Hey guys,
I went to see my doctor. She seems worried that I am not really pulling through this "burn-out" or whatever you wanna call it. She has prescribed an anti-depressant. I asked for how long. she admitted to me she thinks I might need it long-term, as in forever. Now this idea revolts me! It makes me angry. I am working so hard to get better on my own! And on top of it, I have gotten better over the years. Even now, in this slump, my life is way better then it was once. It is one thing for me to take meds temporarily to help myself but a whole other one to take them for life! I told my doc this.
So she said ok let's just take them for a little bit then to help get you back on your feet. So I took the prescription. I was crying the whole way back in the car. This depresses me. This makes me feel defeated and like a failure. I worked so hard to get off the meds and now I am back on! I hate this. Plus, I haven't ever really found any meds that really worked well for me anyway! So many side effects, bleh! I could cry right now.
So now I have these new pills and I have no idea what to do with them. Chuck them or take them.... On top of it, with all the bad reactions and allergic reactions I have had in the past, taking new meds is an ordeal for me at best. I get so scared! Bleh!
Today is a bad day.
On top of it, I have leanred from my pharmacist that this molecule is close enough to one of the meds I have had an allergic reaction to that I need to be on allergy watch everytime I take it for 2-3 days! Now I am terrified to take it! But I have few options...
This is a bad day.
