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I just love reading the men in here posts . Thank-you you two so much . I have had a good think of what you wrote and have to agree with you . I know i have always been an anxious person and probaly always will be . Yes it is going to be a long road ( why when ever i see long road do i want to sing 'he aint heavy ..he's my brother ?) .
Gene isnt it horrible what others think of depression ? Seriously think that schools should have some sort of lessions on it .
Sometimes its difficult for us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Well I speak for myself by like Jhori82 I also think I still have along road ahead of me and I too will no doubt suffer from anxiety for the rest of my life. But what is changing now is my attidude. A couple of months ago the idea of even a few months or weeks of this seemed impossible and overwheliming. Now I believe I can handle this. Also, on the positive side like jhori82 said it has given me a renewed persepctive on others. My wife recently has sunken into a deep depression and I don't know if I would have been as supportive before this happened to me. I am grateful that I may provide her with care without being condesending and patronising. People at work have said things to her like "get your act together" or just "pull yourself out of this". I too might have felt this way (well I have no way of knowing now). But now that I have experienced the feeling of being out of control of my own behaviour I can empathise with her. And empathy is more powerful than sympathy.
We all have our demons to fight. PD has also forced to re-evaluate many other aspects of myself and my outlook on life in general. To a large extent I have overcome my "people pleasing" nature, I am becoming more selfish (in a good way) and I care less of what others think about me.
Jhori82 just don't add what Placebo adds to the phrase "A friend in need is a friend indeed" ;) But seriously thanks. I do feel much better when I post here and it is nice to know that others care.
BTW- the fear of the next PA is not strong in me today. To continue with your starwars theme- I have not come over to the dark side (yet)! But the force is strong in me.
Hi Genejockey and Jhori82,
I believe a big congratulations are in order for dealing with this demon head on and realizing that the intensity and length of the PA's are starting to diminish. It's great that you are challenging your thought processes and finding alternate ways to perceive the situation which ultimately results in a more manageable outcome.
Thanks for sharing your progress...........I'm sure it encourages others that overcoming this battle is possible.
Faryal, Health Educator
I'm feeling the same thing right now, Gene. All day today and over the weekend I've been feeling that underlying sensation of a possible PA attack. Things like this make me think the road ahead is a very, very long one, but I'm always up for a challenge. Besides, I'll always have anxiety, it's human nature...might as well learn to deal with it now so it won't affect the next challenge life gives me. I have noticed, though the PA's haven't stopped entirely, my ability to overcome them is getting increasingly better...due to challenging the demon within.
Personally, I've found that unexpected or expected PA doesn't really matter. What matters is you challenge them. Focus too much on the how and why and you're digging yourself into a hole. But, no matter how deep that hole is, remember you've got people around like us to lend you a helping hand out. "A friend in need is a friend indeed". And indeed we are all friends, because in need we all are. Damn, I was trying for Shel Silverstein but I think I got Yoda...
At the moment I am also feeling that "sensation of feeling a PA could hit at anytime". I had a PA a few hours ago. What I can say on the positive side is that the sensation doesn't last as long for me anymore. I used to spend days with that sensation. But today I realised about two or three hours later that I had forgotten about the PA. This is big progress for me. Last week Monday was when I had my last PA before today and then I felt far less anxiety than after previous PAs. And today the PA hasn't really unsettled me that much. Challenging my thoughts while I was having the PA also dramitically reduced its intensity and length. Last week Monday (before I learned about "challenging my thoughts") the PA lasted for nearly 5 hours. That is a very yucky feeling. Today it was far shorter. This means allot to me as situational PAs are something I can fight head on but these unexpected ones, which I seem to bring on by thinking myself into them, are more difficult to challenge. How do you challenge a PA that started while sitting on the couch watching TV?
Nice motto Joe and Miki I am very happy that I could give you some help. BTW Miki I like your motto as well.
I'm just getting over the sensation of feeling a PA could hit at anytime, so you and me both are overcoming that beast. Aha, you know what's funny? I remember 10 years ago, seeing something on agoraphobia and wondering how or why they could be stuck in such a state. Seems ironic that I experienced it. But I feel very privileged now to have had such an experience. It helps me understand other peoples perspectives that much more, and in understanding perspectives, the old teacher in me is coming back out. I can rarely help a person understand themselves, but I can always give them a little hope. Paradise is only as far away as you make it, and I try to make mine where ever I am.
Oh, I'm stealing the idea about distractions that you gave to Miki...that was grade A advice that can also help in places other then a car seat! Cheers!!
I tried what you advised here yesterday in the car way back here (although, I wasn't the one driving) and I was able to distract myself. Thanks so much.
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