Thank you to everyone for your kind word's, I could not have gotten this far without this site.
I remember when I first begun on here I used to read Davit's comments and think, he's such an inspiration, he really knows what he is talking about. It must have taken him years of work to get as far as he has and I'm sure he has put an awful lot into this. Never once did I think I would be sitting here only a few months later "feeling", for the first time in over 20 years.
It is oh so easy for Doctors to prescribe medication, maybe if they put their pen's and prescription books down and listened, gave some advice once in a while there would not be so many people relying on prescription medication.
Yes, I have had a very hard life, that should not be a reason for me to remain negative, that should be, and was the inspiration that made me decide, I can make this life good for myself, I don't have to let thing's which happened to me in my previous life (that's how I see it, the old me & the new me), mar what life I have left.
I never gave myself credit for anything, whereas now I can see that I did incredible things. I was disabled by the age of 24, had twin daughters to take care of, widowed by the age of 36, I have been raped 3 times one of them consisted of an attempted murder and I let events take over my life, I took on the victim role.
Now I can see that through all this I brought up two wonderful young women single handedly, both of whom have graduated university, after I became disabled and could teach no-more I continued to attend college and continued with my education, I amassed many diplomas but still I was not happy, I was still taking that medication without ever thinking maybe I can do without it today, as I had been prescribed it I felt I needed it, now I know I could have done this a lot sooner. I blamed myself for a lot of the bad things that occurred, but know now that was all in my head, I didn't deserve any of those thing's to happen.
Just remember no matter what you have been through in life, only you can change your future, the past is called the past for a reason, the future is exciting as no-one knows what will happen and the present is a gift, a gift that we are on this beautiful earth to give love, comfort, joy and friendship and so many other things to so many people. We are all capable of changing our inner thought's, no-one else can do it for you, talking helps, but in the end unless you experience that light bulb moment your thought engine will not change.
I still have a long way to go, I have an eating disorder to get under control, but I now know with time I can achieve that goal too. We can all achieve all of our goals with a little help and guidance.
Thank you for guiding me X
