Hello everyone. It's been a while since I have posted. Most likely a year. It's been a tough few months for me because my father died in October of 2008 of complications of pancreatic cancer. He was sick for about 2 months and could not deal with it anymore. He was going through chemo when I think his heart just gave up. He was a very courageous and decent man. The best man I have ever known. I want to be more like him and am striving to become that. I miss my father dearly. I am 42 years old and have never known life without my father. He was just about to turn 74 when he passed. I have a great support system in my wife and her family. My father and my wife had become very close, and she was devastated by his passing. But we are dealing with his loss best we can. Time heels a lot, but it never replaces what is lost. You'd think that would be enough for me to worry about but my Dad would not want us worrying about him.
I do have another problem. Last time I posted it was about changing my job and how no one wanted me to, but it worked out that my wife agreed and it seemed like the right choice, then. But now there are problems with the job.
All was well with the job until right around the time my father became ill. The owner of the company started verbally attacking me. I had heard she does this, but also thought maybe she was kidding. So I decided to let it go. Then my father died and she was as nice as can be... for about 2 weeks. Then she started in and trying to rush me to do my job and in early January, she wrote me up for making a mistake that everyone makes and usually is minor. Let's just say I work in retail and a tag was wrong, but it was minor. So I even let that pass... Then I notice my schedule changing and that I was to work 3 weekends in a row. That lasted for 3 weeks and then it was back to normal. But then there are little things like her picking on the way I perform a task or jumping on me for sitting down while performing a task. What a crime, right? If you don't want me to sit, then take the chair away.
The verbal attacks have become ridiculous because there are times she'll do it just for the sake of doing it. Then the other day, I waltz into work and there's a POST IT note on my time card that said I am not to sit down when performing a task that I can stand to do, and she said that it wastes time and that she needs people who are willing to work. Fine, I'll stand. It's OK, but the problem I have here is lack of respect. Just the day before she had an allergy attack and someone was asked to go to her house with some ice and ginger ale. I helped out with the ice and gave it to the girl going there. And the next day I get that note saying I'm a bad employee??? See the disconnect? This woman is an abuser. There's a site where employees can go to vent about their jobs. I found it doing a google seach about the company. The post says almost exactly what others and myself witness on a daily basis. The post was done by a former employee, but I don't know which one.
So, anyway, that's a sample.I work hard and I have never missed a day for being ill except for when my father died. This woman is just a mean spirited person and wants others to experience hardship.My problem with this whole thing is that it's flared up the OCD that I often have about good, stupid or indifferent stuff.Those of us with anxiety, panic or depressive disorders are a strong yet sensitive group of people and do not need any other source of anxiety in our lives.
I often am afraid to go into work for what is waiting for me that day. I have had the last 2 days off and as the next work day has approached, the OCD has become more intrusive. I used to OCD about dying, being hurt, being sick, even OCD about something good, but for some reason I cannot shake this one all together yet. I really do not know why I am OCDing about this, but it's very uncomfortable. My feelings are hurt. What's the worst she can do, right? Fire me and I'll still be fine. I really do not know why I am so afraid, but I have come to this forum to ask you all for some friendly advice. My wife is so supportive, but she cannot help with the OCD part all day. I remembered the site tonight, but I found it odd that my old password does not work. But it's me, the Wrestler (David).
