I think many people feel uncomfortable when eating in front of someone they do not know. "What if they ask me a question and I have food in my mouth?" I used to worry about that but then I noticed that others feels the exact same way. I had a date swallow a piece of food the wrong way and cough like crazy for about 10 minutes! We just laughed after we were sure he had recovered. You wouldn't think any less of anyone for the way they eat, if anything it's something to laugh about after the initial dating anxiety is over.
Hi everyone: yes, when I was younger going to a restaurant, to actually eat a meal in front of a new boyfriend was always difficult. I guess I wanted to be perfect, not to make a single mistake, how could I possibly chew my food in front of him? What if I gagged, what if I slurped by accident, what if food was stuck in my teeth, what if I burped really loudly, what if ...the list goes on; I think you begin to see the picture. These what if's are no fun.
For me, I found if we just went for a coffee or drink (without food) on a first date, this was a good way to warm up - to relax, to get to know one another. If we had two-three dates, it would get better, I could relax and actually eat something small - maybe a coffee and dessert. It seems I could relax after that. Is it a trust issue? What is it about eating that is intimate? Why is it hard to share that? Afterall, we all have to eat.
First of all feeling anxious when dating is normal and in a way, healthy. We all want to make a good impression and this can be stressful. But you are able to relax around other girls. What about these girls or situations allows you to feel relaxed? You should really examine your fears before going on a date. What are they? How realistic are they and what would be the best and worst things to occur?
Another option is to be open about your panic. You would be surprised by how understanding people can be when they actually know what is going on with you. It doesn't make you any less attractive or interesting. Many people are willing to be patient and if they cannot accept the panic then they may not be the right person for you anyways.
Members, what do you think about panic and dating? Experiences? Advice?
I've had similar experiences on first (and second, and third...) dates. This might sound odd, but for me, the severe anxiety only comes with women I am really attracted to. I can't even go out for dinner because my stomach is in knots and I feel like I'm about to gag (which unfortunately happens). So I get even more anxious the next time around. It seems when I'm with a casual female friend who knows me well, the anxiety is minimal and I can be myself and relax. It's really a downer when you have struggles controlling your anxiety with people you have a romantic attraction to and want to date, but can't seem to relax enough to calm down and actually get to know the person and build something special. I have a tough time getting a relationship off to a good start because of this it seems. Any chance your experience is similar?? Any suggestions?
Welcome to our wonderful support community. There are many people within this support group that share the same questions and concerns as you.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It sounds like the nausea and vomitting are the main symptoms - have you tried drinking peppermint or ginger tea?
Exploring what it is about dating that makes you anxious is also something you may want to revisit with your psychologist. Can you think of reasons this may cause panic attacks for you? With the last guy, what did you like or dislike about him or the date?
Please take the time to review the program and the tools and resources available to you. Work sessions have been created that will assist you in understanding the condition better, as well as devising strategies to help you overcome your concerns. It is strongly advised that you work through the program and sessions for a successful outcome.
Please continue to strive forward and lean on us for support.
I've been having only few, mild/moderate panic attacks the last few years... before that it was many times a day and extreme. I've done work with a psychologist, and with meds to get me to where I am. Unfortunately I had a very extreme panic attack last Friday... I ended up hospitalized with IV/Gravol because of the uncontrollable vomitting. I'm looking to see if others have dealt with this, that seems to be my largest worry is the vommitting and nausea... thats what started this about 11 years ago.... I know I'm not dying or having a heart attack. I just want the extreme nausea and vommitting to stop. Any suggestions other than Gravol? Oh and it is always in the same situation, but not always every time... ie. its dating... unfortunately. My last attack happened on a first date. But other dates I had with other guys I was fine. Why this guy and this time?
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