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Stressful week

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

About taking it less seriously, I probably would have been able to control my emotions and panic and not have been so hard on myself.

I think back to the phone hearing and all I remembered right after was that I felt a huge amount of anger. The anger was mainly about having to go through that, and some of it was also anger at the manager, who proved herself again to be 2-faced, but I was also angry at myself.

See, I always try to talk a tough game, but when I was put up against this situation and having to face my former boss (via phone) who was trying to take money away from me, I clammed up and could not fire back more at her as much as I would have liked to. I did fire back and nail her with the vacation memo, but that was really all. I am not good in pressure situation.

But when I started to remember more of the hearing, I realized that I did nail her pretty good without even getting into the mud that she was slinging. All she and the manager could do was try to paint me as a poor employee who made errors. Gee, errors, go figure. How human. I nailed her with truth while she tried to nail me with her stretched version of the truth, backed up by her henchwoman. I realized I am not a mud slinger. I am a decent person just like my father was. Yesterday was actually one year to the day since he died. Cannot believe it's been a year already.

My wife is a school teacher and she knows a teacher at her school who lives in my boss's neighborhood. She said she is a real jerk in the community.

After all this, I also realize that there have been many before me who she either fired or they quit. I can rest easy knowing that though she did fire me, she never got me to quit. Which is what I feel she wanted. I was looking for a new job all the while as she played with my hours, but I held strong and hardly acknowledged any of her games. It's a strange world when someone feels they have to try and make others feel bad so they can feel good.

David

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

I can imagine it was a great release! So happy to hear that!

I am interested when you say you have learned to take things less seriously. How do you think you would have handled it differently if you were able to take things less seriously?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 125

congratulations.

I found this inspirational! I am in a tough work situation now. Nice to know we can fight 'the man"

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

I actually celebrated by crying when I read the letter from the referee. It was a great release. Then, a few minutes later, I realized that owner can appeal again, but with a 3 judge panel. But I spoke to a lawyer's aid who said the odds are definitely in my favor if she even appeals. It's very possible she wont. This was actually her 2nd loss. The 1st loss was when I was awarded unemployment benefits after she let me go. So in her 2nd appeal she was actually trying to change the reason I was let go into misconduct. That did not work either.

My wife keeps telling me I gave her too much credit and that she's not as smart as I think she was.

She has 20 days to appeal. I really hope she does not because last week was very stressful.

You asked what I learned. I think I learned that money will cause people to do all sorts of things: Sell out; stab others in the back, and I also learned I need to not take things so seriously.The manager who was always two faced was only doing what she always does: Following the highest bidder. Yes, she did give me a good reference to my new job a few weeks ago, but to turn around and be there for that hearing shows she has no character at all, and I need not associate with people like that.

I also deleted another person that still works at that store from my facebook friends. But I did keep a note she sent me where she said she was not in on the scheme along with the owner. I could use it some day should I need to.

I took this very seriously and I let the fact that I have OCD get the better of me. I obsessed about it from Monday evening to Friday when I got home and read the letter.

Thanks again,

David

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Wrestler,

Sorry I am late to this thread but I am caught up and CONGRATULATIONS! That is amazing! You must have felt so good when reading that letter! Triumphant

! I bet your wife was very happy too! No more dreams of yelling at people anymore.

You are right where you want to be now. In a job that is better for you! Standing up for yourself is a good thing and you should be proud of yourself. It was tough working there but now you are in a much better place. Enjoy your success! You deserve it! And be happy knowing you did it!

Did you celebrate your success? What have you learned about yourself living through this situation?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

My outlook is about the same, but with a much more eased mind. I felt like I got a little justice. I felt relieved. I have had a nice time getting to know my new job and the people I work with, and in one phone call, the nastiness of the place I used to work all came back at once. It was behind me, but then reared it's ugly head, again.

I had a bad week. And the money was hardly the issue. The issue was that this horrible person was still trying to control my actions and was allowed to do so because of loopholes in the unemployment system.

I could just write this off and call it a misunderstanding, but I know of so many others who were also wronged by her long before I worked there. It happens when you work for a retail business that there's a lot of turnover.

But anyway, I am happy that part is over. She could still appeal again, which is also so wrong. But I am not sure she will. She has 20 days. A lawyer I spoke to told me it's rare that another appeal wins.

Hopefully she will just stay in her little word where everyone says yes. One of the reasons (just one) she turned on me was because I am not a yes man.Yes men are constantly selling out.

I do work hard and will give the deserving employer every bit of effort I have, but I do not kiss butt.

Thanks again for all the nice words and I hope I did not run on too much.

David

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 124

David,

I've been reading up on your posts and I am so glad to hear the news! Celebration!

Keep us posted!

SIM

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

David,

Thanks for checking in, it sounds like your determination and perseverance paid off. Now you can move on and focus more on yourself. As you know, we are always here for you and we support you.

How has your outlook on the near future changed since hearing the news?

Samantha, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Just wanted to let you know that I won the appeal. I got the letter Friday. I was so happy and relieved, I actually started crying. I was shaking as I opened and read the letter.

I had other feelings over the weekend like exhaustion and a bit of anxiety and grumpiness, but I know things like that happened following a stressful time, even when you get good news.

The nasty owner does get another appeal, but I think it is a pretty safe bet she might not even file one, and if she does I don't see a change.

I think this might be what I got her on.

The letter I mentioned where it promised a week's paid vacation: I brought that up in the hearing and she acted like I was complaining about the contents of the letter, and said, once again, that she never signed it. Like when she lied to my face and denied me my vacation. But what I was mentioned it again for was to show that is why she started cutting my hours. I guess I was so nervous during the hearing that I never realized, until Friday, that it was a great idea I trapped her with that, because she never denied she cut my hours for that.

It also might not have had anything to do with the decision at all. The letter simply said my case was more credible than hers.

David

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Thanks to both of you for the support. And thanks for the nice comments about my wife. She is everything I could ever have dreamed of when I would think about what kind of woman I would like to spend my life with.

I also agree, that yes, except for this current issue I am doing great.

I have had this issue rolling around my brain since Monday afternoon. It's very upsetting and humiliating, and it's totally ridiculous that I had to endure the reduced hours, second class citizen status while I was at that job for the last 2 months and now have this situation intrude into my happy life.

Thinking back to Monday, I should have told the referee of this hearing that this was totally unfair and I am ending this hearing now. They did not give me a fair hearing. I was at work at 1:45 p.m. and was forced to listen to two liars bash me and my employment history at that store. I was treated pretty well up until the time I fought back about the promised vacation time. But the owner felt that I was not worthy enough of the vacation time so she denied it. But I do know that one employee there who kisses butt has gotten 2 weeks paid vacation in the same time I got none. I don't kiss butt. I will be nice to a boss, but they have to respect the fact that I am doing great work for them and trying my hardest.

There has got to be some law where I can nail this woman. I am not the first one she has done bad things to, just the latest.

My wife dreamed last night that she went down to the store and got in her face.

But the answer that keeps coming back to me is how the manager of the store gave me a great reference to my current employer, gave me a follow up call to say how glad she was that I got the job. Then goes and bashes me over the phone under oath to a member of the court of unemployment appeals about money I rightly received because her boss wrongly terminated me over a grudge and the fact that she has no soul. The answer is I am hurt. Even though I know the manager is as two faced as can be, it does still hurt because I felt she really cared for what is right instead of just bowing at the altar of the all might dollar.

Thanks again,

David

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