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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Hello Miki

. I really do feel for you , you are in a differcult situation it must be ever so hard . But can see that you have got a spark of determination in you now . You are taking steps which is great , they do mount up Miki . I know its slow but i have every faith in you .

I love seeing you here Miki

we are right behind you .

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hello Miki!

I think it is great that you are taking baby steps towards what you want! Keep us posted!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Thanks so much, those are really really nice words! Gets me excited.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Miki,

It does take time, but like you said, you're working on it. Slow and steady wins the race!

You sound like you are motivated and want to start challenging your fears. If you hang on to that optimistic attitude, you will be able to do it!

As you know, we're here to help and support you along the way.

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hey, thanks for the replies.

Today I called my friend back and told her I am not going on the trip. She sounded really disappointed or maybe I just heard it that way because I'm probably disappointed in myself. I was really embarrassed to tell her that I can't go unless my husband goes. I can't stop thinking about it today and it makes me sad... I just want to disappear from them.

I've told my husband many times about my feelings but I end up feeling stupid because there's really nothing that can be done. I just have to suck it up. I don't want him to change because he's not doing anything wrong and it's just me that is overreacting because I have so much time on my hands. I know the only way to change all this is to get myself off my butt and start doing things that would keep me busy and proud of myself. But of course to do that is to do the things I fear and I am doing those things slowly. I just need to get what is bugging off my chest and that is what I do here. It bugs me at how much time it takes.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1288

Miki, And this is why we're here, we are your ear when you need to let things out. Have you spoken to your husband about your concerns and feelings? What would help you feel better and but your anxiety at ease? Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hiya Miki.

It sounds like you find the situation with your husband really hard and who can blame you! Living apart can be tough. But as you said he loves you

. Hold on to that

. I think it is great though that you are learning to do things on your own. You go girl! I think once you feel more independant it will help with your husband too. When we feel better just on our own we are bound to feel better around others too. But that is just my opinion lol!

I think though that you should not compare yourself to him. We all have our strong points and not so strong points. Just do what you are doing. Work on feeling happier for yourself and the rest will follow!

As for the optometrist, congratulations! Wow going there on your own and everything! Gratz! Amazing.

Have a good day Miki! Feel free to vent anytime and please keep us posted!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

My husband is in the military and he came back from the middle east in the end of March. This was when my anxiety and depression was really out of control. Now he lives two hours away from me and I have been living with my family in a bigger city. I used to live in his city before he left to the middle east but since he will be leaving again next year, we decided to live separately. We are both young and it is really difficult for me because I have fear of going out by myself. He is always out and about in his city and now he has become closer friends with my friends over there. He works, goes to school, and has a social life out there without me and here I am without any of those. When he is here on the weekends, I know how much he loves me because I can see it, but I become insecure on the days he is not here. I have breakdowns about this to him which I hate because I don't want to accuse him for things. I have been getting used to it lately and have been starting to get my life back in the smallest baby steps but there are moments, like now, when I will stop and think about how I wish I can just be "normal" or have as much confidence as him.

My friends invited me to go on a road trip with them. These moments I hate because I have a feeling of how fun it would be and the other half feeling of anxiety. My husband was invited also, but I hate that I can't do anything without him. I will not go unless he is going. My whole life revolves around him and he is not even here.

I am working my way to be able to do things on my own again. I have been driving locally everyday and today I went to my optometrist. I got really anxious there and I had to tell the doctor a couple of times, which is what I dread to do, but it was not as bad as I thought. I was anxious but a big step for me was not moping about it and still being motivated for tomorrow.

Thanks for reading, I just needed to let it all out.

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