yes I'm just going to have to keep it as impersonal as i can. The only reason he's still in my life at all is not for him, it's for the rest of his family. His wife is a wonderful person and he has to beautiful daughters. I couldn't cut them out of my life.
I don't know. maybe he's changed over the years. I'd like it if I could talk about it. I don't think he even knows how much he's hurt me, or how much damage he's done to the family. Similar situation with him and my younger brother. He never told me about it, but he overdosed on some meds, and washed it down with booze and ended up in the hospital. that's when I figured out he was hurting as much as I was. He got to the point where he was having blackouts and he was afraid he'd pound somebody and not be able to stop.
After a few years of not even knowing if he's alive, I found him on facebook. He has now moved clear across the country. I'm the only one in the family he'll even talk to anymore. He called family services on my other brother, to check on the family. He's as worried as I am for my two little nieces.
I know I'm blabbing on a bit, but silence is killing me. I'm sick of hiding my real self and it's a lot easier to type things out, than to try and talk about it, getting all emotional and choked up. My family seems full of secrets.My mom seemed too concerned with having a perfect looking family, that she turned a blind eye to any ugly spots.
thanks for listening
~Corinna