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I'm not gone - I'm just dealing with a lot

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I'm not gone - I'm just dealing with a lot

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

I know ranting, but personally it feels good to get it out and read it. Don't know if you've seen my rants, but I do the same thing. It's a great tool to help in understanding. Making use of hindsight in a controlled, constructive form at a place where the people always have interesting insights/perspectives to add, or support to help you push on.

Keep on keeping on!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

wow, those are nice words! I really feel it now.. because I was really dependent on the labels we had as husband and wife.

Thanks for sharing but I'm sure there is a person out there that is greater for you.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 150

Thank you all, for your kind words of support and as predicted, sound advice.

In the grander scheme of things, this is simply a blip on the map. Everyone's life changes every day, whether they notice or not. Some changes are more apparent than others. But alas, life goes on.

I met her for breakfast today and with the benefit of hindsight, it probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had. It made me feel she's recovering quicker than I am. She talked about how she's constantly been out at clubs, work, meeting friends etc.

I've done the same, but to say it to someone you broke up with 2 weeks ago - it takes either malicious intent or simply that you feel you are both on a level playing field in the healing process.

But then again, I don't let on how much I'm affected; so the same could be true for her.

And of course, it doesn't really matter.

I'm torturing myself. Counting the days until she's with someone else and doesn't give a damn about me. But the truth is, she could be with someone right now and 1. It makes no difference to me 2. I wouldn't even know unless I was told.

I remember at the start of our relationship, I offered the words that: Everyone on this planet is, in essence, a solitary being. They should be completely comfortable with themself before entering a relationship. And when you do have a relationship, it should always be to complement, not complete you.

Wise words that I should have perhaps lived rather than simply said.

I think I became quite co-dependant on her.

But now I'm just ranting.

Thank you all.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Dark, Thanks for sharing and know that you are not alone. Your right it will get better day by day, step by step. You can be active in this and continue forward. Use the program, therapy, support and communication to get you on a positive track. Start thinking about you and what you want to do. Get yourself moving and do something for yourself. You have to take care of you first!
We are here when you need us so post and vent or support..we can lend a hand.

Josie, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Hi dark blue

Break ups are terrible I agree and like Cael said sometimes it's hard to seperate anxiety and the reality of the feelings we are experiencing. All people feel awful things when relationships end..from all a ranges of the emotional spectrum. They get all tangled up with the anxiety especially when it's something like this that digs so deep.

You've always been a great source of inspiration and wisdom to me (and others) and I know you're young...much younger than I anyways. It doesn't minimize what you're going through but be sure that there is more out there for you. She may or may not be the one... and time will tell and heal.

Allow yourself to grieve..that's what you need to do... Like all things with an ending we have to process it...

Be patient with yourself .. and soon all that positive energy of yours will find it's way back to the top and a new road on this journey called life will begin for you...

Keep us updated darkblue...

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hi Dark Blue!

I think Cael said it all and I agree. I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. I am going through a 'break up' right now as well, but what I can say is I don't regret anything because I had a great fight for it... and still he never came back for me. And I think splitting up is the best thing I can do for him to grow.

I always feel your words are so powerful and bring all of us up. I bet it's really rough right now, but I know that you have that power in you to believe in the good... so in time you will be back.

Best wishes.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

hi darkblue,

just wanted to write a quick note to wish you well through all this. i think the thing with anxiety is that it's hard enough to get by sometimes when all is well and stable, so when it's not it's natural to question how we'll manage. i also know how impossible it can seem to separate the issues going on in our lives with the issue of our anxiety and not see them as inextricably connected, even if in many ways they are problems independent of one another. when going through stuff it's easy for people on the outside to say that you can use this as a challenge, or time to show yourself what you've learned, and so forth. i think a lot of that is true but part of the truth is that you are dealing with some big stuff right now, and that it's okay to suffer, or feel awful, and not be strong. i think relationships ending are the most difficult thing to go through, and they often are more difficult because we try to weather them well and tough it out and not let ourselves mourn, or at least not in the real cathartic ways.

i always admire your responses to people here - how empathetic and strong you are, how you have a way of seeing the things we all need to see to get better and encourage others. those are amazing qualities that say so much about you as a person. i know real life is more complicated, but the essence of who you are when you write here is someone i know will come through this okay because of tremendous inner strength and resources, and who anyone will be lucky to have next to them to support them and see the good things.

take care of yourself.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 150

Hi all,

I am alive, honest... I know I haven't been here in a while, but I'm still around.

My partner of 3 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I've been pretty lost without her, but I'm trying to keep busy and move on and not let myself break down.

I have been taken off of my work's pay, and so I'm now receiving nothing from anywhere until my claim for benefits are processed, which meant I couldn't pay rent, which means I'm on my way in 30 minutes to meet my landlord, who no doubt will not be best pleased.

It's just all getting so much to cope with, but I'm trying my best. I'm just dealing with them one at a time.

I mean, if it was just my partner who had broken up with me, then I think I would be stressed enough, but life is never that simple.

I'm feeling anxious a lot, but I'm working through it and putting things in perceptive.

I'm meeting an old friend for dinner tonight, too, so I'm not forgetting about giving myself some 'me' time. Which is very important.

I don't know why I always come here and say how much stress I am under, and then point out the good things.... I think I'm trying to be strong not only for me, but for the benefit of you reading this.

The truth is, at night, when there is nothing to do or think about - I can't sleep. I miss her so much. She was my life for 3 years. And one day she just stopped being romantically attracted to me.
I'm destroyed.

Absolutely destroyed.

And I have this typically British attitude that I should just sweep it all under the carpet and keep going. I can't really do that right now.

I'm feeling constantly sick, and so I'm not eating right. And when I eat, it's because I force myself.

I have so many doubts, so many regrets, so many unsolved questions.

There's a huge void in my life right now that I'm trying to fill by keeping busy. In truth, it'll take time to go away.

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I'm not gone - I'm just dealing with a lot