have panic disorder, but it's tied in with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This then leads to depression and all the other symptoms like dissociation, etc.
I can trace OCD all the way back to my childhood when I would obsess over something that was said, but I may not have heard corrected. So I would ask the person that said it to repeat it. I know this may sound normal to some, but it was very annoying at that age. I had a feeling like something bad would happen if I did not ask to person to repeat it.
This continues into present day. My wife might say something, and because I either am daydreaming or just in a daze, or maybe I just wasn't listening, I feel the strangling urge to find out what she or whoever said it, said.
I do find that when I just let it go, and do not succumb to the anxiety of having to know, it's a release and it actually makes me feel better, like I have accomplished a goal or overcome a nagging anxiety. But this does not happen all the time. There are times when the urge is just too strong and I have to ask and then I feel defeated and that something bad will happen like another panic attack or maybe something bad to me or a family member.
The reason for my post is that I am now going to log down the things I have OCD over. I have already started it and I am calling it my OCD therapy symptoms. Maybe if I can become more aware of these thoughts and how silly they are and write them down and keep a daily or weekly log, I can overcome some of them and possibly all of them in time.
It's been a nice day so far. I did have to work for 3 hours this morning, but since I have been home I have cleaned our small turtle tank and am about to go out and work on our front lawn because we are planning laying some sod soon.
Thanks for listening,
David