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what a trigger

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hello Maggie,

I cannot really relate to the kids leaving for school part but I can relate to the hubby part. I can so relate to trying to say something to your hubby that was a revelation to him and being frustrated at him not getting the importance of him. I have had so many of those moments myself.

I find my husband to be much more supportive and understanding of my anxiety and such lately. Now if I could just ween him off the video games....

Anyway, I am sorry you had a PA but glad you are discovering your triggers. That is a good way to get better.

How are you today? Hope to get an update!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

...thanks...

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Not to be too much of a pessimist. Africa is amazing in other ways. I would feel real seperation anxiety if I couldn't be near the african bush. Just a few hour drive away I can fall asleep to the sound of lions at night. It is magical. But Johannesburg. Bleurgh!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Gene i have watch many a programme on SA . I think you are very brave living there with whats going on !!

Miki couldnt have put it any better myself hahaha

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

LOL Miki. Nice comment!

Maggie I feel bad that I am hijacking your post!

I think SA is pretty bad on the mental health side of things! I heard a scary statistic the other day; 50% of poor South Africans and 10% of affluent South Africans are depressed.

Regarding anxiety, however, we must be one of the worst (or best?) in the world. Crime in this country is just insane. The nature of the crime is so disturbing and we as South Africans have become "punch drunk". We hear shocking things all the time but they are so commonplace that we ignore them. Most of our atrocities committed are unneccesary but are committed out of revenge, spitefulness or just mean fun. Our next door neighbour was tortured for hours. So much for a quick get away. Criminals here don't even care about being caught. We also have hellish traffic with madmen drivers who you cannot trust to obey the basic road rules like stopping at an intersection. And then we have police officers who throw you into jail because you didn't want to pay them a bribe! And in prison you have a very high chance of acquiring HIV! If you know what I mean. Talk about anxiety...

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hey all,

I cannot relate to the children part for I have none. But I can only imagine, maybe it's also a sad feeling that they are growing up. But it's good to grow up and learn things.

As for the not understanding spouses... HELLO! That is my subject! Haha. Well, I think nobody will ever understand one another... even if we all have the same disorder, we will always be distracted with ourselves.We live alone, we die alone. And I notice now that my husband thinks he's the victim for having a "sick" spouse. I will never understand this until I am in his position too. But the thing that lacks that frustrates all of us is the smallest consideration of trying to understand. The WILL and PROMISE to be strong for us and have our backs when we need it... the 3 words they just need to say: "How are you?" Respect as another, same human being... just lacks. But hey, it's their loss really.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

You've made some good points Genejockey. The lack of awareness and understanding that stems from society does add to the frustration for those dealing with mental health problems. There is a lot of judgement and ignorance out there. I notice you are from South Africa ( I am originally from East Africa!) and I wonder if cultural norms and differences contribute to this. I know that some cultures (such as my own) don't even dare to discuss the topic................however many are trying to break through this mental barrier because it is necessary. Maggie and Cornish-dee............it is common for many parents to feel anxious when their kids return to school.........especially for the first few days until everyone adjusts to the routine again. Try to focus on positive ways of utilizing the time to get other things done or even spending time on your own while the kids are away. Faryal, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Hi Maggie

Coming off a PA really makes me tired. You sometimes feel shattered. Its basically your body just coming off the adrenaline. It's like the analogy of the roller coaster, except that when you get off the roller coaster you feel elated not petrified.

How many people on these forums have written about problems with their spouses not understanding PAs? I think that we can blame this on society not having enough understanding of mental health problems. People assume that one can easily control behaviour, yet it is not that easy. As if we are choosing to panic and that by just willing it away the panic can be stopped. Also I really believe that anxiety has a genetic basis- so how dare people who are not predisposed to these conditions judge others who are. Would they judge a person with faulty insulin production?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Hello Maggie , very interesting . Yes i do get very anxious when my children are at school . Not all the time i will add . Maybe more when im not feeling so good . I do find that when i have the children around me then im in 'taking care' mode and its distracts me from me .

As for your husband , its so hard for someone to actually understand what a panic attack feels like . They are frightening nad totally exhusting . Even when they have gone you have the mentle scars and are just waiting for the next one . Fortuntely being here has cut that feeling down some .

Im glad you found a trigger , its so frustrating when you are having PA's and dont know why . At least you can have a good hard look and think about them now . Then work out something that works for you .

Hope you feel abit better now Maggie take care .

CD x

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

I think I found a trigger. I had a panic attack last night, I could just feel it coming on and then boom! I told my husband what was happening and his response was "we've been through this before, you know it's nothing". I felt so deflated, it was incredible. I tried to explain to him how it feels and tried to relate it to something that pertained to him, I think maybe he understood. But I really wasn't in the mood to explain things to him, I just needed a sounding board. So he got up this morning early, headed off to work at 6:00 a.m. and didn't bother asking me how I felt, it was just about him. I had to get the 3 boys up (fortunately they are very good in the mornings), and get our dog walked, get kids to the bus and then come home to get myself ready for 9:00 (I volunteer 3 hours on Tuesdays). I don't think he'll every get this...

I was getting the kids ready for school for today, packing their backpacks with them, etc. and then it just hit me. They are leaving me today ( I know it's only school, and it sounds silly, ususally parents are thrilled to get their kids off to school), but this time it hit me. I'm starting a computer class on Thursday and maybe the "newness" to that is also the cause.

But right now, I feel exhausted after going through the panic attack. Has anyone felt that before? I need to start up this program again, things were going so well, but I think because the boys were home with me during the summer and it was ok, now they're back to school (and I'm sure I'll appreciate this at some time), but now it's just weird.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

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what a trigger