Winston Churchill once said that people wrongly perceived him as intelligent because he was well articulated. I feel the same.
I've had this same 'cognitive age' (per se) since I was 13. My father passed away and I took on the role of 'father' to my younger brother. I had to be strong for him and my mother, who was suffering depression and panic attacks. I would cook, clean, look after my brother while my mother worked - all while trying to be a normally functioning 13 year old.
Things didn't quite work like that, and I lasted 2 years of the charade before being diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Afterwards, my mother, who saw me as 'her rock' - disowned me.
I left home at 15. Left school and went to work. Got my own flat, and have built up all I have now. For which I have enormous pride in myself. 4 years ago I was homeless. Today I have a good job, a great flat and prospects.
I think what I'm trying to say is that my ability to empathise and articulate those empathies to others makes me look intelligent. I don't feel particularly so, but who does? What I really want is to be at university. To be a 'normal' 19 year old.
There are times when I'm feeling particularly dark (no pun intended on my name) where I wish I was ignorant. I'm sure that sounds farmiliar to you all.
And I forgot to thank you Diva. I feel as though I know you, and your words always hit home with me.
Thank you.
