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11 years and counting

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2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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Anxiety seems worse


15 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lance. 

Once again, slow down. One thing at a time. your trying too hard, your going to fall on your face. Your only 47, you have time. If your family will take you back when your better then you still mean something to them. Don't you think they will wait. One thing at a time. you were doing good driving but you didn't have it licked before adding some thing else. Keep working on the driving and when you can do it consistantly every thing else will fall into place. And guit beating yourself up for the odd coffee. I know how hard it is to give up some things. Now I want you to get better and I know you can do it. But I don't want to make you mad, that won't help, so all you have to do is post the two words GO AWAY and I will. If any one thinks I'm being tough here you should meet my therapist. Hard to believe some one that cute can spit nail but she can.  Remember, it can be done but not over night. Why don't you ask your familly for a tiny repreive just for the hollidays, after all it's not like your not trying. Afterwards you will work harder knowing you have a definite goal to work towards with lots of time.
Peace.
Davit.
15 years ago 0 183 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Thats what Ive been doing, this trying to stop the meds really slowed me down. The toastmaster thing was and is in the plan, but havnt made it. I went and the location was listed wrong, so I took a trip in to the city in bad weather for nothing, last week I was so out of it from the med thing I didnt even try and today, Im still out of sync so I slept too late. 

Yes, my family expects that before i ever have a chance to go back to them. I dont know what to think about it. Meds are helping, but wife and kids think I am weak and should find a different way of dealing with my problems. I just dont know what to think or do. I just want to get in m car and drive like I did for YEARS. I dont get it. Why is it like this. Whta terrible thing did I do to have this problem. All I ever wanted was to be a good Dad, husband and person. I failed at all of it. I miss my kids a lot.

15 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow Lance you are busy!
 
You are really giving this all you got!  That is amazing.  Very impressed with the toastmasters also!  It takes a lot of courage to do that. How are you liking it?
 
Try not to be so hard on yourself.  You are doing amazingly well and you should be proud of that.  But as you know these things take time.  When you say criteria, do you mean if you complete those listed goals then you will be able to see your family? 

Ashley, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 192 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
WOW! you are a busy person!  one step at a time, as they say.    It's true it is hard on the family.  They, especially children, don't always understand what is happening.  I feel for you and hope you make it for Christmas this year.  Sounds like you are working very hard at recovery and that's all one could ask of you at this stage.  Love yourself, accept yourself as you are right now, warts and all.  You sound as though you want to get better and that's the positive winning step.bold pls. keep posting, we care
15 years ago 0 183 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

I was doing pretty well, but the past few days things seem to be worse with my anxiety. I think the med thing may be playing a part in it, plus I have been slipping and having coffee and soda. Im just all out of whack, Im sleeping way too much and my appetite is off. Today riding the train was bad and I obsessed all day about the half mile drive I have to make. I hope I will feel better when I adjust back to the meds. 

I was so positive, this feels like a set back. I need to drive further soon as work is just around the corner. Im worried about this.

Part of the criteria to going back to my family is 

a. Driving

b. Off meds

c. working

d. living on my own

This will be the second holiday season away from my kids and its tearing me up. I miss them. They are pretty dissapointed with me, since I fell apart and have these issues. I need to fix them. I'm working out, trying to eat well, going to 12 step meetings almost every day, church twice a week, toastmasters for confidence, alanon, taking good vitamins, fish oil, seeing my therapist. quit smoking! I know I need to be more diligent with this program and another I have. I just wish I could fix me faster.


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